Mindless Star Crabs

[00:00:10] Well, do the thing. Do the thing. And that's it. Goodbye. And that's the end of the episode. Hi there. Welcome back to another episode of Mindless Prattle. Is it not plugged in all the way? Would you not worry about what I'm doing? Does it concern you? Does it concern you? You always concern me. Everything concerns you. Don't act like I'm special. Try again.

[00:00:40] Hi. Welcome back to Mindless Prattle. My name is Ripley. That is Jordon and we're your hosts. We're ready to talk to you about anything and everything. And it's been a few weeks since we I don't know about everything. I think your claims are inaccurate. What do you mean? Like I don't believe that you and I are prepared for like quantum geometry. Is that a thing? See, I don't know either. I was like I've only heard of quantum physics. I have not heard of quantum geometry.

[00:01:11] What are you doing? Why are you always concerned with what I'm doing? Because why are you always messing with stuff in the middle of the recording? Middle of the road of the fishing. So upset. Shut up. Mm-hmm. So it's been a few weeks since we recorded. We already told you guys we were recording a bunch in the middle of the last episode. And we are finally back. And Jordan has new eyes.

[00:01:41] Tell us all about your special eyes, Jordan. I gave some people some money and then they cut open my eye and shot it with a laser. And then they closed my eye and said, good luck. And then my eye burned from the laser. So I took a nap. It burned him a lot. And then I woke up from the nap and I could see things that were further away. And now my vision is adjusting. So half things are blurry, half things are not.

[00:02:10] He just keeps reading random things like, yes, I know what that says. And it's pretty fun. I like it. I know lots of words. Also, I just realized that my opera is set to Celsius. Why? I don't know. I mean, I feel like you said it to that, if anything. It was just like, oh, it's 26 Celsius outside. And I was like, huh. It's kind of fun to know things like that, right?

[00:02:40] To know things like that? Yeah. I suppose. You know, I just don't... Never think about Celsius. Sometimes I do think about Kelvins. Kelvin? Yeah. Why wouldn't I? I don't know. Do you have anything else you want to say about your eyes, though? No, I mean, it was... I got...

[00:03:09] So I got LASIK done. Oh, yeah. I guess we should talk in real terms. Yeah, I got LASIK done yesterday. And it has been great so far after the pain went away. During the pain, it felt like my eyes were melting for a bit there. And because we were so far away from the apartment, I definitely did not have anywhere to sleep or nap.

[00:03:37] So they just gave me a chair and a dark room and they were like, we'll just put you in here. Yeah. And that's where I slept for a while. But yeah. I was out fishing the other day. It started raining. It was from the sky. Where is the story going?

[00:04:07] And so, well, I saw the people I was with. They were like, oh, yeah, hopefully it doesn't rain. And I knew what they meant is because when it rains and there's thunder and storms, it's like going out on a boat is not ideal because the water is really choppy and stuff. But then I was like, do the fish like the rain? Do they know about it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they do. I think I've looked it up before. Do you?

[00:04:36] Yeah, because it's the type of thing I've thought about before. Or maybe it's cows. I think I looked up, do cows like it when it rains? That's very different. Because if cows like rain, that's because it cools them down. But if fish like rain, that's like if you were sitting at home and someone just started slowly building your roof higher.

[00:05:06] It's different. I feel like there has to be a better analogy than that, right? Why? I mean, you're living in like a I can't go above this line. And then it gets taller when water falls from the sky. That's like someone pulling your roof up. Well, I don't think fish would have the concept of rain. Like if they're the fish that can only go below the water. Like I think they probably would just conceive. What do you mean the fish that can only? Are you talking about like walking fish? What are you talking about?

[00:05:35] There's fish that come up to the surface and like look at stuff or they like to breathe a little air. And then there's like, you know, jumping fish, things like that. A lot of fish that can't breathe air come up to the surface to eat bugs that are drinking the water. But I think that they don't really perceive rain the same way we do. That's why I asked, do fish like rain? I don't think so.

[00:06:02] I think no, because if you were like a fish looking at the water and you were like, oh, I'm looking for little tiny displacements so I can see where the bugs land to eat it. But then there was rain everywhere. You wouldn't be able to see the bugs. You'd be so confused. You'd be like, what's happening right now? Why are there so many? Too many bugs. Okay.

[00:06:27] Ever since we were looking for your family's birthday gift, I just want video game vinyl records. Oh, yeah. Like I keep getting ads for them and I just, I want some, I want some. That's all. Oh my, and I think I told you, I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast. I got so excited because the Alien Isolation 2, they released like a 10 second teaser trailer. Oh, you talked to me about it, but I don't think it was on here.

[00:06:57] There was like really nothing happened, but it was so cool. Alien Isolation was the game where like IGN or somebody rated it like 4 out of 10. And then they basically reviewed it 4 out of 10 because they said that it was hard to play. Okay. Well, one, it really pissed off fans of the game because the person they had review it doesn't

[00:07:26] like horror games first off. Like he's not like a horror gamer. It's like, I think they said he plays like Call of Duty or something typically. Like it's not his type of game. I mean, even if I've only played Call of Duty, I feel like I could still be okay with it. Also, the lights in here are way too bright for my eyes. So I play on sunglasses. No, it looks better for the cameras. So I really love Alien Isolation, obviously. Like I'm a huge fan, but I just think it's a great horror game.

[00:07:54] That's why she's got a Xenomorph tattoo on her butt. What? I wanted to get a Xenomorph tattoo and you said I couldn't. Well, why is it on your butt then? It was going to be on my butt. It's on there now. I don't have one. You have no proof of that. Yeah. No, I said I wanted one and Jordan said he didn't want to stare at a Xenomorph all the time. Just so you know. But they have an Alien Isolation vinyl that I would like. It's on the back. What is that though?

[00:08:23] Just horror noises down the hallway? No, there's like, it's some really beautiful instrumental music they have. Intramural. Like I used to have one of them as my ringtone because it's like whimsical space music. You know, like the da da da da sound. How do you spell vinyls? Violence? Yeah, like I don't know how to spell violence. Violence? Anyway.

[00:08:55] I don't know where you were going with that. But yeah, so just I would, I'm going to put that on like my birthday wish list. That's cool. And speaking of species evolution, you know how a while back, I think we talked about it on the podcast. We may have, but it was a study that basically is showing that a lot of species are evolving towards crab. Yeah. Or crab shape.

[00:09:25] Well, this caught my eye the other day because Opera GX, if you don't have it, right? It's a fun browser. And it has a section where it has like upcoming video games and other, you know, free video games, all this fun stuff on their, what, GX corner. And I saw this pop up the other day while we were on vacation looking at that corner for games.

[00:09:51] It's called Everything is Crab, the evolution, the animal evolution roguelike. I feel like I saw that on like Games Pass or something. It's, and it's, it's just, everything is crab. Everything is crab. I just think that's so fun. That it reminded me of that. That nature is like our perfect, our perfect form is crab.

[00:10:12] Choose from 125 different evolutions and specializations for unique creature combinations in every run and adapt to survive the natural curve in order to become crab. Speaking of adaptation, Subnautica 2 came out. Are we done with crabs? Well, I mean, it goes along with crabs. Whatever. I'm loving it. Okay.

[00:10:39] Like, I don't know what else to say. Yeah. All right. Good. It really, I think it's like the natural progression of the first game. It's, you know, better graphics. My computer makes it look so good. Thanks, babe. Appreciate you buying that for me. 10 out of 10. And I really like the story so far and it's early access, but I feel like they have a lot more in this early access than they did in the first one.

[00:11:08] Like, they were very prepared for this launch, I think. But maybe it's because it's been delayed for such a long time that they were like, you know, they've had a lot more time to do hot fixes and things before giving or bug fixes, not hot fixes. Yeah. Yeah. Then just like putting it out there and having to do it at the same time. But I'm having a great time not getting eaten by giant leviathans with you. Yeah. That thing is scary.

[00:11:38] Yeah. I'm saying. There's like a giant Cthulhu and every time the music comes on for it, I'm like, hey, you're the only one that ran into it. I still don't know where it came from. It wasn't behind me. It like appeared from like the right out of nowhere. And I was like, you're a giant creature. How did you sneak up on me? But the music started playing like right when it grabbed me and it let me go.

[00:12:04] And I was like, OK, I'm going to keep going and I'm not going to question it because I'm scared. Yeah. No, I'm on board with a lot of the other players at this point, though. My biggest complaint is that the creatures are so aggressive and there is no way to not even like kill them. Just no way to fight back in a decent way that makes it fun to try and get resources in their like environment. And it's like they're so annoying. And for what? Yeah.

[00:12:32] I'm glad they don't do like a ton of damage like the the spike fish. Mm hmm. Realistically, I think probably four or five of those spikes should kill you in a normal balanced game. In this one, it takes, I think, I don't know. Like you can you can tank a few of the hits, which thank goodness for because otherwise you would die so quickly because they shoot so fast from so far away. And you're like, I'm just trying to get some resources.

[00:13:00] Apparently you can parry them with the multi tool. With the spikes? Yeah. Can you kill the things with it? Oh, not. You can't kill them, but you can just like parry them away. Oh, thank goodness. That's what I want to spend my time doing. Playing baseball underwater with spiky eel because he was mad that I try and take his titanium. But I'm really loving it. Definitely going to play some more later. I thought I had played a lot of hours.

[00:13:30] No, usually not. I don't know. Usually you unless it's like a real in-depth game. You usually play a few hours a day, which for how busy we are is a decent amount. But compared to like some people who like take a day off in order to play a game and play, you know, 19, 20 hours on their first day. I don't think we're that bad at all. Like you and I, I think you have, I think 17 hours.

[00:14:00] I've got, I want to say like 10 or 11. I would play a lot more like, and even if I really, really loved it and I do like, I might take a day off if, and I'm sure if I was like, I really want to play all day. You'd be like, cool. Like, so long as you get all your shit done tomorrow, we're good. But as long as you plan it out and not just be like, oh, you know what? I'm going to sledge out on the couch and just play games for 18 hours. I can't marathon games like that anymore. I need to stand up and walk around.

[00:14:28] Sometimes it's okay because I'm like on the same page and we're done playing. And then there's sometimes where I, I want to, and I'm just like, but we're only an hour four. And you're like, yeah, it's four hours. And I was like, but we're not even a quarter of the way done. And like, there's sometimes I feel upset about it. Yeah. About you wanting to leave. And I'm like, but I won't play. And I'm like, you can keep playing. Like, it doesn't bother me. But I just, I need to take like at least like a 10 minute break, you know, like,

[00:14:58] to just stop looking at the screen or just stand up and walk around. There are some people who game and never stand up or stretch or anything. And I don't understand how you do that. Because I'm moving all the time. When I was living in a hotel for 18 months, I had to set timers for every like 30 to 40 minutes. And I would just stand up, like do a few laps around like the parking lot of the hotel and then come back in, either do, you know, quick like push-ups or sit-ups or something just

[00:15:25] to get my heart rate going and like actually walk around and exercise and then go back into a game. I'm just thinking about what a great thumbnail I'm going to have with you in these glasses. I'm telling you, you want a decent like regular episode? Because six, seven minutes ago, my eyes were hurting. I was like, I'm about to end this episode at eight minutes. Do you want to just take a break today and then we can do it some other time? No, that's why I got the glasses. You got to listen. You're not a good listener. I thought you were saying it's worse.

[00:15:52] You got two headphones on and you ain't listening. So I was driving back from school. I had some training a few weeks ago. So I don't know. And I was driving at night and I saw, I was going through, I think it was a national park or a state park or something like that. And I saw a lot of stars out and I saw it, you know, while I was in school too, because we were out in the middle of the woods.

[00:16:22] And I was thinking about it and I was like, this is a good question. This is a good question for you. So I'm going to pose this question. Okay. And you have about eight seconds to think about it. Oh God. Otherwise there's just too much free time in the episode. So, okay. So which, which ancestor star theory do you subscribe to? What does that mean? Like if you ever watched the Croods, right?

[00:16:51] They thought that the sun went across the sky and it came to rest with all the stars. Okay. And there's, I'm just going off of cartoons because they're easier to understand for my small brain. And there was, oh man, what was the other? There was a few that was like all the great warriors are, each of the stars are a great warrior. Like Shrek has a couple up there. Shrek, Shrek's theory was like all the great ogres are up there. Right.

[00:17:20] So I figured our ancestors had to have like some theory about what the stars were. So I was just didn't know if you had one of those theories that you like personally were like, yeah, this is the one that makes most sense. Have you ever thought about it? Not like that. But I think like if I didn't know what stars were, I might think that they were like souls or something, you know? Yeah, I could see that.

[00:17:47] Or like, did I ever make you watch the movie Stardust? I think you gave me a synopsis of it. I don't think I've seen it. I love that movie. We should watch it. It's great. It's got like, it kind of gives Princess Bride almost. Yeah. Like a fun adventure, but there's also some romance. But in it, one of the characters is a fallen star.

[00:18:10] Like she shoots to the earth and it's like the journey of her trying to basically not get murdered. But great movie. We should watch it later. But I think I would have thought they were like stars, not stars, like souls or maybe angels. Like I feel like if I saw like the moon and the stars and like a galaxy or an aurora, I would be like, okay, that is the heavens, you know?

[00:18:40] I got you. Yeah. Which is funny because like, did you want to tell us your theory first? Before I get lost? No, you're good. I'm fine. Because I was going to bring that up today. I think it's so cool that like when you look at different cells and parts of the human body that they look like different things in space. Like what?

[00:19:07] Like the iris looks a lot like different constellations or different. What's the word? Like galaxies or the same thing with like brain cells and stuff. Like they look like certain types of like space things. I'm not well versed in the space words, but. Yeah. It's kind of like how mitochondria look like the powerhouse. Yeah.

[00:19:36] But, you know, I see the pictures and I'm like, wow, like that looks like a heart or like that looks like an iris. And I just think it's really cool that there's parts of the universe inside of us. Why? Do you have a theory? Hmm. Do you have a theory? I liked the sun's coming to rest up in the sky. I like that one. I think it's simple. I think it made sense. It was nice to think about.

[00:20:04] Like all the sun's come across our sky and then they go to rest up there in the heavens. It is cute. You like, do you know what a whale fall is? Yeah. I was thinking that would be such a cool concept for like a book, like a dragon fall or something. I'm wondering if it's, it probably already exists. So for people who don't know what a whale fall is, it's not a waterfall made of whales. It's not like Sharknado. It's not happy. It's pretty happy. I guess for some things. For lots of things. For like most of nature.

[00:20:35] Anyway. But he's saying. A whale fall is when whales, they don't live forever. No. So they die. And then they go. There's some people getting out an education right now. Yeah. Anyway, whales, after the gases in their bodies like explode, whales fall to the bottom of

[00:21:02] the ocean where they are picked apart by first, it's like apex scavengers, like your, your sharks and like big fish and things like that. And then crabs come and eat the crabs and crustaceans eat like the flesh off the bones and the bones themselves and some of it. And then bacteria come and they eat the bones. And it's called whale fall because it's a, usually a huge gathering of species that normally,

[00:21:29] you know, are scavenging for food and they can all come to one place to get that food from the dead whale. Yeah. But I think that like a book about that, but like a mythical creature would be fun. Yeah. Griffin fall. That sounds good. Kind of sounds like a video game. It's close to Griffin. Maybe it's because I've heard a lot of things called fall lately, like Adam fall. Yeah. It's close to a, it's close to a certain door from a certain wart.

[00:21:58] So it's a Gryffindor and Hogwarts, but it's fine. Oh, oh. We'll get there. You're so good at everything. I don't believe that. Much more than I am. But LASIK, Subnautica, what a week. Oh, and I, you know, we did go on vacation. That was fun. Yep.

[00:22:24] We got back from, uh, from Florida, went parasailing. Okay. And see, parasailing is what I mean. Like, I'm not afraid of heights. I just. Who said you were afraid of heights? You did. Because I'm afraid of falling. And you were like, that means you're afraid of heights. And I'm like, no, I'm not afraid of heights. Like, I'm, it's very different fears to me. Like, parasailing, I'm like, it's great being up high. It's fun being up here. But if I were just drop straight down without the boat going down. It's the same thing. That'd be different.

[00:22:54] You're falling with a parachute. But that's from a plane. Which the only difference is the height. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Mm-hmm. So, logically, if you're not afraid of coming down with the parachute, just how high you are when you start falling with the parachute, then the fear is the height. I do not trust myself to pull a parachute. That's what, what?

[00:23:24] And I don't want to go with an instructor. I mean, you have to go with an instructor, like, the first time. I don't want to be strapped to somebody. I don't know. Too bad. So, I don't want to go. You're going to go. Why? So that you can go by yourself. I don't want to go by myself. Because she's afraid of heights. I just don't want to do it. But our lifelong dreams are different. You remember how I was on the Tower of Terror ride?

[00:23:54] There was no parachute. Oh, my God. Come on. Very different. It was safer, I would venture, than a parachute. I feel like more people have been injured from roller coasters than skydiving. Do you think so? I think so. I've got to find some vibes. Some vibes. What's the word? Research? No. Studies? Statistics, I guess? Statistics would be good.

[00:24:19] I also think more people have gone on, you know, amusement park rides. But let me see. Our amusement park rides. Actually, we'll know it later down. Roller coasters or skydiving. More safe. Let's see.

[00:24:48] Statistically, skydiving is considered safer than roller coasters. Wow. 10 to 20 people die skydiving each year. Because millions of jumps take place, the overall fatality rate is extremely low. One death per 350,000 jumps. But what if I'm not one? Oh, boy. What if you're that 10? I think that every time we fly, actually, too. No. Driving a car, way more dangerous. No, I know.

[00:25:16] But I'm like, you know, you see all these stories lately and it's like, oh, my God. What if the air traffic controller is really tired and like something happens, you know? He's really tired. I mean, being tired, that's a concern. And this is why I got diagnosed with OCD. Because I'm constantly like, what if this? What if this? What if this? What if this? What if this? What if this? See, but you won't even have time for all that when you're falling. It solves so many problems. So many. Like what?

[00:25:46] Overthinking. Not being skydiving. Not being skydiving. Because I don't want to skydive. Well, you can go with somebody. It'll be the instructor, but you can go with somebody. I don't want to. But we will. You can't make me. Yeah. I will not sign the consent forms. I have a video to show you after this. Yeah? What is it?

[00:26:13] So it's an old Achievement Hunter video about skydiving. It's amazing. And it follows a similar thing where this guy doesn't want to go skydiving and basically gets kidnapped to go skydiving. Mm-hmm. And I can't remember. I don't want to spoil it for you, but it's pretty funny. We'll watch it after this. Okay. It's not skydiving. It's skydiving. What? What?

[00:26:42] What am I looking at? I said I'll show it to you after this. Yeah. And then I thought you said, look at it, look at it. And I was like. No. Those are the other voices in your head. You guys, I've been hearing shit today, and I don't know what's going on. Dude, I've been. So I have to take these like medicated eye drops, and every time I use them, like it alters the way I taste things. There's just a taste in the back of my throat that's terrible right now.

[00:27:11] Yeah, it's got to be draining out through your sinuses. I'm sorry. That sucks. It tastes terrible. That's why I hate taking Tamiflu because it does the same thing to me, but it also like makes me throw up, and I'm like there's no point in taking this. All right. Take us out of here. Well, this has been an episode of Mindless Prattle, the show where Jordan has good vision again. I hope you liked what you heard. I'm Ripley. That's Jordan, and we will see you next time. Goodbye.