Mindless Thiccness

[00:00:11] So you say you got a little whoopee in your step, huh?

[00:00:14] A little whoopee? What does that mean?

[00:00:18] What did I say?

[00:00:19] You said a little whoopee.

[00:00:20] Yeah.

[00:00:21] What does that mean?

[00:00:22] What does what mean?

[00:00:23] What does having a little whoopee in your step mean?

[00:00:26] You got a little whoopee in your step?

[00:00:28] Did you see that? You are very close to your mic this week. Normally you're too far away this week. You're like right up next to it so everything you can see.

[00:00:37] How has your week been?

[00:00:39] Just back up a little bit. That was way.

[00:00:42] But okay.

[00:00:44] So?

[00:00:45] So what?

[00:00:46] You got close?

[00:00:48] Bro, look. Your mic level is hitting red because of how close you are to the mic.

[00:00:53] Like you recorded to do the auto gain so far back and then now you're like jumping on the mic trying to deep throw that bitch.

[00:01:01] You know I don't deep throw anything.

[00:01:03] I know you're trying to get the mic in there.

[00:01:06] Don't worry. Your hand can fit around this one.

[00:01:10] At least one of them.

[00:01:12] Well that would have been a good segue into your thing but never mind.

[00:01:15] That's cool.

[00:01:16] We'll just leave the audience not knowing what we're talking about.

[00:01:20] So there's this thing in romance novels guys.

[00:01:23] Audience.

[00:01:25] Audience.

[00:01:26] Where people or especially like dark romance or monster romance and stuff like that.

[00:01:34] They will always proclaim the main male protagonist dick is so big that you can't fit a hand around it.

[00:01:45] And I told Jordan that a lot of people on the internet make fun of it because everybody's like what the fuck are you talking about miss deep dish pussy you know like type of thing.

[00:01:55] So I think it's really funny.

[00:01:57] So I think it's really funny.

[00:01:57] But now every time I read a book I can't think of anything else other than like no.

[00:02:02] No.

[00:02:04] Like just input your own details.

[00:02:06] Fuck everything else.

[00:02:08] How would you describe it then?

[00:02:10] Like you can't use that it's too big to put your hand around.

[00:02:14] So what are you going with?

[00:02:15] Like oh my gosh.

[00:02:17] It's like the size of an energy drink can.

[00:02:19] Like I don't know.

[00:02:20] You don't need.

[00:02:21] I feel like you don't even need to describe the size of something like that.

[00:02:25] You know like you can just say a thick hard cut.

[00:02:28] You don't have to be like it was six and a half point seven inches long and two inches wide.

[00:02:34] You can be thick and hard and also only be like an inch long.

[00:02:37] All right.

[00:02:37] You got it.

[00:02:37] Yeah.

[00:02:38] But like you can also add in the word long.

[00:02:40] But I'm just saying like what did you say?

[00:02:43] No.

[00:02:44] Go on.

[00:02:45] But you know like describe penises to me please.

[00:02:48] But you know like the audience or the person that's reading it will kind of fill in their own details.

[00:02:52] You don't have to be super specific about something like that because everybody's going to think of something different.

[00:02:57] Everybody's got dicks in mind.

[00:02:58] Yeah.

[00:02:58] Or worse they'll make fun of you for the rest of your life.

[00:03:02] Because they don't want your dick or?

[00:03:04] I don't have a dick.

[00:03:06] But you do if you write one.

[00:03:09] I can write my own.

[00:03:11] Yeah.

[00:03:11] Write your own dick.

[00:03:12] Write your own dick.

[00:03:14] Imagine if you had romance novels that the only part that was like fill in the blank was the descriptor words for like the genitalia.

[00:03:21] Yeah.

[00:03:22] I feel like.

[00:03:22] That'd be amazing.

[00:03:23] You ever play Mad Libs as a kid?

[00:03:24] Yeah.

[00:03:25] That's what I was talking about.

[00:03:26] Like instead of what a dick it'll just say like adjective.

[00:03:29] And you're like okay.

[00:03:30] That'd actually be a great idea.

[00:03:31] Like romance novels Mad Lib.

[00:03:33] Yeah.

[00:03:36] I think that'd be so funny.

[00:03:38] Well anyways.

[00:03:40] Hello.

[00:03:41] Welcome back to Mindless Prattle.

[00:03:42] A podcast where we prattle on about anything and everything that your ears want to hear.

[00:03:47] You got really quiet like you're a flight attendant.

[00:03:49] My name is Ripley.

[00:03:51] That's Jordan.

[00:03:52] And we're your hosts of Mindless Prattle.

[00:03:54] What episode is it Robert?

[00:03:57] 99.

[00:03:58] You sound so excited.

[00:04:00] Thank you for doing that wonderful show for us.

[00:04:05] We won't suffer through any more terrible accents though.

[00:04:09] I think we're out of that phase.

[00:04:11] Two weeks is long enough.

[00:04:12] I don't know.

[00:04:13] I thought about like learning how to do an Irish accent just for y'all.

[00:04:16] But I wonder if you can say y'all in an Irish accent.

[00:04:20] You can't say anything in an Irish accent.

[00:04:22] So sure.

[00:04:25] No, I can't.

[00:04:26] Yeah.

[00:04:26] Like yeah.

[00:04:26] You had like a painful face that you made.

[00:04:29] I was going to be like, I'll be shooting for me own hands.

[00:04:32] No, stop it.

[00:04:33] I'm cutting that out.

[00:04:34] You cannot be in the podcast three weeks in a row.

[00:04:37] It's just not possible.

[00:04:39] Anything's possible if you just believe.

[00:04:41] Dude, my laptop just is taking off for like space right now.

[00:04:45] I was about to say, why do you sound like you have a jet engine going on?

[00:04:47] I don't know.

[00:04:48] Oh, it's trying to update.

[00:04:50] Awesome.

[00:04:50] Oh, okay.

[00:04:50] I was like, your laptop doesn't normally make that sound.

[00:04:52] Making sure your PC has enough space.

[00:04:55] For what?

[00:04:55] Get out of here.

[00:04:56] Windows 11 update.

[00:04:57] I don't want to.

[00:04:59] I can't even update to Windows 11.

[00:05:01] I think I've told you.

[00:05:02] I'm already on 11.

[00:05:03] It just says it's a Windows 11 update.

[00:05:05] Yeah, no.

[00:05:06] My computer can't have it.

[00:05:08] It's too old.

[00:05:10] It's too old.

[00:05:15] I can't even remember what I was at the store for, but I went to Walmart.

[00:05:21] And I don't know if you're on that subreddit, the boomers something subreddit.

[00:05:26] No.

[00:05:27] I don't know.

[00:05:28] What's it called?

[00:05:29] Boomer?

[00:05:31] I don't know.

[00:05:31] It makes fun of old people in funny situations where they just need a tiny bit of patience.

[00:05:36] It's like boomers being boomers or something?

[00:05:37] Yeah, something like that.

[00:05:38] Anyway, you'll get the gist of it.

[00:05:40] So I encountered this guy at Walmart.

[00:05:44] It was great.

[00:05:45] So I was getting in line to check out.

[00:05:47] He was in front of me.

[00:05:48] He, you know, the cashier scans everything.

[00:05:51] He's super silent, just standing there staring at her.

[00:05:58] They finished the interaction and she just goes on her phone.

[00:06:03] The cashier does.

[00:06:04] And the guy puts his card in the machine, little chip reader, and nothing's happening.

[00:06:11] They're both.

[00:06:12] He's staring at the screen.

[00:06:13] She's staring at her phone.

[00:06:15] And he pulls it out, cleans it off, puts it back in, pulls it out again.

[00:06:20] Nothing's going on.

[00:06:21] He looks up at her and he goes, it's not working.

[00:06:25] Nothing's popping up on the screen.

[00:06:27] And she goes, oh, hey.

[00:06:28] And she goes, oh, hang on.

[00:06:30] And like hits a couple buttons and then it goes through.

[00:06:32] And I'm like, you didn't even like process the transaction.

[00:06:35] You just kind of zoned out there and went to your phone.

[00:06:37] Like get the fuck off your phone, lady.

[00:06:38] So then I was on this dude's side.

[00:06:40] I was like, all right, he deserves it.

[00:06:43] All right.

[00:06:43] He can be angry about this one.

[00:06:46] Like she fucked it up.

[00:06:48] Plus it's like one thing to be on your phone if nobody's there.

[00:06:50] Yeah, but there was like two customers.

[00:06:53] Yeah, it was the old dude trying to check out me and then like one or maybe two people behind me.

[00:06:57] Like now is not the time.

[00:06:59] Yeah.

[00:06:59] No, so she just didn't hit the button.

[00:07:01] So then she hits the button.

[00:07:03] So he's like, okay, cool.

[00:07:05] Third time.

[00:07:06] Puts the chip in again.

[00:07:07] It says card error.

[00:07:08] So he pulls out the card and then goes, hey, it says card error.

[00:07:12] Do you want me to swipe it?

[00:07:13] And she goes, yeah, you could try.

[00:07:14] So he swipes the card and it says card error.

[00:07:19] He goes, the card's good and I only got the one.

[00:07:21] So what are we doing here?

[00:07:23] Because it's not reading either way.

[00:07:25] And she goes, hang on.

[00:07:26] And then she just literally does nothing.

[00:07:29] She just like steps back, looks at her side of the screen and then goes, try the chip.

[00:07:35] So he puts the chip back in.

[00:07:37] Same thing, card error.

[00:07:38] Pulls it back out and he goes, yep, card error.

[00:07:41] She goes, okay, try swiping it.

[00:07:43] So he swipes it and she goes, no, no, the other way.

[00:07:46] And he's always like, okay.

[00:07:47] So he turns the card around, swipes it with like the strip up instead of down.

[00:07:51] You know?

[00:07:52] Which has never been the way ever.

[00:07:53] I was like, sure.

[00:07:54] Swipes it again.

[00:07:56] Same thing, card error.

[00:07:57] And he's like, is there some way you can just like type in my number over there?

[00:08:01] And she goes, yeah, it takes some time.

[00:08:04] So she takes the card from him.

[00:08:06] And I was like, good.

[00:08:07] They're going to just type in the number.

[00:08:09] It's 16 digits.

[00:08:09] You'll be okay.

[00:08:11] No.

[00:08:11] She puts the card down on her little like desk stand thing and then takes out a little

[00:08:17] wipe and just starts cleaning the card.

[00:08:21] And I'm like, you're taking more time for this than you would have just to type in the

[00:08:26] numbers.

[00:08:27] So she hands the card back to him, goes here, it's clean.

[00:08:32] Try again.

[00:08:33] So he puts the chip in.

[00:08:35] Well, he says chip or swipe.

[00:08:37] And she goes, oh, chip.

[00:08:38] Puts the chip in.

[00:08:40] Carter pulls it back out.

[00:08:42] And he goes, do you want to try an eighth time?

[00:08:44] Or what are we doing here?

[00:08:45] Can you just type it in?

[00:08:46] And she goes, yeah, try swiping it.

[00:08:48] And I'm like, oh, my gosh.

[00:08:49] I was just like, get your fucking manager over here.

[00:08:51] I'm not doing this anymore.

[00:08:54] So he finally was like, the strip's up and I'm going to swipe it.

[00:08:57] But if this doesn't work, type it in.

[00:08:59] And she's like, yeah, it should probably work.

[00:09:02] So he finally swipes it like this eighth time with the strip up.

[00:09:07] And she goes, it's processing.

[00:09:09] Hang on.

[00:09:10] And like a good 20 seconds later, it finally goes through and prints out.

[00:09:16] And she's like, there you go.

[00:09:17] Have a good day.

[00:09:18] Glad I could help.

[00:09:19] And he goes, you did nothing to help.

[00:09:21] And just walked off.

[00:09:22] I was like, yeah, I'm on your side, dude.

[00:09:24] Yeah, no, I am too.

[00:09:25] Normally, I'm like, you know, you got to be nice.

[00:09:27] I was like, no.

[00:09:28] Oh, my fucking God.

[00:09:29] I've met people with IQs of 50 that are smarter than that.

[00:09:32] And I had like five, maybe 10 things.

[00:09:35] Not very many things.

[00:09:36] But she's swiping the ball, doing all this.

[00:09:39] And then I didn't put my card in.

[00:09:42] And she goes, hopefully it works better for you.

[00:09:44] I'm like, yeah, hopefully you hit the button this time.

[00:09:47] And she goes, yeah, it should be good.

[00:09:49] And I was like, okay.

[00:09:50] Damn, she's so fucking oblivious, huh?

[00:09:52] And I tried.

[00:09:52] Yeah, I guess.

[00:09:53] And I put the chip in and it worked first time.

[00:09:55] And I walked off.

[00:09:55] And I was like, I don't know if it was his card plus her incompetence or what.

[00:10:00] But I just witnessed that whole thing.

[00:10:01] It was like, I don't know what to do.

[00:10:03] Like, I can't help here.

[00:10:04] I can't be like, sir, step aside.

[00:10:05] Let me put a card in.

[00:10:07] I'll pay for your groceries, sir.

[00:10:10] No, he's 100.

[00:10:11] Leave the world a better place for younger people.

[00:10:13] Get out of here.

[00:10:14] That's so funny.

[00:10:16] And then I had frozen meat.

[00:10:20] I remember I bought frozen meat.

[00:10:22] Don't worry, it's a story.

[00:10:24] So what?

[00:10:25] What kind?

[00:10:26] I think I got some like ground turkey.

[00:10:28] It's not relevant to the story, ma'am.

[00:10:30] Okay, frozen meat.

[00:10:31] Go on.

[00:10:32] Now she's going to be eating my ground turkey.

[00:10:34] Great, great audience.

[00:10:35] No more ground turkey burgers for me.

[00:10:38] I don't know what I'm going to use it for.

[00:10:39] It was on sale.

[00:10:40] I thought you said you're going to use it for burritos.

[00:10:42] Burritos?

[00:10:43] When did I say what?

[00:10:44] When you got it, you said you're going to use it for more crap.

[00:10:46] You weren't there.

[00:10:47] How do you know?

[00:10:48] I could swear I was.

[00:10:50] Did you see this interaction with the old guy?

[00:10:53] No, not like, oh, you just bought more.

[00:10:55] I thought you already had that.

[00:10:56] No.

[00:10:58] Whatever.

[00:10:58] Keep going with your story.

[00:10:59] Did you see how all of these details were not important?

[00:11:02] So I left them out.

[00:11:03] It's important to me.

[00:11:04] Yeah, I bet.

[00:11:05] Because you're going to steal my burrito meat.

[00:11:08] Tell your story.

[00:11:09] You're so perturbed.

[00:11:11] That's the word.

[00:11:12] Huh?

[00:11:13] Word of the day, perturbed.

[00:11:15] Yes.

[00:11:16] Anyway, so I bought some frozen stuff.

[00:11:19] So I was trying to get out in a hurry.

[00:11:21] But I hadn't eaten all day.

[00:11:22] And it was like almost one.

[00:11:24] So I was like, I'll be good noodle.

[00:11:26] I'll get french fries from McDonald's.

[00:11:28] Because that's always the healthiest choice.

[00:11:30] So I grabbed, I went on the app, right?

[00:11:34] Yeah.

[00:11:35] I ordered a large fry and a large Coke.

[00:11:38] Because I think I had a deal to get one of those free if I bought the other one.

[00:11:43] And it was like free fry with a purchase of a drink or something.

[00:11:46] So anyway, that's what I did.

[00:11:48] And I'm going to swear off that McDonald's that's in that Walmart.

[00:11:51] I was just about to say, why the fuck you go there?

[00:11:53] Because it is so slow every time.

[00:11:55] And this time was worse.

[00:11:56] And it pissed me off.

[00:11:57] And I was about to ask for their manager.

[00:12:00] Because it was ridiculous.

[00:12:01] What happened was, there's two girls working up front.

[00:12:06] And there's one dude in the back who looks like he's making all the food.

[00:12:09] Except for the fries, which is up front where these two girls are working.

[00:12:13] So they're doing drinks, cash register, and fries.

[00:12:16] That's what theirs doing.

[00:12:17] Two of them.

[00:12:18] Every other sandwich, everything is being made by that guy in the back.

[00:12:22] He even came up front and refilled the fry machine that thaws out the fries

[00:12:26] before they deep fry them.

[00:12:27] You know?

[00:12:27] Like, he was doing everything.

[00:12:29] He was sweating and running.

[00:12:30] Good on that guy.

[00:12:31] The two women up front didn't do shit.

[00:12:33] Like, they were pulling out orders and whatever.

[00:12:36] I swear, I was waiting on a large fry and an empty fucking cup so I can go get my own

[00:12:41] Coke for almost 25 minutes.

[00:12:44] Jesus Christ.

[00:12:44] It was forever.

[00:12:46] Just standing there.

[00:12:46] The fries don't even take that long to cook.

[00:12:48] No.

[00:12:48] No.

[00:12:48] Just standing there.

[00:12:49] So what happened, and they weren't putting out orders.

[00:12:53] They put out like two Happy Meals in that time and like a couple burgers.

[00:12:57] And most of what they were waiting on was drinks and this dumb bitch.

[00:13:01] All right?

[00:13:03] She, you know how like if I came to Starbucks or wherever and my friends worked there, they'd

[00:13:10] be like, oh, do you want something?

[00:13:11] I'll make you something.

[00:13:11] Maybe they'll give you something.

[00:13:13] Maybe they'll make something.

[00:13:14] Whatever.

[00:13:14] Right?

[00:13:15] One of the girls at this McDonald's, I guess, had some friends come by, which they got in

[00:13:21] line, got to the cashier, got to her, said whatever, walked off.

[00:13:25] They were standing next to me.

[00:13:26] They got there probably five or six minutes after I did.

[00:13:31] They were standing there for maybe two or three minutes.

[00:13:36] She got them like 10 drinks, didn't charge them for it, gave them all like 10 coffees.

[00:13:44] Right?

[00:13:45] Put in there.

[00:13:45] Like I overheard her because I was standing so close to it.

[00:13:48] I overheard her.

[00:13:49] She was like, oh yeah, I put in extra chocolate and caramel and blah, blah, blah.

[00:13:52] What else for them?

[00:13:54] Fine.

[00:13:54] Sure.

[00:13:54] Rob the corporate overlords.

[00:13:56] Whatever.

[00:13:56] Got it.

[00:13:57] Good for you.

[00:13:59] My grievances comes from they also ordered fries.

[00:14:03] I had already been standing there five minutes.

[00:14:05] I had seen that her put in a batch of fries and I saw my ticket with my number on it

[00:14:11] on the machine because all you need to do is put a large fry in a bag and give it to me.

[00:14:18] So she goes over, fills up like four large fries, puts them all in bags and then gives

[00:14:25] them to her friend who she also didn't charge for him and then they left.

[00:14:29] And I was like, I've been waiting here for fucking five, six minutes at this point, which

[00:14:34] doesn't sound forever, but it's one large fry.

[00:14:37] Yeah.

[00:14:37] And especially for somebody, you just give it to your friend who walked up afterward just

[00:14:41] because you have to be your friend.

[00:14:43] And that's not the worst part.

[00:14:44] The worst part, if she would have come over and been like, oh yeah, here's your fries as

[00:14:47] well.

[00:14:48] Cool.

[00:14:48] Thanks.

[00:14:49] No, she went back over and then had to start making more fries because she was out.

[00:14:55] She had given all the fries away and I was like, bro, what the fuck?

[00:14:59] So I'm there.

[00:15:01] Meanwhile, the second lady up front, she hasn't moved from the cash register, just like refused

[00:15:05] to help make drinks, help look at tickets, help do anything.

[00:15:08] There was maybe like one person that was ever at the register at a time.

[00:15:12] And then there was minutes in between where she was just stand there staring off into Walmart

[00:15:17] because no one was there to like get an order taken from her.

[00:15:21] I'm like, what is happening here?

[00:15:23] Maybe she doesn't know how to do anything else.

[00:15:26] Shit.

[00:15:26] I don't know.

[00:15:27] But yeah.

[00:15:28] So eventually she came over and grabbed my, gave me the fries.

[00:15:33] And then she said, oh, did you get your cup already?

[00:15:36] And I said, no, you haven't given me anything.

[00:15:38] And she goes, oh, okay, I can get it.

[00:15:41] What size was it?

[00:15:42] And I was like, large, just give me a large cup.

[00:15:45] She's like, okay, yeah, thanks.

[00:15:46] And I started walking off and I'm like, that was the worst experience.

[00:15:52] So I, this story gets better.

[00:15:57] I came back to the apartment, right?

[00:16:00] And I had too much stuff and we live on the third floor and I'm making two trips.

[00:16:06] Yeah.

[00:16:06] So I had to reduce the amount of things that I had.

[00:16:11] So I decided I'll just eat the fries in the car.

[00:16:16] Okay.

[00:16:17] Because it's less fries to carry.

[00:16:21] And I was hungry and annoyed about the whole McDonald's thing.

[00:16:26] Yeah.

[00:16:27] So I was just sitting there on my phone, eating some fries, like enjoying a little bit, you know, just hanging out for a second.

[00:16:35] And one of our neighbors, he walks out into the parking lot and I'm backed in.

[00:16:42] So I'm facing out into the parking lot, right?

[00:16:44] Into the road.

[00:16:45] He walks.

[00:16:46] Oh, excuse me.

[00:16:47] He walks past my passenger side.

[00:16:51] I catch his eye when he's like right in front of my hood.

[00:16:55] And he's just staring at me.

[00:16:59] And then he stops in the middle of the road.

[00:17:02] We're just making full eye contact, like something intimate's about to happen or one of us is about to get shot.

[00:17:07] It's one of the two.

[00:17:09] Yeah.

[00:17:09] Like it was way too long and super awkward.

[00:17:12] And I just was like shoving fries in my mouth, you know?

[00:17:16] So I'm sitting there like, what the hell you want?

[00:17:21] Oh, don't make that sound.

[00:17:22] The editor doesn't like it.

[00:17:23] No, that's a much different sound.

[00:17:25] And so I was sitting there just staring at him.

[00:17:28] He then turns around, looks down the street both ways and then walks over to his car, which was like 10 spots down, gets in and then drives over and parks next to me and then gets back out and then walks inside.

[00:17:47] And I'm like, what are you doing?

[00:17:49] Maybe he thought maybe he likes that spot and he was mad you were in it and he was trying to see if you were leaving or like getting there.

[00:17:57] I think so.

[00:17:58] But it was very awkward.

[00:17:59] And I was just like, I'm just going to eat fries, man.

[00:18:01] You do you.

[00:18:02] He just moved his car over and then went back inside.

[00:18:04] I was like, OK.

[00:18:05] But like, why did you just fucking stare at you?

[00:18:08] Yeah.

[00:18:08] And like, who comes outside just to move their car?

[00:18:12] I'm like, I don't know.

[00:18:15] It was very awkward for me.

[00:18:17] They were definitely mad that they had to park a few spots over there.

[00:18:20] Yeah.

[00:18:21] It's been real full at night lately.

[00:18:23] Yeah.

[00:18:24] Did you know a bubble butt is like an actual thing, like an actual medical condition?

[00:18:30] I think I've heard it, but not in a long time.

[00:18:34] Refresh my memory.

[00:18:35] So, you know, sea turtles can be plagued by what is called bubble butt.

[00:18:42] So basically, if they get struck by like a propeller, when they're healing, it fucks up their shell and it throws off their buoyancy.

[00:18:53] So it leads to positive buoyancy syndrome, which is known as bubble butt syndrome.

[00:19:00] Nice.

[00:19:00] It makes them like not able to swim properly or, you know, all that sort of stuff.

[00:19:05] It's debilitating.

[00:19:06] Essentially, it's like a disability for turtles.

[00:19:10] So this guy named Alex working at a 3D printing company, like really cares about this turtle named Charlotte in the Mystic Aquarium in Connecticut.

[00:19:23] And Alex 3D printed Charlotte a butt so that.

[00:19:30] But I saw.

[00:19:31] It could help them.

[00:19:32] I didn't know about the bubble butt part, but I did see that article.

[00:19:35] They use some like 3D scanning to get the accurate like shape that they would need for for the turtle.

[00:19:42] And then I was watching the short video about it.

[00:19:45] And one of the scientists was like, yeah, we hope that other scientists and institutions and stuff use this technology to help other creatures who need like prosthetics because you can just scan them and then and then print it.

[00:20:00] And I was like, where do you think all these other scientists and like conservation people are going to get the money for that?

[00:20:10] Because I don't know if you saw like the system that they're using, but it was a giant 3D scanner and then a giant 3D printer that prints it in like resin with like that.

[00:20:18] I'm like, that thing's way expensive.

[00:20:20] Yeah, that's crazy.

[00:20:21] Like, I don't.

[00:20:23] I just thought it was funny, though, because you've been 3D printing a lot and now it's like turtle butt.

[00:20:28] Yeah.

[00:20:29] I haven't like like I've done stuff this week, but I just feel like I don't have any fun stories like you do, you know, like I worked on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

[00:20:38] Same.

[00:20:39] And then.

[00:20:41] Yeah, see, in my off time, I go out and it's the world.

[00:20:44] To Walmart.

[00:20:46] Walmart, H-E-B, Lowe's.

[00:20:47] Had to go to Lowe's twice because someone got me the wrong screws.

[00:20:52] I also got you the screws that were stolen.

[00:20:56] Yeah.

[00:20:57] Yeah.

[00:20:58] Yeah, there's also that.

[00:20:59] But like I just, you know, got video game news all the time pretty much.

[00:21:05] Like, did you see Stardew Valley has reached 41 million lifetime sales?

[00:21:12] Nice.

[00:21:13] Which is crazy because it released in like 2016.

[00:21:17] Like it's going on its ninth year in February.

[00:21:23] So that's really cool.

[00:21:25] Yeah.

[00:21:26] I'm happy for Stardew Valley.

[00:21:28] I learned the other day that there is a symphony that they put on an actual concert with the music of Stardew Valley that's accompanied to gameplay.

[00:21:37] I'm very excited to go see it.

[00:21:39] And hear it, I guess.

[00:21:40] Yeah.

[00:21:40] And we got tickets.

[00:21:41] So we going.

[00:21:43] Yeah.

[00:21:44] So that there's that.

[00:21:45] That's very exciting.

[00:21:46] And then it's almost a new year.

[00:21:50] Lots of new games coming out this year.

[00:21:54] Pardon me.

[00:21:55] Assassin's Creed Shadows is coming out on Valentine's Day because fuck relationships, right?

[00:22:01] Yeah.

[00:22:02] Are you getting it?

[00:22:03] Obviously.

[00:22:05] Why would I not be getting that?

[00:22:06] I might just want to like play your copy.

[00:22:08] That's fine.

[00:22:10] Because like I want to play it, but I don't really want to pay for it.

[00:22:13] Yeah.

[00:22:14] Like Assassin's Creed and Halo.

[00:22:17] There's not a ton of games that I'll always buy, but I'll usually buy those.

[00:22:24] I will definitely get Split Fiction, but that doesn't come out till March.

[00:22:29] Oh, right.

[00:22:29] That's the multiplayer one, right?

[00:22:32] Yeah.

[00:22:32] There's a lot of stuff that's like release date hasn't been announced, though.

[00:22:35] It just says that it's coming out in 2025.

[00:22:38] So it's like.

[00:22:39] Good.

[00:22:40] Good.

[00:22:41] Ghost of Yotai comes out.

[00:22:44] I'm excited for that.

[00:22:45] Yeah.

[00:22:45] I still got to finish Ghost of Tsushima, but.

[00:22:49] I still haven't gotten the My Sims games that just came out for the Switch.

[00:22:55] Oh, no.

[00:22:56] It'll be like a next paycheck kind of thing, but.

[00:23:00] I did just pay off my student loan.

[00:23:02] Yeah.

[00:23:04] Clap.

[00:23:04] Congratulations.

[00:23:06] Hmm?

[00:23:07] Clap.

[00:23:08] Why aren't you clapping?

[00:23:09] No, that's something like you clap cheeks over.

[00:23:11] Not like, you know.

[00:23:14] And I'm almost finished with my book.

[00:23:17] Nice.

[00:23:19] We're only like two years ahead of schedule, so we're good.

[00:23:22] I just need to finish like.

[00:23:24] Writing it and editing and publishing.

[00:23:27] Three to four chapters.

[00:23:29] No.

[00:23:30] Because I had to erase.

[00:23:31] Little stuff.

[00:23:32] Like eight of them.

[00:23:34] Speaking of erased.

[00:23:35] You know how often planes crash?

[00:23:37] Not very.

[00:23:38] More often today.

[00:23:39] So.

[00:23:41] Yeah, it's not very often.

[00:23:43] Apparently a South Korean plane crash.

[00:23:45] Earlier.

[00:23:47] This morning, I guess.

[00:23:48] While.

[00:23:49] In South Korea.

[00:23:50] I don't know.

[00:23:51] And they're trying to determine the cause of it, but.

[00:23:56] Lots of people dead.

[00:23:58] What I saw.

[00:23:59] I did see that.

[00:24:00] At least two people survived, which I think is fucking crazy.

[00:24:04] Right?

[00:24:05] Like, could you imagine surviving a fucking plane crash?

[00:24:08] It's about.

[00:24:08] Well.

[00:24:10] Generally, if the plane's crashing and you have enough time, you can.

[00:24:14] Like plan for it.

[00:24:15] But this, like 179 out of the 181 people on board are confirmed dead.

[00:24:21] No.

[00:24:22] It's like.

[00:24:23] It just drove off the runway.

[00:24:24] It's like they just didn't stop for some reason.

[00:24:26] Oh, like it didn't even get in the air?

[00:24:28] No, it was landing.

[00:24:30] Oh, okay.

[00:24:31] I was like.

[00:24:31] I think.

[00:24:33] So I was thinking it had to have dropped from high.

[00:24:35] Because I was like, how does so many people die when they're.

[00:24:38] It was on a runway.

[00:24:39] So it was either taken off or landing.

[00:24:41] That's crazy.

[00:24:42] I didn't know that part.

[00:24:43] I assumed it was flying when it crashed.

[00:24:45] No, all crashes happen on the ground.

[00:24:47] Fuck.

[00:24:48] Fuck.

[00:24:50] Jesus Christ.

[00:24:57] But, okay.

[00:24:58] So I have seen some like plane crash videos on like YouTube for some reason.

[00:25:02] I had to stop watching them.

[00:25:04] I just like randomly popped up.

[00:25:06] Oh, my God.

[00:25:07] Nothing like is as panic inducing as watching something like that and hearing the pilots talking about like what's happening and like their last words and shit.

[00:25:15] Like, because, you know, you're a pilot.

[00:25:17] You're like an indespaire.

[00:25:19] You're like, fuck.

[00:25:20] Like, I'm going to die today.

[00:25:21] Like, that's horrifying.

[00:25:22] God.

[00:25:23] Hey, but at least they're not afraid of dying alone.

[00:25:27] Why?

[00:25:28] Because there's other people in the plane.

[00:25:30] What do you mean why?

[00:25:31] I think they prefer to just not be dead.

[00:25:34] Did you ever hear that joke?

[00:25:35] Mm-mm.

[00:25:36] Of the pilot?

[00:25:37] No, I haven't.

[00:25:38] No.

[00:25:39] It's a joke.

[00:25:40] It could be real.

[00:25:41] It's a joke.

[00:25:43] But it's a pilot gets on the air comm and he does his speech.

[00:25:48] And then afterward, they go, that's my first commercial flight.

[00:25:52] And I go, that's cool.

[00:25:52] And then the co-pilot turns to him and he goes, why did you want to become a pilot?

[00:25:57] And he goes, oh, I did to get over my fear.

[00:25:59] And he goes, oh, you've got a fear of heights.

[00:26:00] He goes, no, I was afraid of dying alone.

[00:26:03] Oh, man.

[00:26:07] It was at landing that it crashed.

[00:26:10] That sucks.

[00:26:11] Yeah.

[00:26:12] Always better to crash on takeoff.

[00:26:14] Well, no, it's like you get all the way there and then you just fucking die when you're getting to your destination.

[00:26:20] You'd assume it would be while you're in the air.

[00:26:22] Again, they don't crash in the air.

[00:26:26] Okay, I get what you're saying, but you know what I mean.

[00:26:29] You would think it would be happening while you're on route.

[00:26:33] Why?

[00:26:34] Why is in route your preferred method?

[00:26:37] I just feel like it's so much more depressing to get to your destination and be like, oh, yeah, I'm about to.

[00:26:43] Most people are going on vacation or they're traveling for work or stuff.

[00:26:45] You're like, you've got things you're doing and then you just fucking die.

[00:26:48] But then when the plane lands normally and people clap, you get annoyed.

[00:26:52] So, you know, you can't have it both ways.

[00:26:54] Listen, I just.

[00:26:56] Besides landing and takeoff much more dangerous than the middle parts.

[00:26:59] Like you're much more likely to crash because there's a lot more moving pieces.

[00:27:03] There's a lot more like things you can't control other than just the wind, because even if the engines go out or fall off or whatever, if you're in the air, it's still got as long as it's still got wings, you can glide to somewhere.

[00:27:17] Yeah.

[00:27:18] But on the ground, if the wheel falls off and you start going sideways, it's not really a lot of room between you and the ground to maneuver.

[00:27:25] You're going wherever you're going.

[00:27:27] I just don't understand like how crashing when you're on the ground already.

[00:27:31] Like leads to that many people dying.

[00:27:34] Like, how does it.

[00:27:35] Because the plane still needs to be going super fast to take off.

[00:27:40] But when landing, they're supposed to be slowing down.

[00:27:42] But if you don't slow down enough, you're just going to crash.

[00:27:46] So they just couldn't slow down fast enough.

[00:27:49] I would assume.

[00:27:50] Yeah, because if you could slow down fast enough without wheels, you could still slow down.

[00:27:54] But if there's nothing slowing you down and you're going hundreds of miles an hour skidding against pavement and then being compressed.

[00:28:01] When you hit something, it's not really great for you.

[00:28:04] Those poor people.

[00:28:05] I mean, they could have been middle class.

[00:28:08] I don't know.

[00:28:08] You know what I mean?

[00:28:09] I hope that they died relatively quickly and without pain.

[00:28:14] Sucks.

[00:28:16] What a depressing part of the episode.

[00:28:18] Holy shit.

[00:28:19] Yeah.

[00:28:19] Hey, you know how you like fidget a lot?

[00:28:21] Yes.

[00:28:22] I saw the greatest explanation for that the other day.

[00:28:25] And I'm just going to come out and say it.

[00:28:27] Autism.

[00:28:28] Oh.

[00:28:29] No.

[00:28:30] I mean, you might wish it was that.

[00:28:32] The.

[00:28:34] I saw a thing.

[00:28:38] I'm getting all worked up about it.

[00:28:41] I saw a picture and it was just a tweet or whatever.

[00:28:48] And someone goes, if you have that friend that always just can't sit still and loves to fidget, don't make fun of them.

[00:28:56] Buy them a tail because they're just fidgeting because they're furries who don't have an extra muscle to move.

[00:29:04] Because they're so happy.

[00:29:05] They need a tail.

[00:29:07] I was like, just buy them tails because everyone who can't sit still is a furry.

[00:29:13] And now it's all I think about whenever I see someone just fidgeting.

[00:29:17] I'm like, oh, that guy needs a tail.

[00:29:19] Oh, my God.

[00:29:20] Did we ever talk about the furry that we saw at Six Flags on the podcast?

[00:29:26] The fur.

[00:29:26] Oh, yeah.

[00:29:28] Dude, that wasn't furry.

[00:29:29] That was like a guy who converted a Batman mask.

[00:29:32] All right.

[00:29:32] That's what it was.

[00:29:33] Those are like what the dog masks look like.

[00:29:36] Yeah.

[00:29:37] It's probably something different because it looked more like a BDSM dog mask.

[00:29:42] That's what I'm saying.

[00:29:42] It looked like for a specific word.

[00:29:44] But it definitely was for a kink.

[00:29:46] And I don't know why they wore that on a roller coaster.

[00:29:48] No.

[00:29:48] So here's what it was.

[00:29:49] There were these two heftier individuals who appeared to be human mostly on the outside.

[00:29:58] And they were sitting on or they were getting onto a roller coaster.

[00:30:04] And one of them was wearing like a hard plastic throbbing.

[00:30:11] No, it was couldn't fit your hand around it.

[00:30:15] It was a dog mask that he was wearing with a collar and then the leash, which is other hefty owner.

[00:30:24] I think they're called a handler.

[00:30:26] I'm not going to say that.

[00:30:29] That's what they called them.

[00:30:30] I'm not going to indulge those people.

[00:30:33] It was holding the leash.

[00:30:37] And the best part about this roller coaster was that it goes backwards first and then goes forwards.

[00:30:44] But you're standing like you get onto the roller coaster in the middle.

[00:30:47] So we had to see them multiple times.

[00:30:49] It wasn't like they just left and came back.

[00:30:52] They came back through like three times.

[00:30:54] My favorite part of this whole interaction was they pulled them back up to the top of this little hill.

[00:31:00] And then it drops you and you go right past the waiting area again or loading area, whatever you call it.

[00:31:06] And while it dropped and as it went by, all you could hear were like screams of most people, understandably.

[00:31:16] And what they were screaming for, there was a guy in the back wearing a dog mask who was just howling at the top of his lungs.

[00:31:22] And I was like, wow, that's.

[00:31:25] Can you imagine being that brave to just go out in public and not be scared you're going to get the fuck beaten out of you?

[00:31:31] Is that brave?

[00:31:32] I mean, honestly, because if I was a parent and I saw like somebody dressed in a kink mask in the middle of Six Flags, I'd be like my fucking child's here, bro.

[00:31:40] Like, what the fuck are you doing?

[00:31:42] OK.

[00:31:44] I mean, like if they're wearing like a full leather mask and they're walking around like asking people to whip them, maybe.

[00:31:49] But also he's wearing a dog mask.

[00:31:50] He's not hurting somebody.

[00:31:51] It was fucking hot that day and you're wearing a leather mask like, bro, love yourself.

[00:31:57] It was plastic.

[00:31:57] That guy couldn't afford leather.

[00:31:59] OK.

[00:31:59] I was like, it looks like it was leather.

[00:32:01] I'm like, plus, I mean, if it's that hot, he'll just start painting.

[00:32:04] So it's fine.

[00:32:04] Oh, my God.

[00:32:08] I hate that.

[00:32:09] All right.

[00:32:11] Anyway, that's going to be the end of this episode.

[00:32:15] Don't forget your furry mask and your tail.

[00:32:17] If you can't sit still, that's what you need.

[00:32:20] You got to wag it.

[00:32:20] You got to wag it on.

[00:32:23] Look, Ripley's shaking because she knows she wants something.

[00:32:25] Oh, my God.

[00:32:25] Shut up.

[00:32:26] I'm just a fidgety person.

[00:32:28] Yeah.

[00:32:29] Well, that pent up energy.

[00:32:30] I'm not a furry.

[00:32:31] Mm hmm.

[00:32:32] We'll see.

[00:32:36] And next week's episode 100, we got some special stuff planned.

[00:32:39] We're going to play some little clips.

[00:32:40] We're going to react to it.

[00:32:41] It's going to be good times.

[00:32:41] It's going to be a little bit longer.

[00:32:43] So be on the lookout for that.

[00:32:44] If you stay with us this long, we appreciate it.

[00:32:47] Thank you for being part of this awesome journey.

[00:32:49] It's not the end of it, but it will be the end of season two next week.

[00:32:54] Yay, 100.

[00:32:57] I hope you have fun this episode.

[00:32:59] I know we did.

[00:32:59] And we will see you next time.

[00:33:01] Goodbye.

[00:33:03] All right, Siri.

[00:33:04] It's not Siri.

[00:33:05] It's a Windows voice.

[00:33:07] Windows?

[00:33:07] Yes.

[00:33:08] Windows doesn't have a voice.

[00:33:09] That's why I say that.

[00:33:10] Did you never use the old Windows computers?

[00:33:13] The old Windows computers.

[00:33:14] Yeah.

[00:33:15] So like in the early 2000s up until about like 2010, I want to say, on Windows, it would,

[00:33:22] when you would shut it down, like you'd go to press start, you press shut down.

[00:33:26] And the Windows lady would go, Windows is shutting down.

[00:33:31] Goodbye.

[00:33:32] Do, do, do, do.

[00:33:33] And then your computer would turn off.

[00:33:36] That's why they say that.

[00:33:38] Well, that's just disappointing.

[00:33:40] Why?

[00:33:41] I thought it was cool, but now it's just lame.

[00:33:45] It's not lame.

[00:33:46] You're lame.

[00:33:47] You know who's not lame?

[00:33:48] Clippy.

[00:33:50] Clippy's not lame.

[00:33:51] Clippy's always there for you.

[00:33:53] Did you ever play that horror game that was based off of Clippy?

[00:33:56] No, I didn't.

[00:33:57] Yeah.

[00:33:57] What?

[00:33:57] Yeah, no.

[00:33:58] So it's like a fake virtual desktop and you just do like different tasks on this computer.

[00:34:06] It's like fake computer.

[00:34:07] And Clippy is there and he helps you with things.

[00:34:09] But if you don't do what he says, or if you don't ask him for help enough, he gets mad

[00:34:13] and he just starts like fucking with you.

[00:34:15] And then it just starts like breaking your computer.

[00:34:18] Like yokey dokey, but Clippy.

[00:34:20] Yeah.

[00:34:21] He gets mad.

[00:34:23] No, I'll have to check it out sometime though.

[00:34:25] All right.

[00:34:25] All right.

[00:34:26] Bye peeps.