Mindless Wicker Space Flags

[00:00:10] There is little to applaud for in life. Like what? What do you mean? I like how you're already avoiding the mic. Like we moved the microphone to put it in front of you and you were like, I know. Let me move out of its way. Good job. I saw a story, I think because we talked about space last week a lot.

[00:00:34] There was a video that popped up on my feed that was a space nerd. And I guess she bought a bag of space dirt dust. Like moon dust? Moon dust, yeah. With like a NASA bag. Oh, cute. I didn't know you could do that. Well, she bought it for $150 and wanted to know. I feel like that's pretty cheap actually for some space dust.

[00:01:04] Well, she wanted to know if it was authentic because I think she bought it online somewhere. So she sent it to NASA and NASA said, hey, this is the bag that Neil Armstrong used to collect moon dust. So we're going to keep it because it's in the public domain and it's ours now. So she sued NASA and won the lawsuit because she legally purchased it, right? So they gave it back to her. And then I think they later, she sold it at auction for like almost $2 million. Yeah.

[00:01:34] But I was like, yeah, yeah. We just out here taking somebody's stuff. She bought it and was like, hey, can you prove this is real? And they're like, no, this is ours. Even if it wasn't like Neil Armstrong's, I just feel like $150 is pretty cheap for some dust that's literally not from this planet. Yeah, I don't know how she found like a website or like somewhere that was selling moon dust because there's not like a ton of it on Earth, you know? Like we haven't brought back a lot. No, I know.

[00:02:03] It just sounds funny to say it like that. Like there's not a ton of moon dust on the Earth. Well, yeah, you know. Well, you could say the same. Like we just haven't brought a bunch back. Like so this is episode 182. Go ahead. I'm Ripley. That's Jordon. And this is Mindless Prattle. I'm out with your story. But all right. I was going to say. So, you know, my family gave me this Amazon gift card for my birthday. OK.

[00:02:28] But there's so many things that I've wanted that I don't know if I should get like clothes or like bathtub stuff or like more books or makeup or video games that I've been wanting. It's hard being an adult and having interests. So you lack priorities? Is that what this story is? I lack priorities. That's all I heard.

[00:02:56] You could also just wait for like a month because then you'll be in a new like house and living situation. It might change. You might need a cheese grater because you lost mine again. But I feel like it's my birthday money. I should spend it on like fun stuff instead of just like needs, you know, you spend on whatever you want. I'm just saying I think cheese is pretty fun. You can change its shape and it still tastes good.

[00:03:24] OK, but I'm getting the prettiest, most colorful cheese grater. Why would you do that? Just so I can throw it away. It would make me happy. Gross. It would make you happy to live in a fucking rainbow. That's nice of you. I'm glad you're not looking out for our interests. Just yourself. I feel like you would like a rainbow. No. You might think you wouldn't. I have repeatedly. But it would make you so happy. I have repeatedly. It would make me happy that I get to go to work five days out of the week. That's what it would make me happy for. All right. And be like, oh my God, thank goodness it's Monday.

[00:03:54] I don't have to live in this until Saturday. That's what it would make me happy about. I've been thinking I have so many ideas and projects and things we should do. I'm like. OK, I'm all for projects and staying busy. My concern is you lack the skills to do like 90% of the projects that you think you can do easily. But I could learn. I agree that you could learn.

[00:04:23] I'm just wanting to like tamper expectations of you're not going to walk in and just start a bunch of projects. One, you don't have the skills. Two, you don't have the dedication to see things through, start to finish in a timely manner. So those two things alone, I'm out. You know? I can paint. I didn't say you couldn't. But you're going to have to learn the first thing, right? Of like the steps that go into painting cabinets. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:53] I think it's a good time to paint before you put a lot of things inside of it. Yeah. You just like you take all the excitement out and you're like trying to be all realistic. And I'm like now is not the time for realism. It's the time for excitement. I'm very excited to get to paint things. I don't think you get excited over like the small details, which kind of matter when you're like fucking with a house. No, they do matter. But you don't like talking about them. Which doesn't make any sense. Because we're on the podcast. We're not talking about small details about the behind the scenes. We're talking about how excited we are to paint.

[00:05:24] You don't even know what paint to get. You don't even know where to get paint. You don't even get paint. We get paint at Lowe's or Home Depot. Oh, or, huh? We don't care which one. I don't know which one sells the brand we like. See? We don't even know where we're getting paint. I knew we knew it was at Lowe's. So? Do you ever think about like why do your husbands and boyfriends purposely rage bait you? And then when you get filled with rage, they're like, why are you raged right now?

[00:05:53] All I did was rage bait you. I've done no raging at all. I've asked you where you get paint from. That's rage bait. It's not. It's a simple question. Hey, where are you getting paint from? Lowe's or Home Depot? Well, which one? Lowe's. All right. You the one that got mad at Lowe's. What did Lowe's do to you? Nothing. Well, I don't know why you mad at him. That's crazy. Yeah. I keep seeing a ton of like TikToks though that I want to show you where I'm like, oh, this would be so cool. We should do it.

[00:06:23] I can wait till you're there for the big projects. Big projects, nothing. You also told me that you would build the house in like the Sims or some design place. That way you had a safe space to like color things. And then we could look at it together and be like, wow, that color sucks. Let's not do that. Let's go with this color instead. I deleted the Sims. And you have not built the house anywhere. I wanted to do it in the other one, but my mods aren't working. What?

[00:06:52] The other one? In Paralives. Oh, no. So you have to just play the game with all of its functions that are more than the Sims already. Plus, we live in a, like we're going to have a house with straight walls. You don't got to worry about like curves and stairs. It's single floor, straight walls. Yeah. I just, I deleted the Sims. Okay. Well, I'm talking about Paralives then. Yeah. I'll try it later. You try whatever. You've been on a Skyrim kick, so don't come blaming me. Yeah.

[00:07:23] Skyrim and Minecraft. I'm telling you. Fucking oldies is kicking in right now. And 2010s is going on. Yeah. I mean, I do. I want to play Silent Hill 2 because I never played it before. And then I've been meaning to replay Alien Isolation because the second one's coming out probably next year. They haven't announced the exact date for it, but they just released like the full trailer. So assuming it'll be next year.

[00:07:52] But there's just so many things. Again, back to like the first conversation. Priorities. You're prioritizing video games over packing. I can do both. You can, but you haven't been. I've packed so many things. You've packed two tough boxes. That's so many things. It's not. It's not. I hate packing by myself.

[00:08:18] It's so heavy and I feel guilty because we're going to hire someone to carry things and it's going to be so heavy and I feel bad that they're going to have to carry it throughout three slides of stairs. You could get rid of stuff. Why not get rid of our board games and books though? I didn't say we were. I'm just saying other things that could contribute to that weight. Like what? I'm not sure. You would have to like take it out of wherever and then go, we don't really need this and then throw it away or donate it.

[00:08:49] Okay. Well, let's do that later. We can do it right after this. You see that? Did you see that face of disgust? She's like, not on my priorities. What did you mean by later then? After we've already moved? Tomorrow. Tomorrow what? You going to choose my longest day of work to pack? That sounds fun. That sounds like a great time for me. Okay. Later today, I guess. Well, it's just so unexciting. Look, this is what I'm saying.

[00:09:17] Like moving, really exciting, right? New place, really exciting. Me going, hey, we need to pack so we can do those things. You're like, you're just a buzzkill and I hate your details. All right. Well, we've got less than two weeks. Don't put it like that. We've got less than two weeks. So that's the timeline you're on. Just so we're checking. I'm not ready to have a mental breakdown about this. It's not a mental breakdown.

[00:09:47] You know I'm going to have one, though. That's great. In the next episode we record, nothing's going to be in this room. It's going to be blank. It's going to be me with a GoPro on the floor. That's what's going to happen. This sounds kinky. What? It's called a joke. Yeah. The joke is these like vacuuming. All right. This floor, disgusting. Speaking of kinky, I showed you that trailer for that movie The Wicker Man with Alexander Skarsgård.

[00:10:18] Why is that recommended to you? I saw it on like TikTok was where I first saw the trailer because I see a lot of movie trailers on TikTok. Excuse me. Sorry. But I was thinking about it again today because somebody who makes Wicker furniture online posted a video of themselves making their Wicker furniture. And they're like, after this new movie, we're never going to look at our furniture the same way again.

[00:10:50] Bro's going to sell special editions of his chairs. He can sit on this one. I love that Alexander Skarsgård will play whatever. Like he'll play whatever character. He doesn't care. He's like, I'm hot. I'll play a Wicker man. I'll play a vampire. Yeah. But I feel like unless you know, like he clearly isn't very recognizable in this one. I feel like he looks exactly like himself, but a Wicker man. Like I don't stare at him that often. So maybe not.

[00:11:20] But I've also just seen him in a lot of stuff. Like, you know, I watched True Blood as it was coming out and stuff. And I think that's kind of where his first big breakout role was. But I've seen him in a ton of stuff since then. Yeah. Did you see, did you ever see Murderbot? Yeah. I watched it with you. Did we watch it together? No. I didn't watch the first few episodes, but I watched it with you starting like halfway through. Yeah. You joined in like. Yeah. No. Somebody was, that was part of the post I had seen that was talking about all his roles and

[00:11:49] they would like, they said any shape, any form, anytime. I do love Alexander Skarsgård. I don't, I don't usually believe in those like hear me out things or not hear me out, but those things that are like, Oh, who would be your celebrity hall pass? Cause like, I don't want my husband to cheat on me with the celebrity either.

[00:12:13] But Alexander Skarsgård, I'm just saying, if you ask my husband for permission, I love that man. Oh boy. Did you ever see that post of the guy was like, what are these double standards in my relationship? And he was like, my, my girlfriend's mad at me because I said that some actress in a movie

[00:12:43] was wearing a cute dress and now she won't talk to me. But earlier in the same movie, she said that she would like slug this dude's dick in front of her dad if she had the chance. And I was just supposed to be okay with that, but I can't call her cute in the dress. And I was like, bro, talk to your relationship. Plus half the time you see cute things. You're like, that dress looks really good. We should get you one. You know, but yeah, I have no problem with it.

[00:13:12] Or we'll see an actress and we'll be like, she's hot. There's no way you can reach that coffee without like totally moving out of frame. Just off to this side. Why is it so far away? Why did you banish it? Also, those coasters are not real coasters. Every time I pick one up, there's water underneath them from something. I'm like, these are the worst. They are the worst. That's why I use one as like a soap decoration.

[00:13:40] You're using it as a coaster right now. No, I mean, there's another one. I know. I'm saying stop using them as coasters. Clearly, they do not work. Yeah. Look around. Panic. Panic and grab something. Ah, yes. Uh-huh. Nope. Not that. That was for glasses. Oh, a coaster. That's surprising. We have a coaster, folks. We just didn't want to use it because it was coasting over there. Oh, yeah.

[00:14:10] Innocence, yeah. But so, yeah. We should go see that movie together, though. No. Why not? It'd be fun. Going to watch porn in a theater? I've got porn here. What? It just looks like it's going to be really funny, though. I also like that in that trailer, it implies that this wicker man has his own job. She's like, he has his days, and I have mine. He just goes out and does stuff.

[00:14:38] It's not just a wicker man brought to life. He's sentient, has a personality, has a job. He's just made of wicker. That's the only thing. What would you expect him to do? Well, normally, stuff like that, they're like, oh, this was brought to life, and they only live for this woman they were created for. It very easily could be a horror movie. Instead, it's more of just like a rom-com-esque type of thing, it looks like. It does not look like romance at all.

[00:15:09] Let's see. What does it count as? Bless you. Excuse me. Dude, I've been sneezing and sniffling all day. I know. It's been crazy. I think it's just because I dusted. Yeah. It's a romantic fantasy, dark comedy, and comedic fable. I don't believe that those are real words. It tells an unconventional magical love story between a lonely fisherwoman and a sentient

[00:15:38] man hand-woven out of wicker. The story uses bawdy, irreverent humor to mock small-minded-town gossip, rigid social traditions, and jealousy. The movie reads more like an adult folklore legend with deep social messages about loneliness and human connection. Then why is their whole trailer just porn? Hey, the UK version is hornier, apparently. Apparently, you can- I'm glad you've researched it.

[00:16:06] No, I didn't watch it, but everybody on TikTok was like, oh, you gotta look up the UK version. You gotta look up the UK version. And then they're like, apparently, you can see his woodpecker in the UK trailer. But the US one, they were like, nudity is not good for people. Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that.

[00:16:38] My first R-rated movie I saw in theaters was Fifty Shades of Grey. Oh, boy. What is their rating on this movie? Oh, you know, I don't know. It's gotta be like NC-17, right? I don't care if it has a 7 out of 10. What is the- All right. It's rated R. Oh, okay. That's not bad. I would have expected worse, honestly. Huh. Mm-hmm.

[00:17:07] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What? Praised for its bold romance. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I really liked that part in the commercial or the trailer where the guy was like, please fuck my wife. That was you a couple seconds ago. I mean-

[00:17:37] Talking about old Alex over here. I don't need him to. I don't need him to. My husband is plenty satisfied. Yeah, I gotta meet this guy then. I'll need to get some tips or something. Like, we will have no problems in the future. Hey. It's over there. Have you seen those prank videos where they're like, other than the obvious, like, what would you change about yourself?

[00:18:07] Yeah. And you were complaining at the beginning of this that men are rage-baity. Okay. Mm-hmm. Sure. That's why I don't do stuff like that to you. You've asked me that exact question before. But I told you about it before it. No. Yes, I did. You ask me. You go, have you seen this trend? And you go, hold on, let me ask you. And then you ask me that question. And I go, what does this mean? And you go, oh, that's just what the trend is. That's what I was telling you. I was telling you what the trend is. Yeah, after you asked me the question to make me angry. I'm so upset.

[00:18:38] Oh, you keep making me go over here. I keep making you talk into the microphone? What a shame. Such a terrible... Alex, come get her. She doesn't... I'm terrible. I don't... I don't understand it. Listen, if Taylor Swift didn't have a chance, I doubt I do either. Well, not if you can't stay on the knob. Plus, I'm too short. Okay. You know, I know that, like, climb him like a tree is like a saying or whatever, but I don't want to do that. I'm pretty sure he's like six foot something.

[00:19:09] Let's see. His full height has got to be tall as shit, right? He's six foot four. Yeah, no. That's like a whole foot taller than me. You're not even... You're like 5'11". Okay. Right? It's a good brand, yeah. Or 5'12". 5'12", yes. Jordan's like 5'10", 5'11". The best measurement, 5'12".

[00:19:37] But, like, you're already tall enough that I would have to... Sometimes I have to stretch up to kiss you, you know? I feel like over six feet is too tall for me. Like, just find a tall, doe-like woman who can steal your breath away. Does your arm have parasites? What are we doing with it right now? My mind does. Like, it's blocked by the camera, so all you'll see is just your left arm going up and down.

[00:20:12] Anywho, that's like the first movie trailer I've seen in a little bit, though, because it keeps popping up on TikTok. I mean, you keep pausing to watch the whole thing, so... No, I've only seen the full trailer, like, twice. I've seen one trailer, and then I showed you it. I stopped to watch the trailer originally, because I thought it was going to be a scary movie with Peter Dinklage. And then it turned out to be that. And I was like, ah, it actually seems really fun. I'll get you some wicker.

[00:20:42] Don't need it. What do you mean? You weave it together, pre-ribbed, it's good to go. Ribbed? Spare. What? Just laughing at your jokes. Finally. You, like, always just stare at me. I think I'm super funny. And then you're like...

[00:21:12] Oh, I'm sorry. I don't go over the top for every joke I hear. I just wish you would laugh at all of my jokes. Well, maybe if they were all the same standard of funny. They are all very funny. They are not. Yes. If everything is very funny, nothing is. Okay? That's not true. It is true. No. Why would you think that? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Jesus. See? See how it didn't make it funny just because I laughed? Made me laugh. That's because you, like, make fun of me. She started it.

[00:21:41] If you guys didn't know. We should go back, read the lore of the podcast. How many times have you made me cry on the podcast? By asking simple questions, at least zero. All right? I mean by other things, too. What? Name 12. You were mean to me one time. Okay. Name 11 more. Probably mean to me a lot more than one time. Okay. You get grumpy.

[00:22:10] You still got nine more times to mention. I don't know. It hasn't been. It hasn't happened in a while. Yeah. It's not been bad for me either. No. There would just be times where you'd start like an argument while we're trying to record. And I'd be like, okay, I don't want to talk about this. We're in the middle of recording. And then you'd make me talk about it. And I'd be like, no. No. This is not the time. On Air Therapy.

[00:22:39] That was our secondary name for the podcast. No, it was not ever. Yeah. Because we talk about things that are important to our lives. And you're just like, I'm not here to have serious sinicis. Because I don't want to have family therapy in front of our friends on the internet. I don't think talking about you streamer or not is family therapy. Okay. It is one of the reasons that you're about to cry.

[00:23:09] Because I was like, you should not stream right now. Okay. Well, I'm going to stream eventually. Okay. Look. She gave me the other. Like, no. No. I'm sorry. My ear just like hurts. And I don't know why. Oh, sure. I start talking and your ear starts hurting. That's why I was like depressurizing my sinuses and stuff. Because I was like, maybe that's why. But it's only the left ear.

[00:23:36] What coffee did you have after you woke up from that nap? Espresso. I don't like it. Don't. What do you mean? Do you more over the place than all befores? What does that mean? Like, regular coffee, you jump. But like, you overhear like tweaking on your arm. I'm not tweaking. I'm just itchy. Yeah.

[00:24:06] So are the tweakers. Their arms just itch. I feel like we've barely talked about anything and it's already been like almost half an hour. Well, I'm sorry. Let's talk about nothing then. No. I did want to have you tell the audience about your journey in the Assassin's Creed remake. You wanted me to talk about it? Yeah, because you. Excuse me. Sorry. Because you finished all the achievements today.

[00:24:36] So what were your final thoughts? For Black Flag Resync? Mm-hmm. It was good nostalgia wise to play through it again. I think I would have gotten the same feelings of nostalgia just playing the original again. So I don't know that it was worth redoing it or like buying it. I like buying it for the better graphics, I guess.

[00:25:04] But I liked the combat, the UI, the story, and the old one better. And the new missions they added didn't add to the story at all. Like it added a couple missions and like they added a side mission where you go after the pirate who killed or the pirate hunter who killed Blackbeard. And you're like, oh my gosh, this is exciting. You'll get to avenge him in this new storyline that they added.

[00:25:33] And then that storyline ends and you don't actually get to kill him. So I'm like, why did we even add this then? Like there was no closure to it. And I was like, all right, cool, I guess. Did it feel like a cash grab or did it feel just kind of like not planned out? No, it felt like they cared enough to put effort into it, but not as much as they should have for the level of like intricacy that they needed.

[00:26:03] The new story missions felt very out of place compared to the old ones. Like even you can start playing the new missions very early on. And so the whole point of the game, like the beginning of it, your main character is very like self-centered and doesn't give a shit about anybody. And then throughout the story loses like all of his friends and loved ones because of his actions and then like turns it around and is then like, okay, well,

[00:26:31] I got to start living for other people and like making better decisions and like helping people a little bit here and there. Right. You're still a pirate. But the beginning of the game is where you're like an asshole to everybody. But then you play these missions and he's suddenly super nice in the middle of being an asshole to everybody. He's super nice to these new characters and like helps them through trauma and just like helps them at a goodness of his heart. It was like, well, as long as I get paid, it'll be fine. And you're like, this is very out of character.

[00:26:58] Would it have helped if it was like locked behind like later in the game? No, because there's some of those missions that you play after he gets redeemed. But after he gets redeemed, you're like, okay, let me help others. And then you literally can go from a cut scene where he's like, what can I do to help? Like I've, this is the damage I caused six years ago. What can I do to help? Where do I go? Like, oh, do here, this, this, and this. You go do that in that cut scene.

[00:27:25] Then you can go straight to another mission where they're like, hey, we can avenge one of your friends. And he's like, well, I'm only doing it if I get paid. And you're like, all right, now we're back the other way. We're back way opposite of this. Like, it doesn't make any sense. It's like, it flips. Honestly, it kind of feels like the Fallout dialogue options where it's like from one extreme to the other, where it's like either, no, fuck you. I do what I want. Hit you in the face. Or, oh no, I could never kill a fly. Yeah, no, it's the beginning of the game. He's very selfish.

[00:27:52] But in these new missions, he's like selfless, except for he just wants to get paid. And he's just a cash grabber or whatever. And then at the end, he's more selfless. And then you go into these missions and he's just like, well, fuck your safety. I want some gold. And you're like, by this point in the game, dude, I got more gold than most of the people that you can see. So I don't know where this is like. Like you build up your own like island area. Yeah. You're wealthy. The continuity of it just doesn't make sense.

[00:28:21] There's a cut scene in this new one where you talk about how much wealth you have. And then you go into this cut scene where you're like betraying friends one more time to get more gold. And like we just talked about how we have enough money. And now we're saying, oh, fuck your life. I want more money. Doesn't it show you have like kids or something at the end of the game? Yeah. You have two children. You have a daughter with your late wife who you left to go be a privateer and a pirate.

[00:28:46] And then you have your son who you have after you return to England who becomes the one of the first characters you play in Assassin's Creed 3. So like reverses. Okay. No. I've only played Valhalla and Black Flag. So. Supposedly they're remaking Assassin's Creed 1. But if it's this same UI and this same like fighting style and stuff, I don't know that I'll get it. Yeah. Just based off of 4. Based off this one, you know.

[00:29:16] I might be able to enjoy it since I haven't like played a lot as many as you have. So I won't have as much to compare it to. Maybe. I mean, yeah, probably. Like Black Flag, it doesn't make any sense that they changed some of. Like why did the UI change and why did it change to the UI that they've been using for the current games? It just feels lazy. Yeah. Like they used to come out with a game and the UI would be changed slightly for this new game. And you'd be like, oh, this makes sense.

[00:29:44] But the last like three UIs have all been identical. So I'm like this just feels the same. And their writing is very lazy. You know, like all right. I feel like with the newer like game engines, it takes them so long to develop them that they hang on to them longer than they should. And then they want everything to go through that and be like, look at how great it is. But it doesn't necessarily work, especially for older game models. It's like they were different for a reason. And like sure, it might be okay for your newer games.

[00:30:14] But yeah. And the fact that they they just added in unnecessary things like there's a battle pass now. Every time you log in, there's like a there's a pop up. So instead of taking you to the map, it takes you to like the Ubisoft store, even though it's the same button. So you have to go like three extra buttons to get to the map so you don't have to go through the store. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not playing that. Yeah. I'm like this. This is OK. Like not one. This the change, like the fundamentals of it.

[00:30:45] But like I said, that the like the master like armor that you can get, it used to be bulletproof. Now you get it and you get like a charm that you can wear that'll make you bulletproof. I'm like, why did we do this? I'm like, OK. Overall, I think they put good effort into it. It's just like they were I feel like they were rushing through to like make it as as done as possible.

[00:31:14] So they went with their new UI that they were used to just they wouldn't have as many problems in developing it. But that took away a lot from the original game. The gameplay, like the aiming, some of the controls are very like not as fun to use. The combat especially was like we reworked the combat. They just remade it so that now it's identical to like their newer games. And like so all you did was convert the moves into this new game. Like, all right.

[00:31:45] But have you pre-ordered Gears of War E-Day? No, no. I haven't looked at it yet. I probably will. I think the the beta opens on the 8th, I want to say. Maybe the 6th. The game comes out on Thursday, so. Hmm? It comes out on the 6th. I thought that was the beta. I don't know. They just keep showing me ads for it. Let's say like the 6th.

[00:32:12] So maybe if you pre-order, you get it on the 6th. Let's see. Oh, yeah. It's a launch date is the 6th. But it says it should be available on Games Pass. So I'll just play that then. Well, well, well, well, well, well. This is Ripley. That thing over there is Jordan. And we're your hosts of Mindless Prattle. You can listen to our episodes every Monday at noon Central Time and see us every Tuesday on YouTube.

[00:32:43] If you like what you heard, please like, subscribe, give us a listen, share us with your friends. Whatever you want to do, we won't judge. Have a great day. Have a great weekend. Have a great life. And we'll see you next week. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.