Welcome back to Mindless Prattle where we share with you all of our delusions about how to survive in the wilderness, the intense dislike Ripley has for fun (sky-diving), and all about surviving your first baby mama. Don't worry, you also get to hear Ripley's weird OCD tendencies and stuff you probably didn't wanna know. We've got all that and more this week so ready your ears and buckle in for another great episode.
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[00:00:01] Okay, LastPass logged me out of my main computer.
[00:00:18] What's a computer?
[00:00:19] Computer.
[00:00:20] And like, I'm pissed because I don't know my LastPass password.
[00:00:25] That's the whole point.
[00:00:26] That's the main one.
[00:00:27] And like, how am I supposed to log in if it logged me out?
[00:00:32] Yeah, so when you make that password, it definitely says remember this password because we will
[00:00:37] not save a copy of it and will not remind you of it and you can't reset it.
[00:00:42] So I know you can reset it.
[00:00:44] I've reset it like four times.
[00:00:46] But it's like you have to jump through hoops just to fucking reset it.
[00:00:49] And I'm like because it's the one password you're not supposed to forget.
[00:00:52] So it can remember all your other passwords for you.
[00:00:57] But like, I just don't get why it logged me out suddenly.
[00:00:59] Like it's really annoying.
[00:01:01] It does that once a month now.
[00:01:03] It will log you out.
[00:01:04] I might as well look into a new password saver because like, I ain't got the brain power
[00:01:08] for all that shit.
[00:01:11] Remembering one password.
[00:01:12] Yeah, that's gonna do a lot of work.
[00:01:14] Because it has like a higher requirement for passwords than other apps do.
[00:01:18] Wow.
[00:01:19] So you have to remember one password that's slightly longer.
[00:01:22] Is that what you're telling me?
[00:01:25] I don't have a great memory.
[00:01:27] That was the whole point for me.
[00:01:29] Uh-huh.
[00:01:30] The whole point is you have to memorize one password.
[00:01:34] Just one.
[00:01:35] And the requirement is like 12 characters with a special character.
[00:01:40] It's not like you have to memorize 18 characters or 30 characters.
[00:01:44] It's 12.
[00:01:45] Well, I just don't get why did they change it to log you out all the time?
[00:01:49] Like I don't want to be logged out.
[00:01:51] Because it's more secure.
[00:01:55] Don't want that.
[00:01:57] I just wanted to put all my passwords in for me.
[00:02:02] Yeah, that's the nuts secure part.
[00:02:06] Well whatever.
[00:02:07] Well, I'm on I'm here now on your computer.
[00:02:11] Yeah, great.
[00:02:14] That's super helpful.
[00:02:17] At least we're recording.
[00:02:18] Okay?
[00:02:19] Like I wasn't logged out earlier too.
[00:02:23] So I'm like, are you coughing a lot still?
[00:02:32] I don't really know.
[00:02:34] I didn't know since you named it sickness round two.
[00:02:36] I was like, what does that mean?
[00:02:38] I don't know.
[00:02:39] That'd be funny.
[00:02:41] You are funny.
[00:02:45] Well, hello.
[00:02:47] Welcome back to mindless prattle.
[00:02:49] I'm Ripley, that's Jordan and we're here to talk to you again.
[00:02:57] Now you say stuff.
[00:02:58] Sorry, my volume was really low.
[00:03:00] I could barely hear you.
[00:03:01] Oh, I always have the opposite problem when I log into your computer.
[00:03:04] I have to like lower the volume.
[00:03:06] I'm like, why is this shit so loud?
[00:03:08] Which volume?
[00:03:09] The volume in the headphones?
[00:03:10] Because I never wear them.
[00:03:12] I just use them as speakers now because they're falling apart.
[00:03:15] Oh, that makes sense.
[00:03:19] The little like the gray part that covers the headphones on mine is it keeps coming
[00:03:26] out like all the material inside of it.
[00:03:28] And I know I've had them for a long time, but I'm not ready to get new ones yet.
[00:03:37] Yeah, I mean, I need to get new ones, but I'm not there.
[00:03:39] So I've never had the need for the past year and a half, whatever it is.
[00:03:43] Sorry, what were you saying?
[00:03:47] No, go ahead.
[00:03:48] I just I really want wireless headphones, but my computer can't do wireless anything
[00:03:52] because iBuyPower lies.
[00:03:54] I'm not a huge fan of wireless headphones.
[00:03:57] I don't think they're that fun.
[00:03:59] They're not that like reliable to me.
[00:04:01] I don't know why.
[00:04:03] I know why you don't like the wire.
[00:04:04] Because you suck at managing wires and it gets caught on your chair.
[00:04:07] And you're like, I don't know how it keeps doing this teehee.
[00:04:09] And you put it down in the same spot in the same way every time and then wonder
[00:04:14] how it gets caught like you when you use my desk and you put shit back, you
[00:04:18] don't put it back in the same way.
[00:04:19] You put it back the same way you put on your desk.
[00:04:21] And it annoys me when I show up and I move my chair and my headphones fall
[00:04:25] off my desk because of the way you place them.
[00:04:27] Well, I've been putting them back on your little holder thing.
[00:04:30] You did not. You did not place them back.
[00:04:32] You did not last week.
[00:04:34] I did today.
[00:04:35] Uh-huh.
[00:04:37] But what were you going to say?
[00:04:42] I was saying, uh, it's been an interesting week.
[00:04:46] Yeah.
[00:04:47] We apply it for an apartment, a new one to go and do the living thing in
[00:04:53] got accepted, got all of the things set up, the electrical, all this fun
[00:05:00] stuff, right.
[00:05:02] And then, uh, we signed the lease and the next day they were like, Hey,
[00:05:11] uh, you and the company you're moving three hours away.
[00:05:15] And I was like, awesome.
[00:05:17] I'm glad that I didn't move anything into that apartment yet.
[00:05:21] However, uh, comma, I need some documents so I can go break the
[00:05:25] lease and then transfer it to a new one.
[00:05:28] So now we've got to restart the whole process.
[00:05:31] But when I went in there today to talk to the office, because we were
[00:05:37] supposed to pick up the keys today.
[00:05:40] And so I went in there and I was like, Hey, um, this is kind of awkward
[00:05:45] and they're like, what's going on?
[00:05:46] And I was like, well, I was supposed to pick up the keys today.
[00:05:49] And they're like, Oh, you still can.
[00:05:51] And I was like, no, I don't want them.
[00:05:53] Um, they're like, what do you mean?
[00:05:57] And I was like, well, I was like, I'll be in transferred this and that
[00:06:00] blah, blah, blah, and she's like, Oh, okay.
[00:06:03] And she didn't even try to help me.
[00:06:04] The first lady, she was just like, Oh, okay.
[00:06:07] Uh, stay here for a minute.
[00:06:08] And I was like, okay.
[00:06:09] She's like, I don't know what's going to go anywhere.
[00:06:13] As you walked like not even four feet away said the exact same thing
[00:06:17] that I just said to an empty room that she was looking in came back
[00:06:22] and was like, Oh yeah, she can go in there.
[00:06:23] She'll help you.
[00:06:24] And I was like, okay, thanks for the pep talk, I guess.
[00:06:28] So I walk around the corner and there's a lady in this giant office with
[00:06:31] like a good size desk, but not big enough for that office.
[00:06:35] Like that's an office for like two to three people.
[00:06:37] It's crazy.
[00:06:38] Anyway, I explained the whole thing over again and she's like, Oh yeah.
[00:06:45] You'll have to, I don't know.
[00:06:48] And I was like, I don't know either.
[00:06:49] That's kind of why I'm here talking to you guys.
[00:06:51] Uh, cause I obviously don't need the keys now.
[00:06:54] I would, I need the paperwork to break the lease, you know?
[00:06:59] So she's like, okay, well let me, let me print out the, um, excuse me.
[00:07:04] She said, let me print out the paperwork so that we can have you sign it
[00:07:08] saying that you want to, you're terminating the lease.
[00:07:11] And I was like, okay.
[00:07:12] She goes, did you want to terminate it today?
[00:07:14] And I was like, whenever works for you guys.
[00:07:16] Cause I mean, I'm not moving in and I haven't picked up
[00:07:19] the keys obviously yet.
[00:07:20] So I it's whatever you guys are best with, you know?
[00:07:25] She's like, okay, well normally it's a 30 day notice for the military,
[00:07:30] but obviously you're moving next week.
[00:07:32] It's not, you can't give 30 days.
[00:07:34] I'm like, yeah, they gave me a week notice, but pretty much that I
[00:07:37] was moving with the whole company.
[00:07:39] And she's like, okay, um, well let's sign it for today and I'll submit
[00:07:43] it to the, like my bosses and stuff.
[00:07:46] And then worst case worse, they may make it so that your lease ends on June,
[00:07:53] whatever it is, like a month, the 16th or 17th or whatever,
[00:07:59] instead of today, because that'll give them the 30 days that they need.
[00:08:03] But I'm going to tell them that you never even picked up the keys.
[00:08:06] So we should just relist it and not have you pay all that.
[00:08:10] And I was like, that's bad.
[00:08:12] Good news for me.
[00:08:13] I would hope I don't have to pay for time that I'm not in the apartment.
[00:08:16] You know?
[00:08:16] Yeah.
[00:08:20] But so then she's like, okay, well, um, do you have a mailing
[00:08:24] address where we can send you like mail and stuff?
[00:08:27] And I was like, for what, what mail would you need to send me?
[00:08:31] She's like, well, it requires a mailing address on here.
[00:08:35] Um, and it's usually a forwarding address or mailing address.
[00:08:39] It's usually in case we find something wrong with the apartment
[00:08:43] and we can't send you like messages through the resident portal anymore.
[00:08:47] So we have to mail you things.
[00:08:48] And I was like, okay, but I was never in the apartment.
[00:08:51] So why do you need a mailing address to send me things that are wrong
[00:08:54] with the apartment that I was never in?
[00:08:58] And she's like, ah, it's just the standard.
[00:09:01] It's like required as part of like filling out the form on our computer.
[00:09:03] I'm like, I was like, okay, fine.
[00:09:08] So I gave her an address, you know, I'm like, here, send things to here.
[00:09:11] And I was like, can I give you my email and you can just send things to
[00:09:14] that because that'd be much faster to get in touch with me.
[00:09:16] Cause you know, it's 2024.
[00:09:20] You could just call me and be like, Hey, I need this.
[00:09:22] And I'm like, okay.
[00:09:24] And so she's like, oh yeah, yeah, that'll work too.
[00:09:26] So I wrote down my email and that stuff.
[00:09:28] And I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go.
[00:09:31] She's like, can you send me the documents over like today?
[00:09:33] And I was like, yeah, I'm, I have them like they're digital though.
[00:09:36] I'll, I'll go back to the hotel room and send them over.
[00:09:40] And she's like, Oh perfect.
[00:09:41] That'll be great.
[00:09:42] I was like, sure.
[00:09:45] We went and sent those over, but it was like, yeah.
[00:09:49] What an adventure.
[00:09:53] A week fucking know this whatever you can't control it, but it's just funny.
[00:09:57] Like we never stepped foot in there, but whatever.
[00:10:00] Yeah.
[00:10:01] She was like, that's what she told me.
[00:10:03] She was like, yeah, we'll probably just refund you for the first month or at
[00:10:06] least everything besides like the first three days, cause technically we, we,
[00:10:11] the lease started like three days ago.
[00:10:13] Yeah.
[00:10:14] You know, so I was like, I'm fine paying for all of May, honestly,
[00:10:17] cause it's, it wasn't super expensive for all of May.
[00:10:20] Cause you guys gave me some really good discounts.
[00:10:23] So if you want to keep all of May and just list it for June 1st
[00:10:27] move in that's up to you guys.
[00:10:28] She was like, no, no, no.
[00:10:29] Well, we signed that you're out, out of the apartment today.
[00:10:33] So we'll, um, we'll relist it and we'll probably just give you a refund
[00:10:37] for the rest of May that you paid for.
[00:10:39] And I was like, cool.
[00:10:41] Whatever works, man.
[00:10:41] I don't know.
[00:10:43] Guess we'll eat those deposit fees though.
[00:10:47] Yeah.
[00:10:47] But it's not a big deal.
[00:10:48] Whatever the application fees were.
[00:10:50] No, but they refunded that off of the price of the, uh,
[00:10:54] the first month's rent.
[00:10:55] That's true.
[00:10:56] Can't complain.
[00:10:58] I was like, well, whatever.
[00:11:01] But man jumping through hoops is crazy.
[00:11:04] When I called my boss about everything, she was like, Oh my gosh,
[00:11:08] I need to order your military apron.
[00:11:12] And I was like, that's not the biggest point of this story, but sure.
[00:11:16] Go ahead.
[00:11:16] Yeah.
[00:11:16] It gets close to this theme.
[00:11:18] Sure.
[00:11:20] Um, yeah, I don't know.
[00:11:23] I was excited, but like, I'm sure we'll find something just as great to do.
[00:11:27] Um, yeah.
[00:11:29] And the place we're going to is a much bigger like town with more options.
[00:11:32] So I think it'll be, I think it'll be more fun, um, being out there.
[00:11:38] Everyone just keeps telling me I need to know more Spanish and I'm like, listen,
[00:11:41] I'll get by.
[00:11:41] Probably.
[00:11:44] Like I speak enough Spanish now that I'm okay at work.
[00:11:47] So I can't imagine it would be much worse.
[00:11:50] Like every time I start, you'll just get more people with like thicker
[00:11:53] accents would be my best guess, but I don't know.
[00:11:56] I don't speak to a lot of people in town.
[00:11:58] And if you just speak a little bit of Spanish, Spanish speaking people are
[00:12:02] so happy it's ridiculous.
[00:12:05] The same thing on last week's episode.
[00:12:08] Like, I just can't like the other day I took this guy's order and I said maybe
[00:12:12] two sentences in Spanish and he was like, you speak Spanish?
[00:12:17] Yes.
[00:12:17] Yes, I do.
[00:12:18] You told the exact same story last week.
[00:12:20] That's what I just said.
[00:12:21] Whatever.
[00:12:22] That's what I just said.
[00:12:24] Well, the only like super interesting new thing I have is today I learned
[00:12:30] what it is called when a cat's hair stands up on their body.
[00:12:34] What do you think they would call that?
[00:12:37] Like, what's your best guess?
[00:12:39] Are you talking like a scientific term or like some common name for it?
[00:12:45] Um, I don't know.
[00:12:48] I would think it has something to do with like alertness or something,
[00:12:51] but I like what it means, but I don't know what they would call it.
[00:12:55] Indeed.
[00:12:55] It does have something to do with alertness.
[00:12:59] It's called pilo erection.
[00:13:03] That makes sense.
[00:13:03] Yeah.
[00:13:05] I read that laughing.
[00:13:08] Also, I'm a little distracted because my allergies have been so fucking bad this week.
[00:13:14] Like at first I thought it was just how hot it's been, but like I'm in
[00:13:16] Doris today and my nose is just tingling, tingling, tingling so much.
[00:13:22] And I hate it.
[00:13:22] It's so annoying.
[00:13:26] What are the doctors that do allergies?
[00:13:28] What are their names?
[00:13:33] You know, like the eye people, the eye people are optometrists
[00:13:36] and the foot people have a name.
[00:13:38] And like what is, what does the allergy people do?
[00:13:42] What is their name?
[00:13:44] Yep.
[00:13:44] Just an allergist, allergist and immunologist.
[00:13:48] Immunologist sounds cooler than allergist.
[00:13:52] Allergist sounds kind of lame.
[00:13:54] It does, but it also makes a lot of sense.
[00:13:58] I feel like you should use the Latin thing for allergies.
[00:14:02] Is there, is there one, you know, like we use opto for optometrist thing.
[00:14:08] Now I have to look it up.
[00:14:09] The same where did they, did they not have allergies in early Latin?
[00:14:17] Okay.
[00:14:17] No, the allergy, the Latin word for allergy is allergy spelled G I E.
[00:14:24] That's dumb.
[00:14:25] Every Latin word should be way different.
[00:14:27] I think they were like, we need to create a new word.
[00:14:29] How about we drop the I E and add a Y.
[00:14:36] I just, I think about it all the time.
[00:14:37] You know, like back then, like they didn't know about allergies.
[00:14:41] They would just be like, oh, you ate this and died.
[00:14:43] Let's see if someone else dies.
[00:14:45] If they eat it.
[00:14:46] I think if you were eating it, you would be like, oh,
[00:14:49] I'm going to eat this and die.
[00:14:51] I think if you were eating olives and you died from it, people would be like, dang,
[00:14:58] that was a bad batch of olives.
[00:15:00] And they'll just eat some other ones.
[00:15:02] And most people won't, you know?
[00:15:04] Well, like for example, did you know people used to think tomatoes were toxic?
[00:15:08] I think so.
[00:15:10] That sounds familiar.
[00:15:11] So tomatoes are a part of the nightshade family, interestingly enough, but they
[00:15:17] used to eat off of like lead plates and tomatoes are acidic.
[00:15:23] So like when tomatoes would like leach onto these lead plates, people would die.
[00:15:27] And they just thought tomatoes were deadly because of it,
[00:15:30] because they didn't know about lead existing.
[00:15:34] I feel like there's a lot of knowledge today about things like that
[00:15:40] that have allowed the stupid population to just grow exponentially.
[00:15:45] You know, like stupid and like not fit for life.
[00:15:51] And so natural selection has been decimated.
[00:15:55] Yeah.
[00:15:55] Like our scientists natural enemy is natural selection for some reason.
[00:16:00] Like, excuse me.
[00:16:04] There is no excuse for you.
[00:16:06] Like if you were allergic to peanuts and everyone in your family is allergic
[00:16:11] to peanuts, you would not have survived through a lot of things.
[00:16:14] If you came in contact with peanuts, they'd be like, oh man, that guy ate that
[00:16:18] thing and he died.
[00:16:19] But how many regions do peanuts grow in naturally?
[00:16:22] No, but you know what I'm saying is it's like an example, right?
[00:16:24] Like, like, did you are there any records in like Middle England of like
[00:16:31] the Middle Ages or Dark Ages where like someone dies of a gluten allergy?
[00:16:36] Because I highly doubt it.
[00:16:37] No, actually, I think gluten allergies are a recent thing because of all the
[00:16:41] shit we do to our food.
[00:16:43] Because have you ever heard like some people will go to countries in Europe and
[00:16:47] their gluten allergies and lactose allergies disappear?
[00:16:51] Yeah, I've had heard a couple of digits.
[00:16:56] Yes.
[00:16:57] Yes is the answer.
[00:17:00] That sounded like a me sense right there.
[00:17:05] But yeah, I've always wondered, like if I went to Europe, would I be able to
[00:17:08] have like dairy milk and have no issues?
[00:17:11] I don't know.
[00:17:16] I don't know, but this one was there's.
[00:17:20] Your language is so good today.
[00:17:22] My language is off today.
[00:17:24] I don't know what's going on.
[00:17:27] Long day.
[00:17:27] Like people used to die of dumb things and we would be like, man,
[00:17:31] don't do that dumb thing.
[00:17:32] Or if they had allergies, we'd be like, man, don't breed with that guy.
[00:17:35] He can't eat tomatoes or whatever it is.
[00:17:40] Are people allergic to corn?
[00:17:43] I don't think you could be allergic to corn, but I'll Google it.
[00:17:46] You're not.
[00:17:46] Are there things that you can't be allergic to?
[00:17:48] I feel like somebody is allergic to like something.
[00:17:51] I feel like everything's an allergy for somebody.
[00:17:53] You know what I mean?
[00:17:54] Like even if it's like one or two people, I feel like someone's allergic.
[00:17:57] I mean, have you ever seen corn allergies are possible, but they are rare.
[00:18:01] Have you seen you be allergic to water?
[00:18:04] Like, have you ever seen the documentaries on that?
[00:18:05] OK, but.
[00:18:06] People who are allergic to things should not continue.
[00:18:11] That's all I'm saying.
[00:18:13] That's kind of fucking rude.
[00:18:15] No, that's natural selection.
[00:18:17] We got people anyway.
[00:18:19] We got too many people anyway.
[00:18:21] All right. We don't need more people.
[00:18:23] I'm not saying that like we should kill all the people.
[00:18:26] I'm not saying we should kill all the people with allergies.
[00:18:28] I'm saying that you have inferior genes and reproducing with said people
[00:18:33] is not a good product of the use of society.
[00:18:36] Yes, but that's the whole point of like, like when you when somebody smells
[00:18:40] good to you, for example, you know, their genes are supposed to be
[00:18:43] compatible with yours or whatever.
[00:18:44] But that's like the whole point of breeding outside your gene pool
[00:18:48] is so that you don't perpetuate things like allergies or like disability.
[00:18:51] Yeah, but I feel like science should be like, oh, we have this thing.
[00:18:55] It makes everyone not lactose intolerant anymore.
[00:18:58] Like we've cured lactose intolerance, right?
[00:19:00] Like that's what science should be doing.
[00:19:02] Instead, science is like we're making this mushroom and it tastes like beef
[00:19:07] because we want to save some cows.
[00:19:09] And you're like, that's cool and all.
[00:19:11] But how does that help me exactly?
[00:19:13] And you're like, well, it's gluten free.
[00:19:16] You know, I call thank goodness.
[00:19:17] I think the whole purpose there is I think the whole purpose there
[00:19:20] is to reduce global warming and like, you know, say,
[00:19:23] you know, I think the whole purpose there is they want a new revenue
[00:19:26] stream for profit and they're like, I don't care.
[00:19:28] That's gluten free and market it.
[00:19:30] Bam. 100% grass fed.
[00:19:32] You know, I guess cool, I guess.
[00:19:33] I don't know.
[00:19:35] I still would not eat mushrooms.
[00:19:38] I would rather die like legitimately if all we could have were mushrooms,
[00:19:42] like the post-apocalyptic world happens and mushrooms were like it.
[00:19:45] I'd rather die.
[00:19:47] Why?
[00:19:48] I don't like mushrooms, but I'd rather eat than just die.
[00:19:52] Maybe it's the neurodivergence in me, but like I physically cannot.
[00:19:56] I'd eat grass and tree bark and bugs.
[00:19:58] Look, you're going to eat things that you're allergic to.
[00:20:02] And try and survive off it, but not things that are edible
[00:20:05] because you just don't like it in your little lizard brain of yours.
[00:20:08] All right. That's why people with allergies should not be continuing.
[00:20:12] That's all I'm saying.
[00:20:16] If it makes you throw up, you ate the wrong mushroom.
[00:20:18] No, like because you're not hungry enough.
[00:20:20] I hate it so much.
[00:20:21] I guess I've never been like starving, starving like I've been.
[00:20:24] I don't think you've ever been hungry enough to overcome
[00:20:28] that level of hate towards a mushroom.
[00:20:30] But I also think something's wrong with my brain, because when I start to greet
[00:20:35] when I become like hungry enough to be starving,
[00:20:37] I'm just like, OK, we'll starve.
[00:20:39] Like it's fine. Who cares?
[00:20:41] I don't need food.
[00:20:43] I don't see how that's a solution.
[00:20:45] It's not a solution.
[00:20:47] But I know how to be hungry for a while.
[00:20:51] I'm sure there's a point.
[00:20:52] Oh, wow.
[00:20:52] I'm sure there's a point where your body is like,
[00:20:54] just eat whatever the fuck you can.
[00:20:56] You know, like if we crash landed somewhere and didn't have food
[00:20:58] for a week, I'd be like, OK, like I'm going to eat that leg.
[00:21:02] A week is not enough time.
[00:21:04] A week would not be enough time.
[00:21:07] I think it would.
[00:21:08] If you don't eat anything for a week,
[00:21:11] excuse me, but for a week, but you still have water,
[00:21:14] you could be all right.
[00:21:15] Yeah, but like lose a lot of fat.
[00:21:17] But eventually you wouldn't have water either, probably. Right.
[00:21:21] Why?
[00:21:23] Like, where would you get it?
[00:21:24] You just said you're on an island fucking scoop up some ocean water.
[00:21:27] I said we crashed somewhere.
[00:21:29] I didn't say where.
[00:21:30] Yeah. You said we crashed on an island.
[00:21:31] I only eat a leg after a week.
[00:21:33] I said crash landed.
[00:21:34] I didn't say island.
[00:21:35] Like, what if we crash in the middle of like the mountains
[00:21:39] and there's all just I mean, if we had snow and then the mountains,
[00:21:42] there's snow melted.
[00:21:43] If there's no snow tap into a tree or a plant, it's a mountain.
[00:21:47] There's water.
[00:21:48] One of my toxic traits is I genuinely think I could survive things
[00:21:51] like that because I've read books.
[00:21:54] Yeah.
[00:21:56] I mean, unless you have a book to start a fire,
[00:21:58] I don't think it's going to be very useful.
[00:22:00] I mean, like carrying a book on survival, like melting snow water or like.
[00:22:06] Tell me, OK, tell me how you're going to drink this snow water.
[00:22:10] You are standing in a field that is
[00:22:13] or in a place whatever with snow nearby.
[00:22:16] How are you going to convert the snow into drinkable water?
[00:22:19] What are the steps?
[00:22:23] I would need something plasticky like a tarp or like something thick,
[00:22:27] like some sort of animal hide or fur or something like that.
[00:22:31] And then you take sticks and you create a little triangle basin
[00:22:35] and then you put the snow in it and you let it melt.
[00:22:38] Now, we wouldn't have iodine or anything like that,
[00:22:41] but I would think drinking a little bit of dirty water
[00:22:43] would be much better than having no water.
[00:22:46] So you have sticks to make a triangle thingy with a tarp
[00:22:51] to let snow melt how exactly?
[00:22:55] Via sunlight, via sunlight,
[00:22:58] you do realize that like the snow on the ground gets hit by sunlight all day.
[00:23:04] And it's so cold that it stays cold and frozen, right?
[00:23:07] That's when it's surrounded by other snow.
[00:23:09] If you put it in a receptacle, then it doesn't do the same thing.
[00:23:14] If you suspend snow on a tarp in the air, it will stay frozen.
[00:23:20] It will not listen.
[00:23:21] It worked in Iceland at barbarians.
[00:23:23] Yeah, it's not as around.
[00:23:25] Also, definitely, if you have the sticks to suspend some snow,
[00:23:30] you should just build a fire and boil the snow.
[00:23:33] OK, but what are we going to build a fire with?
[00:23:34] Like, what if we don't have fire starting tools?
[00:23:37] Hmm. You rub two sticks together long enough, you'll get some fire.
[00:23:42] Or at least that's what OK, that's what everybody says.
[00:23:44] But it is actually really fucking difficult to start a fire
[00:23:47] by rubbing sticks together.
[00:23:49] It depends on how you're rubbing them together.
[00:23:52] How do you rub them together?
[00:23:54] You can build an actual fucking.
[00:24:00] I don't know the fucking official name for it,
[00:24:02] but if you have a little bit of string, you can you can string two sticks
[00:24:06] and a little bit of like kindling, you can start a fire.
[00:24:10] OK, you don't have string. What do you do?
[00:24:12] Hmm. Tear apart a little bit of clothing.
[00:24:16] You know what, though?
[00:24:17] That's why we should get one of those like survival things
[00:24:19] like the the fire starters.
[00:24:22] Like, what are they called?
[00:24:24] Like you can just start a fire with it.
[00:24:26] It'll like spark against its own blow torch.
[00:24:29] Not a blow torch.
[00:24:30] It's like a little tool where you can just start a fire.
[00:24:33] Oh, well, either not a lighter.
[00:24:36] God, let me look it up.
[00:24:38] OK. A match.
[00:24:42] No. Oh, you're talking about flint and steel, then?
[00:24:46] No, it's kind of like that, but it's like it's like a waterproof,
[00:24:52] infinite flint tool.
[00:24:55] I've seen them before for survival.
[00:24:57] Flint and steel, yes.
[00:24:59] Yeah, I guess that's what it is.
[00:25:03] What was the argument there?
[00:25:04] Nothing. I know nothing about survival, Jordan.
[00:25:07] I read books and play video games and stay at home.
[00:25:09] I would not survive.
[00:25:10] Like, what's this corpse on the ground next to this tarp
[00:25:13] that's suspended with snow on it?
[00:25:14] I'm like, I don't know.
[00:25:21] So you've been playing any video games lately?
[00:25:24] No, I really haven't had time.
[00:25:30] Be leaving the country this week.
[00:25:33] That'll be fun.
[00:25:34] Yeah, by the time you hear this episode, we'll be on our honeymoon.
[00:25:38] I think we'll be back, right?
[00:25:40] I don't know.
[00:25:42] Either way, seven days starting on like Wednesday or so.
[00:25:46] I don't know.
[00:25:48] Either way, whatever. Moving on.
[00:25:51] I don't know.
[00:25:53] You're going to hear this episode and we'll be having the time of our lives.
[00:25:55] So enjoy your ears.
[00:25:57] Yeah, OK.
[00:26:00] I've been playing Pokemon Shield.
[00:26:04] That's all I want to do.
[00:26:05] Would you rather have a doctor that comes in like,
[00:26:09] say you're getting bad news, right?
[00:26:13] You don't know what the news you just went in because you're like,
[00:26:15] oh, this is weird.
[00:26:16] I didn't know that there was a bump in this place.
[00:26:20] And they they do tests and what not.
[00:26:22] And the doctor comes in and he's about to give you the news about what it is.
[00:26:26] Right.
[00:26:27] Would you rather the doctor like sit down and be all nice
[00:26:31] and calm and be like, well, it's stage four.
[00:26:35] Or would you rather have them come in and just scream at you as like some jokes?
[00:26:40] I feel like I would want the jokes.
[00:26:43] I don't think I'd want either.
[00:26:44] I think I would just want them to come in, be like, here's the issue.
[00:26:47] Here's what we're going to do for you.
[00:26:48] Do you have any questions?
[00:26:50] Because I've had a doctor do the first thing and be all calm
[00:26:53] and make it sound way less intense than it is.
[00:26:56] And then I was just like, OK, what the fuck does that mean?
[00:26:59] Like what?
[00:27:00] It's like, why are you bringing this up, though?
[00:27:03] You're not dying, are you?
[00:27:06] No, I thought about earlier, I saw a video
[00:27:09] and I feature on a clip where
[00:27:14] the main character gets abducted by aliens and they take his nose.
[00:27:18] I don't know if you've seen this episode.
[00:27:19] I don't think they take they take his nose because they think it's the human
[00:27:23] reproductive organ.
[00:27:25] So they're harvesting noses illegally.
[00:27:27] Right. So he comes back from looking for Bigfoot and he doesn't have a nose.
[00:27:32] And so stop laughing is true.
[00:27:36] And so he comes over and everyone he's like, what?
[00:27:38] What's everyone staring at?
[00:27:40] And the doctor is there right in the camping group of like friends.
[00:27:44] And he goes, let me tell him, I'm good with like bad news or like
[00:27:47] I'm good at giving patients bad news.
[00:27:50] And he grabs him by both his shoulders and he just screams out.
[00:27:54] He goes, Fry, you have no nose.
[00:27:56] Your nose is gone where it is.
[00:27:58] We can't say, but on your face, it is not.
[00:28:02] Maybe I have unless I mean, there's probably a lot of episodes with
[00:28:04] Zoidberg doing that, but.
[00:28:07] Do you say Squidward?
[00:28:09] Zoidberg?
[00:28:10] Who? Zoidberg?
[00:28:13] Is that a name?
[00:28:14] It sounded like you said Squidward.
[00:28:16] Oh, I was like, don't tell me I got Zoidberg wrong.
[00:28:20] I think there's a few episodes where he does stuff like that,
[00:28:22] but that does sound familiar.
[00:28:25] It's so funny.
[00:28:26] I think I think that if it wasn't like a super serious thing,
[00:28:29] I think that's what I want.
[00:28:30] They just come in and be like, you have a cold.
[00:28:32] You need the medicine to get better.
[00:28:34] And I'll be like, oh, sure. All right. My bad.
[00:28:36] No, I think I would just like them to say it very simply
[00:28:39] because I feel like they're either too nice about it
[00:28:42] or they're like too like intense about it.
[00:28:45] Like just come in, state the facts.
[00:28:47] Let me know my options.
[00:28:49] You're boring. That's all I need.
[00:28:51] I am a boring person.
[00:28:53] Like here's your options.
[00:28:54] You can do this or this. Pick one.
[00:28:57] Not like in that tone of voice, motherfucker.
[00:29:00] Get out of my office now.
[00:29:02] I've made you wait half an hour.
[00:29:03] Now I need you to leave quickly so I can stand in this room
[00:29:06] and wait for another half an hour to go into another patient's room.
[00:29:09] Like if they come in, like they should be, hey,
[00:29:11] we got your results back.
[00:29:12] Like it's cancer. It's this.
[00:29:15] I know this is a lot to take in, but like we have some options
[00:29:18] when you're ready to discuss them.
[00:29:20] That'd be so easy.
[00:29:21] When you're ready to discuss them.
[00:29:23] Yeah.
[00:29:23] You know what my doctor did when they found the little cyst thing on my brain?
[00:29:27] He came and he said, we found this on your brain.
[00:29:30] I'm going to send you for more testing. Bye.
[00:29:34] And I was like, what the fuck does that mean?
[00:29:36] It's like if you want to ask questions, weirdo.
[00:29:39] I feel like if you knew the doctor or like was friends with them
[00:29:43] or part of a personal level, then the screaming could work a lot better.
[00:29:46] I think it was just some random person
[00:29:48] yelling that you have covid.
[00:29:49] You'd be like, OK, I know.
[00:29:53] OK, well, I guess if something was wrong with you, how would you tell me?
[00:29:57] If something was wrong with me?
[00:29:59] Mm hmm. Well, then it'd be serious.
[00:30:01] But if something's like if I was your doctor
[00:30:04] and I sit and like I saw something and be like,
[00:30:06] it wouldn't be serious if you were the doctor.
[00:30:09] No, no, that's what I'm saying.
[00:30:11] If I'm giving you bad news about me, I'm not going to joke about it.
[00:30:15] Right? Like if I'm giving you bad news about you, I'd lighthearted it.
[00:30:19] Right? You got to be like, dang.
[00:30:22] Remember how you always wished like when you were a kid
[00:30:24] that you would die soon? Well,
[00:30:29] good news. Dreams can come true.
[00:30:33] Bad news is you have four months left.
[00:30:35] Look at this.
[00:30:36] You want to look at this x ray right here.
[00:30:38] You'll notice that there's a lot of blurry spots.
[00:30:40] That's because I was shaking a lot of drinks going on that day.
[00:30:42] But if you want to look at the MRI, there's a big mass on your brain.
[00:30:47] That one was not me.
[00:30:48] I was not shaking that day.
[00:30:49] And I have to say the best person in that case was my neurologist
[00:30:54] because my doctor didn't tell me shit.
[00:30:56] And then my neurologist came in and he was like,
[00:30:58] I have a picture on my phone if you want to see it.
[00:31:00] Like, and I was like, yeah, I want to see the thing.
[00:31:03] Doctor just didn't know what the hell was going on.
[00:31:05] Like that was the doctor that they were just like, hey,
[00:31:07] we need someone to go talk to this girl.
[00:31:10] And he's like, OK, what's wrong?
[00:31:11] And they were like, we found this.
[00:31:13] And he's like, OK, we'll do more tests.
[00:31:14] And then the neurologist came in and was like, dang, I saw your tests.
[00:31:18] I know what it is because I'm a brain doctor.
[00:31:20] You know what I mean?
[00:31:21] Yeah. No, like my my old GP back in Vegas,
[00:31:25] he's kind of an awkward guy whose bedside manner is terrible.
[00:31:28] But like you say, my mom's life a few times.
[00:31:30] So he was, you know, good his job.
[00:31:32] He just didn't have that, like.
[00:31:34] Customer service is, I guess,
[00:31:36] but the neurologist was great because I was freaking out and he's like, hey,
[00:31:39] it's not actually a problem, but if you want to see a picture of the scan,
[00:31:42] I have it right here on my cell phone and I'll show you.
[00:31:44] And I was like, hell yeah, I want to see the thing in my brain.
[00:31:50] But luckily, I didn't have cancer, so I'm still here.
[00:31:55] Your problem now.
[00:32:00] We're legally married.
[00:32:03] I feel like you'd be do some dumb shit like, hey, good news.
[00:32:06] You're going to be a lot richer soon.
[00:32:07] Bad news. I'm dying.
[00:32:11] Good news. You just walk in one day and be like, what are you doing?
[00:32:14] I'd be updating my life insurance.
[00:32:15] And you'd be like, why?
[00:32:16] I'm like, I don't worry.
[00:32:17] What's your social?
[00:32:20] I need your social right now.
[00:32:22] Yeah, give it to me. I don't have time for this.
[00:32:24] I'm losing days here.
[00:32:26] Go get the whiskey. I'm trying to fill this out.
[00:32:28] I don't. OK, if you were dying, what would you do?
[00:32:32] Like, would you just kind of like die and like live your life normal?
[00:32:35] Or like, would you just die?
[00:32:36] No, no, no, no. Listen, like, would you like
[00:32:38] but would you want to do a bunch of crazy stuff and like go live your life
[00:32:41] and like travel and do stuff before you die?
[00:32:43] What is crazy stuff to you?
[00:32:45] Like are we talking about like going traveling and seeing the world?
[00:32:48] Are we talking about like going downtown and being like, I need heroin, please.
[00:32:51] Like, what are you talking about crazy stuff?
[00:32:53] Would you want to go like skydiving and bungee jumping
[00:32:56] and do a bunch of adrenaline filled things and travel?
[00:32:58] I don't do that stuff now.
[00:32:59] You're just talking and won't do it with me.
[00:33:01] My friend said she'd do it with you.
[00:33:04] Which one? Caitlin.
[00:33:06] Are we good? We go skydiving.
[00:33:07] Oh, yeah, I ain't doing that shit.
[00:33:09] I'll watch though.
[00:33:10] I'll find a plane. I'm going.
[00:33:12] You saw how I reacted on the Tower of Terror.
[00:33:14] If you think I'm going skydiving or bungee jumping, you got me fucked.
[00:33:16] Great. I'm gonna go the first time.
[00:33:20] The first time I think you have to do it like tandem with somebody.
[00:33:24] So I'll do that and then I'll hit her up and be like, let's go.
[00:33:27] Oh my God.
[00:33:28] This is I don't know the name of the story, but have you
[00:33:31] did you hear about that case where the guy went skydiving
[00:33:33] for the first time with his instructor and when they pulled the shoot, it just didn't.
[00:33:39] No, it didn't come out. Yeah, I think so.
[00:33:41] Can you imagine you're with another person and you pull the shoot
[00:33:45] and they're just like, yes, we're both dying.
[00:33:48] The reserve came out at the last second, though.
[00:33:51] I'm pretty sure.
[00:33:52] I don't think they actually died.
[00:33:54] I mean, I think the reserve few different cases, but
[00:33:57] I just I don't want to do that.
[00:33:59] Uh, uh, I can't even hear you say things like that.
[00:34:03] But you are way more likely to die in a car accident on the way to work every day.
[00:34:07] Like the chances are astronomically higher of dying in an accident
[00:34:10] on the way to work.
[00:34:11] That's because I drive every day.
[00:34:13] I don't go and it is.
[00:34:15] No, I'm talking about statistically wise, like the number of drives
[00:34:19] to work versus the number of fucking people that jump out of planes.
[00:34:23] Statistically, but I feel like if you jump out of a plane every day,
[00:34:26] that number would go up with it.
[00:34:28] The number of times you die, if you jump out of the plane every day.
[00:34:31] Likely had to be dying.
[00:34:33] The likelihood, no, you're looking at
[00:34:36] you're not looking at like the likelihood of like you dying on that.
[00:34:40] You're looking at the likelihood of equipment failure
[00:34:42] because equipment failure is the only really reason that you would die
[00:34:45] on skydiving, right?
[00:34:46] But there are so many other reasons that you would die
[00:34:49] if you were just driving your car that you can't control.
[00:34:53] I think I would be much more willing to go bungee jumping
[00:34:56] than skydiving, though.
[00:34:58] Bungee jumping. Why?
[00:34:59] I feel like more people get hurt bungee jumping
[00:35:02] because I feel like it's quicker.
[00:35:04] It's quicker to die. I mean, no, it's quicker.
[00:35:06] Like you bungee jump, you're done.
[00:35:08] It's over relatively quickly.
[00:35:11] When you're skydiving, like that's hundreds and hundreds
[00:35:14] and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of feet that you have to fall.
[00:35:17] How far up are you that you know anything about how high up they go for that?
[00:35:23] I just know I definitely jump like you do.
[00:35:26] But you, not a lot of jumps that are like above that.
[00:35:31] Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds.
[00:35:33] You're practically in space.
[00:35:35] Where does the ionosphere start?
[00:35:38] Anyway, but I just I don't like falling.
[00:35:42] It just like I'm not I'm OK with the height part.
[00:35:45] That part's fine.
[00:35:46] It's the falling part.
[00:35:47] I don't like the way I feel like falling and be relaxing.
[00:35:50] You'd be fine with it. No.
[00:35:53] You've seen me when when have I seen you fall
[00:35:56] the Tower of Terror like dropping.
[00:35:58] That's not that's dropping is very different from falling.
[00:36:02] All right. Very different.
[00:36:03] Yeah, you are being pulled down by a seat that you're strapped to
[00:36:07] as opposed to just falling when you can clearly see the bottom
[00:36:11] and then you pull the chute and you slow down before you get there.
[00:36:14] Like it's it's very different.
[00:36:18] OK, maybe I would try it.
[00:36:20] I don't know. It just doesn't sound very appealing.
[00:36:23] The most intense thing I've done is parasailing.
[00:36:26] Is it parasailing?
[00:36:28] How did that go?
[00:36:30] Well, we went to Turks and Caicos when I was a kid
[00:36:32] and my dad and my sister went together and then me and my mom went together.
[00:36:36] And my dad being the charming guy that he is convinced the instruct
[00:36:39] the guy driving the boat to like drop us down in the water.
[00:36:43] And I was freaking out because I thought a shark was going to get me.
[00:36:47] You OK?
[00:36:49] OK, to be fair, they really should have known
[00:36:51] I have OCD tendencies at a much younger age, much younger.
[00:36:55] I think they would have had to pay attention to you.
[00:36:57] All right. Very.
[00:37:02] Oh, my God. What's wrong?
[00:37:05] Oh, that's so spot on.
[00:37:08] I like I think I can I think I told you about I went to my mom
[00:37:12] convinced I had worms in my poop as a child.
[00:37:15] I like I was convinced I had worms and I made her go into the bathroom
[00:37:20] to like look, she was like, you're fucking crazy.
[00:37:23] No, boy. Yeah, yeah, I'm not doing that.
[00:37:26] Maybe you tell me things like that.
[00:37:28] No, now I know I'm crazy.
[00:37:29] I don't need someone to check for me anymore.
[00:37:32] I check myself.
[00:37:34] I was like, no, mom, like, I swear I have worms.
[00:37:40] That's partially because my uncle had like a bunch of dogs
[00:37:45] he kept outside and they had fucking worms like like
[00:37:48] it was all up in their water, like everything like.
[00:37:51] The same water.
[00:37:53] No, I think I just saw it on the tarp, so it's good.
[00:37:57] But I just think back about things like that when as a kid,
[00:38:00] like I used to stay awake all night in bed, like crying
[00:38:03] because I was one day my sister will leave and my family will die.
[00:38:08] And now I'm like, God, they should have sent you to a doctor earlier.
[00:38:14] You know, they were like, my child is perfectly fine.
[00:38:17] Their child freaking out about every little thing.
[00:38:20] But hey, I made it to adulthood.
[00:38:23] Yeah, you're welcome.
[00:38:27] You think you're the reason I made it to adulthood?
[00:38:30] I'm waiting for the debate on the other side.
[00:38:32] You did help keep me a little sane.
[00:38:37] Yep, I'm only a small part.
[00:38:41] That's what I thought.
[00:38:42] That's why we got married.
[00:38:47] This is the first time I've ever seen a child
[00:38:51] this. What do you think?
[00:38:55] Besides us, because we're a little bit longer and out of craziness.
[00:38:59] But what do you think is an appropriate length of time to be dating someone before
[00:39:07] proposing and or like getting into the engagement stage or like getting married?
[00:39:12] You know, I think for me, like two to three years would be ideal.
[00:39:18] I thought that today was my first day back at work after the wedding, right?
[00:39:23] And so people congratulate me this and that.
[00:39:27] Excuse me. I was talking with one of those guys who I normally don't talk to that much at all.
[00:39:32] But he said congratulations and he was taken over for one of the meetings this morning.
[00:39:36] So I had to like coach him on what to say and this and that because he doesn't he doesn't do those meetings normally.
[00:39:42] Well. Before we had some time before the meeting, but after the coaching was done.
[00:39:49] So I guess it was just time to talk to me about how marriage works.
[00:39:55] And so he was basically he said congratulations, right?
[00:39:59] I was like, oh, thank you. I appreciate it. You know, it's been a lot of fun.
[00:40:03] And then he said, he said, yeah, I'm I was with I actually just broke up with my my girlfriend because she or my last girlfriend.
[00:40:14] I had to break. No, excuse me. He had to break up with his last girlfriend because she was getting crazy and talking about marriage way too soon.
[00:40:23] And I was like, really? And he's like, yeah, she was we'd only been together for like two and a half years.
[00:40:29] And she I never proposed to her, but she bought a dress.
[00:40:34] So I broke it up with her and I was like, oh, OK.
[00:40:38] I think he just found a dress that she really liked and just bought it.
[00:40:42] And from one day to be in a wedding, he said that that's the only things like she's like, oh, yeah, he she bought a dress for her wedding one day.
[00:40:50] But I was like, man, she's thinking about marriage after only like two and a half years.
[00:40:53] That's like a five year mark for me. And I was like, all right.
[00:40:57] Five years. And if that's what you want, like I can see her side of like just buying a dress because I've heard a lot of women do that.
[00:41:03] They find a dress they really love. They're like, I'll keep it.
[00:41:05] You know, it's there for whenever. But I mean, I think like shouldn't they have at least had a conversation about?
[00:41:12] No, I don't know. I don't know.
[00:41:14] I don't know. This wasn't that was the beginning of the conversation and then moved into he said, yeah, and I've been with my current girl for about four years.
[00:41:24] So we're starting to maybe think about marriage, but I'm not at that threshold yet.
[00:41:27] I haven't even looked at her that way. And I'm like, you've been together for four years and you've never even thought about I would see my face right now.
[00:41:35] All right. Sure. Like what?
[00:41:38] Why are you going that long if you don't think they have marriage potential?
[00:41:41] Right. But then the nowhere that was phase two of the story, then we moved on to phase three where he said, yeah, but I don't know.
[00:41:51] It's a difficult time right now because my my first not wife, he's in my first baby mama.
[00:42:00] And I was like, OK, how many does he have?
[00:42:03] No, he said, yeah, my first baby was being a real bitch about the my daughter's quinceanera coming up.
[00:42:13] And he's like, it's 15th birthday. And I was like, I know what it is because she contacted me the other day asking for help with the party.
[00:42:22] And I was like, I don't know where this story is going. But this sure.
[00:42:26] He said, yeah, she she asked me for help with the party. I said, sure, I'd love to help out.
[00:42:31] And she said that she spent eleven thousand dollars on the quinceanera and wants half the money from him.
[00:42:37] And he and he said, no, he can't send half the money for this quinceanera, but he'll send.
[00:42:43] I think he said twenty five hundred. He said, I'll send you twenty five hundred.
[00:42:47] So he sends her the twenty five hundred.
[00:42:49] And then he said, again, because the quinceanera is in like a month.
[00:42:54] He goes, it's like in a month. And she I contact her and I said, hey, can I get an invite?
[00:42:59] Or like how many, you know, like spots can I have from my side of the family to attend the quinceanera of their granddaughter and my daughter?
[00:43:06] You know, and the wife or not the wife, excuse me, the first baby mama.
[00:43:11] Apparently, she told him that twenty five hundred doesn't get him or any of his family a table or a place at the quinceanera.
[00:43:18] I like her. I didn't invite anyone.
[00:43:21] I'm like, yeah, look, even if it's not much, he gave you twenty five hundred dollars and he can't even go to his own daughter's quinceanera.
[00:43:27] I'm like, bro, what is he involved in his daughter's life otherwise?
[00:43:31] I don't know. But if I assume because like they why even reach out to him unless it's just like, hey, I need money for child support, you know.
[00:43:42] But I mean, I see that a quinceanera is like a really big fucking deal and it has been right.
[00:43:49] Well, in a lot of there's a couple parts of it is like the father daughter dances and stuff that are involved in the quinceanera usually that he wanted to be a part of and asked about.
[00:43:58] And she said no. And he's like, what the fuck?
[00:44:01] Like I didn't give you enough money to attend my own daughter's quinceanera.
[00:44:04] Like, what the fuck are you doing? I bet there's some more drama there than.
[00:44:08] No, I bet there's other stuff too.
[00:44:09] I just thought it was funny how he was like, yeah, my first girl, my I guess second girlfriend, they broke up at two and a half years because she had a dress and the current girlfriend.
[00:44:20] It's at four years, but he can't think about marriage yet because he's dealing with his first baby mama and his 15 year old daughter who is a daughter's mother turned 15.
[00:44:29] I'm like, that's a whole mess of drama that you have.
[00:44:32] You have. It sounds like this guy needs to stop dating people, frankly.
[00:44:37] Right. I'm like you've had at least three relationships.
[00:44:40] I'm like good on you for keeping them so long, I guess.
[00:44:42] But I was like, but then he said that and he's like, yeah, so I don't know what I'm going to do.
[00:44:51] I'm going to talk to some in-laws on her side and see if they can get me an invite or something.
[00:44:56] But anyway, congratulations.
[00:44:57] And I was like, thank you again, I guess.
[00:45:00] Like this whole conversation, by the way, was just him talking.
[00:45:04] Like I didn't say a word.
[00:45:05] He just kept going.
[00:45:06] I was like, anyway, it's time for that meeting and he's like, oh yeah, let's go.
[00:45:10] I'm like, yeah.
[00:45:12] So that's the problem with being like approachable, especially if you're just quiet.
[00:45:16] People think they could tell you anything and every fucking thing every day.
[00:45:23] I am so happy that you're not absolutely fucking insane.
[00:45:26] Like I know it's the bare fucking minimum, but like I'm just like, wow, I hear stories about stuff like that.
[00:45:33] And I'm like, damn, Jordan's like, what do you mean like insane?
[00:45:36] Just like his first baby mama, that implies he has a second baby mama.
[00:45:41] Like how many times do you have to make the same mistake before you're like, OK, maybe I should take a break from these relationships or maybe I shouldn't get these women pregnant.
[00:45:48] Maybe he's like taking a break from a relationship and then got had a one night stand.
[00:45:52] Now he's got a kid.
[00:45:53] You know, you've just given him the advice to get a kid.
[00:45:56] That's what you've done.
[00:45:57] No. Yeah.
[00:45:59] Some people shouldn't have children.
[00:46:01] That's not what you said.
[00:46:03] You said he should take a break from relationships.
[00:46:06] Well, yeah, especially if he's been like he if he thinks it's crazy to start talking about marriage after two to four years.
[00:46:12] Like I understand if you don't want to get married, but at that point you should be comfortable talking about like, hey, where do we want this to go?
[00:46:18] Like, is that something you see in your future?
[00:46:20] Like if not cool, if yes, then I'm good to wait.
[00:46:23] But like it just interesting guy, interesting guy.
[00:46:28] I don't know.
[00:46:31] I met him for the first time like three weeks ago.
[00:46:33] So it's like guys just know you can use condoms.
[00:46:41] Right.
[00:46:44] That's what that's one thing that gets me those not saying your coworkers like this.
[00:46:47] But these types of guys are usually kind of like, well, she wasn't on birth control.
[00:46:51] OK, motherfucker, it takes two to tango.
[00:46:54] Like you're telling me there was nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening.
[00:46:58] OK, but that's just my opinion.
[00:47:05] OK, so I had therapy this morning and we're doing like the EMDR therapy, which like in some of the sessions they make you watch something that goes like from side to side and then like has a sound.
[00:47:18] And they talk about like dramatic memories or things that you're dealing with.
[00:47:22] My therapist kept asking me, like, oh, how do you feel about this?
[00:47:27] Like, what are you feeling?
[00:47:28] And I was like, I don't know.
[00:47:31] Like my feelings haven't changed from the last time you asked.
[00:47:33] And at one point I told her, I was like, I don't know.
[00:47:36] Like it just I feel the same.
[00:47:38] And she's like, there's no wrong answers.
[00:47:40] And I was like, why do I feel like there's a wrong answer?
[00:47:42] Why do I feel like I'm always a different and there's not a wrong answer.
[00:47:45] There's not a wrong answer.
[00:47:46] There's just one you get judged for.
[00:47:48] Like, what do you think of that sound?
[00:47:49] But it sounds like somebody getting murdered and they're like, that was definitely the sound of a kitten.
[00:47:53] But OK, I actually I love my therapist because she goes and she shows me all the different sounds.
[00:47:58] There's like different ones you could do for when it was hitting each side of the screen.
[00:48:01] And then she goes, now tell me what you think about this sound.
[00:48:04] And then she played it and I was like, I actually hate that.
[00:48:07] And she goes, I know, right.
[00:48:08] It's terrible.
[00:48:09] Why did they include this?
[00:48:14] I was like, I don't know, girl, but let's not do that one.
[00:48:17] The one we ended up going with was like a ping pong ball sound.
[00:48:22] And then she asked me at one point, like, how would I thought about it?
[00:48:25] I was like, I don't know.
[00:48:26] I just like repetitive sounds.
[00:48:27] So this is like fun for me.
[00:48:30] Oh, boy.
[00:48:32] She also asked me about my birth.
[00:48:34] She's like, was your birth normal?
[00:48:36] And I was like, I think so.
[00:48:38] Besides the fact that I was an unnecessary should have been like, I don't know.
[00:48:42] I've only been through one, so I don't know.
[00:48:45] I mean, besides the fact that I was like an un like a I don't know what the word is, like an unnormally.
[00:48:51] Incredibly.
[00:48:52] What?
[00:48:53] Unnormally quiet child.
[00:48:55] Like when I was born, I just opened my eyes and I was like, I'm here.
[00:48:59] And my mom said they had to like thank me to make me cry because I guess they worry about your lungs or something.
[00:49:04] But I was.
[00:49:05] Nothing's changed.
[00:49:06] Okay.
[00:49:12] What's wrong?
[00:49:15] I wasn't expecting that.
[00:49:17] Okay.
[00:49:24] And I was like, I did learn to like read and speak early and all that sort of stuff.
[00:49:28] But I think I was pretty normal other than that.
[00:49:31] Yeah, we all have to read like really quickly.
[00:49:35] That way we can tell people there's worms in the pool.
[00:49:41] Come check.
[00:49:43] God.
[00:49:44] And I read so much like I read like kids stuff, of course, but then I would also read like ancient Egyptian like textbooks as a kid.
[00:49:52] They really should have known there was something wrong with me earlier.
[00:49:54] Like who does that?
[00:49:58] I don't know.
[00:49:59] I still find it funny that you're just like, yeah, when we can have kids that will watch scary movies with us when they're like three.
[00:50:05] And I'm like, no, we won't.
[00:50:07] What are you talking about?
[00:50:09] I didn't even think about that until you brought it up, though.
[00:50:12] Like I just thought it was completely normal.
[00:50:14] Like, that's fine.
[00:50:15] Yeah.
[00:50:16] And yeah, it's fine to watch a scary movie with your parents and then not be able to sleep for a few nights.
[00:50:22] Perfectly fine.
[00:50:24] Yeah, I did end up like lopping the head off of like half my dolls as a kid.
[00:50:31] I didn't want them to come to life and try to kill me.
[00:50:36] Okay, like weird.
[00:50:38] But yeah, don't let your kids watch scary movies until they're like 13 because apparently it's traumatizing or something.
[00:50:44] Almost as if there's like an age rating on most movies.
[00:50:48] I wonder what that's for.
[00:50:50] My family definitely did not adhere to that.
[00:50:54] How much do you think that guy gets paid?
[00:51:00] The guys who sit and watch entire movies and then put ratings on them, like the PG-13?
[00:51:08] I don't think it's like a singular guy.
[00:51:10] Like, I think they show it to a test audience and like gauge their reaction.
[00:51:13] No, no, there's standards.
[00:51:15] Like they have set standards for each, like what categories they're in.
[00:51:18] But someone has to watch it that knows the standards in order to categorize them.
[00:51:22] And it may be a group of people instead of one person.
[00:51:27] But still some people at that agency have to be the ones to watch the movie and give a rating.
[00:51:34] So like how much do they get paid?
[00:51:36] Probably not a lot.
[00:51:38] Probably not a lot because they're probably like, oh, you get to watch these movies.
[00:51:42] That's like the perk, you know?
[00:51:44] I'm going to look it up.
[00:51:46] How much do movie ratings get paid?
[00:51:49] It just brings up movie critics.
[00:51:53] I know like it's what, like if you drop an F-bomb, like that's like an automatic like rated PG-13.
[00:52:02] And if you drop more than two, it's like rated R.
[00:52:05] Yeah.
[00:52:07] I can't find anything specific about PG-13.
[00:52:10] What are they?
[00:52:12] Hold on.
[00:52:14] I don't know, it just keeps bringing up film critics for me.
[00:52:16] Yeah, that's what I keep getting too.
[00:52:22] Who makes these?
[00:52:30] The MPA, is that who makes them?
[00:52:37] In America probably.
[00:52:40] It's different in different countries.
[00:52:42] Like here in America, if you show a titty, oh no, children can't handle that.
[00:52:46] They can handle bombs.
[00:52:49] Motion picture association.
[00:52:52] We're going to get to the bottom of this, now I need to know.
[00:52:55] I've literally never thought of this before, but thank you for making me think about it and obsess over it.
[00:53:04] I just saw a meme, sorry, while you're looking this up.
[00:53:06] It says polyamory, but it's because you need three incomes to survive now.
[00:53:11] Okay, hold on, hold on.
[00:53:13] Well, how is that helpful?
[00:53:15] What does it say?
[00:53:17] Okay, production assistant.
[00:53:24] I don't know.
[00:53:26] So this is the motion picture association, jobs by salary.
[00:53:31] An assistant controller makes an average of $105,000 a year.
[00:53:37] A digital administrator makes an average of $78,000 a year.
[00:53:42] Production assistant or advertising and promotion makes an average of $32,000 a year.
[00:53:48] And senior project manager of operations makes an average of $86,000.
[00:53:53] I don't know which group of those rates the films though.
[00:54:02] Hmm.
[00:54:05] This is a very complicated subject apparently.
[00:54:08] Okay, as of April 2024, the average salary for a motion picture association employee in the United States is $137,858.
[00:54:19] What? Repeat that number.
[00:54:21] Yeah, the average salary for the MPAA is $137,858 a year or $66 per hour.
[00:54:32] But sure, $15 an hour is asking too much.
[00:54:35] The majority of salaries range from $102,000 to $170,000 at the 75th percentile and above the 90th percentile in the company is at $208,000 a year or above.
[00:54:51] Damn, I'm in the wrong degree field.
[00:54:56] So, the lowest earners at the MPAA it looks like earn about $100,000 a year with an average hourly wage of $49.
[00:55:09] Shit, all rate stuff.
[00:55:11] You said probably not a lot.
[00:55:13] I'm like, I don't know.
[00:55:14] That makes some pretty good money I would assume, but I don't know how you get into that field.
[00:55:19] I just don't think that's fair.
[00:55:23] Watch this movie. Tell me what you think.
[00:55:25] Okay, but I feel like you have to watch the movie.
[00:55:28] Watch the movie.
[00:55:29] Count how many F bombs there are and you're like, can I just control F the script?
[00:55:33] What are we doing here?
[00:55:35] Yeah, I'm sure the good ones have like, you know, like how you used to have your shortcuts when you were doing the road safe stuff.
[00:55:42] They probably have things like that where they're like, oh, this happened.
[00:55:44] This happened.
[00:55:46] Yeah.
[00:55:48] All right, well I got to go take some medicine and get packing.
[00:55:51] So that's going to do it for me this week.
[00:55:53] Ripley is going to keep talking to you for another 10 to 15 minutes.
[00:55:56] Oh wow.
[00:55:58] She just backed out of that agreement.
[00:55:59] She doesn't like you guys anymore.
[00:56:01] We didn't have an agreement?
[00:56:03] I'm tired.
[00:56:04] Okay, I want to play video again.
[00:56:08] But that's fine because Ripley will do the outro anyway.
[00:56:10] Go for it.
[00:56:12] Well, this has been yet another episode of Mindless Fraddle.
[00:56:14] Thank you guys for listening.
[00:56:16] We appreciate you being here.
[00:56:18] If you like what your ears heard, you should give us a follow on wherever you like to listen to your podcasts and maybe on like TikTok and Twitter too.
[00:56:26] I promise after the honeymoon, I'll be posting more on there regularly.
[00:56:29] So thank you for being patient with me because I'm trash.
[00:56:32] That's Jordan.
[00:56:33] I'm Ripley and we'll see you next time.
[00:56:36] Goodbye.
[00:56:44] Bye.