Mindless Last Rites

[00:00:01] What are you doing today? My best! You say that every day but it kind of fluctuates. Yes my best fluctuates every day. Oh my gosh. Are you always at 100%? I try to be when it matters. What are you doing? I'm looking through emails because you're just faffing about.

[00:00:29] Well I thought we were recording now. I thought so too but you're just faffing about. Well get started then. You do it Pony. It's hot in here. It's not. I'm pretty sure you're just going through menopause.

[00:00:39] I'm not going through menopause. I'm too young for that. Okay. Not in spirit. What? You were complaining on the way up here that life is dull. You had no hobbies. You said I have no hobbies. I said I have plenty of hobbies. Not enjoyable ones.

[00:00:58] Otherwise you'd look forward to doing your hobbies instead of going, I have work today. There's no joy in life. See? See? See how there was no argument?

[00:01:07] I don't know how to look to the future okay? There was no argument. Couldn't have been like, when I get home from work I get to play more scary games.

[00:01:13] Couldn't have done that. Nope. We should do that. Nope. Couldn't do it. We just immediately went, there's work today. The day is ruined.

[00:01:21] There's no point. Let us sleep now. We've talked about waiting mode before. Waiting mode? Like if I have something in mood that takes up my whole day.

[00:01:29] It takes up your whole day because you know that you're not going to have fun doing that thing so you're like, oh I can't have fun beforehand then my mood will be ruined at work so I'll just ruin my mood now.

[00:01:39] Like oh good. Love it. It's just like going to work literally makes my head feel like it's filled with bees.

[00:01:47] Yeah because you don't enjoy it. It's like this painful boring buzzing. But then you let it ruin the rest of your day where you're like, oh I have three hours until work. I hate this.

[00:01:55] I'm like why don't you play games for two hours and then get ready for work? You're like no I'll just sit here on my phone trying to drown out the pain of thinking about work and then eventually go to work anyway. Okay.

[00:02:08] You know I think it's worse because I'm like more mentally stable than I was. So like before like everything felt bad all the time so I was like you know work is work. But now that like I enjoy other parts of my life and my medications working and the therapy is working I'm like oh my god I really got to go to work.

[00:02:24] Do you take your medicine? I took one of them. The other one I'll take tonight because. Yeah that's good. Why are you making fun of my hand? Anyway this is Mindless Prattle episode 72. I'm Ripley, that's Jordan and we're going to.

[00:02:39] I'm Ripley and that's Jordan. You don't know that alright. I think they know our voices by now hopefully. No no. I was reading the other day that it's like what was the percentage? Do you remember? Of what? Me neither so it's it was like high it was over half. It was like over half I don't know maybe it wasn't over half. Anyway there's a certain percentage of the male population that apparently it's like oh yeah when you hit 30 or around 30 you'll go through

[00:03:11] what they like it's called second puberty and I was like what the fuck does that mean? And a lot of times it was like oh yeah your voice will just get lower. I'm like that's not at all the same as puberty but okay. I mean the same thing happens to women and like nobody warns you about it. Your voice gets deeper too? No like a second puberty basically like when I was about 23, 24 my boobs got bigger my hips got wider like my body started changing again and I was like what the fuck man I thought we were done with this. I'm pretty sure we told you alright. We were just like whoa look at

[00:03:41] them things. But you know I wasn't expecting it like everybody's like yeah you're a teenager you go through puberty it's over nobody says you get a second growth spurt. Yeah I don't know about growth but it's definitely like your voice will get deeper and stuff and I'm like I don't need a deeper voice then I can't scream annoyingly. That'd be kind of sexy though. No then I can't scream annoyingly. I was watching somebody on YouTube that was like this is what I sounded like three years ago and it was like a higher picked like a whole octave higher and then when he went back he goes that's just gross and I was like oh alright.

[00:04:11] That is weird but hey you know it'd be fun. We went and saw a movie the other day. Oh my god we did. I'm glad that you just remembered and I made Jordan go see it. She made me go see it and she did this is what it was is I was like let's go on a date and you plan it and she's like that sounds amazing I'll go plan it and then I was like where are we doing what are we doing and uh and she said we're going to the movies and I was like awesome we get to the movies

[00:04:41] and she's like haha just kidding it's a scary movie I'm like awesome love it can't wait to have nightmares tonight. It's not a scary movie it's a thriller. No no people died there was suspense you didn't know who was killing people for a while they had to stare at a mirror it was a horror movie. They just stared at a mirror. You know it there was things watching them from the other side of a mirror. I don't know I just think so the reason I made him go see this movie was I kept seeing like little clips on TikTok and it was like it's based on this book so we went and saw The Watchers and it was based on a book so I read the book

[00:05:11] really quick easy read it's like maybe two to three hundred pages yeah quick and easy I have a quick read like I read it in a whole night okay and it was really creepy. I had no life for an IT. No because I really I needed to know what they were like what what was The Watchers. No you don't like not knowing things so before seeing the movie you're like let me get the spoilers for the movie and then went to the movie. No because I just thought the concept was so cool I didn't want to wait to watch the movie I was like I'll read the book. Yes I know you don't like waiting so

[00:05:41] you got your own spoilers I just said this. But the book was really good I really liked the ending like it's not so much scary like I said as it's more suspense in the book like there's scary moments but overall it's like more of a mystery thriller. The movie not as good still pretty good I didn't hate it but I definitely. The movie was good she's lying to you. As long as you don't look at a movie trailer and go oh shoot let me read the book so I know what happens before I go see the movie the movie is good. I just don't think I

[00:06:11] would have paid that much money to go see it if like like that's something I could watch on Netflix and been just as happy you know. That's most movies nowadays you don't go to the movies because it's a good movie you go to the movies for the experience you get the seating we went to Alamo so we got the food there the food was good. That's what you're paying for all right you're not paying because the movie is going to be the greatest movie of all time. I do think we should go see Inside Out 2. I don't think we should I think we should wait because my sister and Zeus went to see it

[00:06:41] and they said that it's not very good compared to the first one. That's what you said but the box office numbers it is the largest movie launch since Barbie came out. So what people are paying money to go see a bad movie and then they see the movie and they go that wasn't as good. That doesn't mean shit that just means the first movie was really good. We're proving your same concept right here. People think the movie is going to be good so they go and see it and then they go oh that wasn't as good I could have waited. But I've heard a lot of people say it's really good so like who's a lot of people.

[00:07:11] Like people online. They talk to you online. I don't talk to people. Yeah that's what I thought. But it. I would like to see it. I would like to see it too but you just said movies are expensive and you don't know how well it was going to be. I bet the reviews for this movie were really good too but you just said it wouldn't have been worth it so. I don't know I bet it has like a 50 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. I bet if you read the book you probably want to go see it because you know reading books before the movie

[00:07:44] is always the best route to go. She's googling something now. No I'm looking at the Rotten Tomato for it. For what the Watchers? Even lower than I thought 32 percent tomato meter 53 percent audience score. Yeah what about Inside Out 2. Find that one. Let's find it out and see what's going on because like you said oh no we can't do it. Rotten Tomatoes has a 91 percent tomato meter and a 96 percent audience score. Yeah it just came out give it a week.

[00:08:16] And a lot of people said like if you have your own daughter though like it hits a little bit harder. So maybe that's why. If you have a daughter going through puberty the movie about puberty is harder. All right you heard it. It's a hard movie daughter. That's what it is. Don't say things like that. What? That's what you just described it as. But it was fun to go to the movies though we don't we don't do that a lot I think the last thing we had seen was really Wonka. That's what I'm saying you're paying for the experience not necessarily the movie although Wonka was a much better movie.

[00:08:50] Wonka was a great movie. That movie made me sob. And you didn't even want to go to Wonka. I just the concept didn't appeal to me. I'm not like a huge Willy Wonka person. You think you got fan clubs and shit? What do you mean? I wasn't a huge Willy Wonka fan either but I was like oh cool. I feel like a lot of people grew up watching the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka and then the Johnny Depp Willy Wonka and they really loved it. I liked them but I wasn't like oh yay Willy Wonka. I wasn't like that either but I thought it was a cool concept and been like oh cool like a Wonka film.

[00:09:20] And it looked interesting based off of the trailers so I wanted to go see it. I didn't see anything else about it. I didn't read the book first. I just thought you know what the movie looks good let's go see it. That's what we thought and it was a good movie and you liked it.

[00:09:34] Well listen I just hope that one day when my book is out and they make it into a movie that people will choose to read my book before they watch the movie.

[00:09:40] Mm hmm yeah that way they can spoil it and be like the book was so much different or better. No the book is not always better.

[00:09:50] In this case it was. The ending of the movie so I liked the movie up until about the ending frankly like the ending is just like it was too neat I feel like.

[00:10:00] Like they made it kind of like a hopeful nice ending which is fine but it didn't have the same like weight that the ending of the book did.

[00:10:09] I think it's they knew they weren't gonna get a sequel so ending it the way the book did they were like yeah this is not gonna work out for us you know. But you should read it it's on our Kindle. Nope can't do it. Why not.

[00:10:21] I got to read other stuff first. I'm in the middle of reading the Jungle Book right now and then right after that apparently I have to read a fairy porn book and then. I got a read. It's been like a year since you said you would read it.

[00:10:31] That's not true. I said I would read it and would meaning future tense so you're welcome. And now she's about to release more books so you're gonna have even like more backlog. Oh no. I have things to do in my free time that I can look forward to.

[00:10:48] That sounds terrible really. I just. Listen I have this need to consume everything. Like what if I die and I haven't played all the games or watched all the movies or read all the books that I want to. Reincarnate do it again.

[00:11:03] Start with a different game this time. Reincarnation. And you know what it is as you're like oh no I don't have time to do all this and then I come home and I'm like what are you doing and you're like playing the sims. And watching Grey's Anatomy.

[00:11:13] Wow that's crazy you were doing that two years ago too. Wow weird. No but this time they released a horse and you can it's a horse pack. There's a horse in the game now and it mostly works. You're like wow.

[00:11:26] Mostly installed installed extreme violence and the prostitution mod for the Sims. So I changed it slightly therefore it's different. You want to play like the 18 games that just came out on games fast. No there's there's prostitution now in this game. Oh OK. Because I want GTA but like.

[00:11:44] It's slightly different. What are you playing besides the Sims right now. Fallout OK. No I'm playing Power World we're playing the quarry. And right before we started those a day and a half ago. You were playing. Fallout. Yep I remember. Fallout 76. Yes. What does that mean?

[00:12:05] I haven't played all the content in that. All the content in that they're not making more content. Yes they are they literally just release a new content. No no like not new games. They're working on microtransactions. That's what they're working on right now.

[00:12:18] They're not working on a new game. So you're working. So what you're doing is playing the same game. Same as the Sims it's the same shit. They're like look a small microtransaction with a new design for a Nuka Cola machine. Quick get in here.

[00:12:33] The same thing as the Sims you're playing old games with slightly new stuff instead of getting through that backlog of different games different genres expanding your ability to comprehend and enjoy video games. That's what you were just complaining about. I did also try.

[00:12:50] I have a huge backlog of video games. Shut up. What is it called? Lords of the Fallen was that it? Is that the one I told you about? Yeah that's the one you tried. I didn't like it. That's good though. You tried something new you didn't like it.

[00:13:06] You went back to your old favorites. I mean you could try another game but that's cool too. So it was described as like a Souls like game which I was like OK I don't I didn't hate Dark Souls.

[00:13:16] I don't love it like I never finished it but I did enjoy playing it for a little bit. The only thing I didn't like about Dark Souls was the online thingy. So like if you haven't played it people can just join in your game and

[00:13:30] kill you and make you have to go back to the beginning. Yeah it's like that online like the invasion sort of mode or whatever it's called. But you can't like turn it off. Yeah. I hated that. I was like I'm not good enough for this shit.

[00:13:43] I just want to play your game. And the fan base for Dark Souls is like honestly one of the most toxic on the planet like. Yeah it kind of sucks. But so I tried this and it was exactly like Dark Souls like literally the

[00:13:55] tutorial was almost like the same as Dark Souls. And I was like OK. You should try. You should try playing Lies of P. It's on games fast. It's about Pinocchio but it's a Souls like game but it's I think it's all offline. OK. It's got an interesting story.

[00:14:11] I read like the storyline like the plot of it basically. It's got a cool story to it. Basically what it was is like machines are coming to life because they're stealing souls from people or something like that and then you

[00:14:23] have to go and like help reverse the world and put give people souls back. But it's pretty cool story. I watched a little bit of gameplay. It looked good but I'm not a huge Souls fan so I never tried it. Yeah I like it.

[00:14:35] It's hard and frustrating sometimes but like you know it's fun gameplay like once you get to know what you're doing. You should try it. Let us know how it is. Yeah. And then we started the quarry. The quarry is good.

[00:14:46] A lot of a lot of dumb people in the quarry. Yeah no. And then like I was having trouble with the control zippers so I kept doing things on accident that I didn't. I did this my pet peeve in those style of games is they have a set

[00:14:59] camera angle sometimes. I'm like if you're gonna have a set camera angle just set the camera angle and then change it. But as a set camera angle and then you push forward and then it'll change the camera angle so now instead of walking forward you can

[00:15:11] see the character physically walking to the right. But if you stop and then push right then they go the opposite way of what you were just walking and you're like all right. It's very annoying. Because it's the controls are still character oriented not camera

[00:15:24] oriented and it's annoying to me. I'm like this doesn't. I hate it. I wish there was just a free floating third person camera behind them and I don't need fixed perspectives unless there's something important that the game needs to show me but then it

[00:15:36] should just be like for a split second and then cut back to me. That's what it should be. I hate this like oh half the time you get to follow your character out in third person but if you're in a certain room you have to

[00:15:47] look from the perspective of the shelf on the wall. Why? But then if you walk up to the shelf the camera flips around and you're in third person again. And it's never that important. Why? Yeah. And then it's just you staring at an empty shelf that you can't

[00:15:59] interact with and then you walk away from the shelf and it goes back to the perspective of the shelf and you're like all right cool what was the point? Is that shelf watching me? Yeah I'm like what is the point of that?

[00:16:10] But we're having fun playing and I like hearing Jordan make fun of all the characters so. They're also dumb. They're really all so dumb. This whole game is teenagers are going to die in the woods because this dude got broken up with and he got butthurt about it.

[00:16:24] That's it. That's the whole game. They're all gonna die because he got butthurt about being broken up with. They're not all gonna die though like we're gonna save him. I don't know. There wasn't a lot of opportunity to save him when

[00:16:36] he like that very first encounter he got mauled and you're like oh couldn't have done anything anyway. Well now he's gonna get infected. That's fine too kill him. He'll probably have to stay with the creepy counselor. He was dumb anyway he made out with somebody else when

[00:16:49] he liked it. He made out with some girl when he liked a different girl. I'm like why would you make out with her? Okay here's the thing it was like truth or dare but like he could have like it was like to kiss right or something like that.

[00:17:00] No they pull on make out it's like you could have just kissed her and been like okay that's enough. Yeah. Like that's totally on him. If I were the girl that liked him I wouldn't forgive him but like no man like you literally just

[00:17:10] made out with someone else even though you said you liked me like man get out of here. I just I think that like I would be more mad at my friend. She's like I did it so you would make a move on her. Yeah. Bitch what?

[00:17:20] She was like well I did it so that you would get jealous and actually tell him you like him I'm like why wouldn't you just dare her to kiss him then like what? Hobos. Yeah. What about hobos? What new hobbies do we have?

[00:17:35] You don't have any new hobbies. We're trying to think of new hobbies that's why I wrote it down. Stop looking at this screen look at this screen. No you can't. You have to learn. You can't crochet. I can learn to crochet. You haven't.

[00:17:46] You got so many tools and opportunities for it and you were just like look at all this yarn I bought. It's gonna weigh down my nightstand and then you put it in there. I do really enjoy scrapbooking. Okay we're packing right now because we're moving.

[00:17:59] There's an entire box that's just Ripley's craft projects and half of them is just stuff that's never been used. Like yarn for crochet. There's some like the wax the melt the wax melting I think is the most useful one because we've had you reasons to use it.

[00:18:18] Everything else in there I'm like what is all this stuff. Like there's a camera in there. There's a bunch of like random stuff free of yarn. I'm like what are we doing with all this craft stuff. I would like to get like a rolling craft thing

[00:18:30] like you know the ones that. Why does everything got to be on wheels for you. I need a coffee cart. I need a rolling craft center. Did I even ask for the coffee cart? Yes. No you asked for it and then I had to get one

[00:18:40] and then file off the end. Yes I did. It was Christmas. You didn't have to hurt yourself for me. You know what somebody's got to hurt somebody around here. OK why. That's the way the world works. OK. What. It's true. No. Yeah.

[00:18:58] You think if I just bought something off Amazon nobody's going to get hurt. Think of the children in Manila that have to package all your things. Somebody's getting hurt. All right. If I take the blood maybe they got hurt a little less. I don't think that's how.

[00:19:11] Well if I return it they're going to be like come on you Juan you you you made this thing correctly they returned it and then they get slapped over the head you know. No. Yeah. You don't know you've never visited. How many of your products are coming from

[00:19:25] the Philippines. I don't know it's just an example. Some of them say made in China. You return things to China they get mad. But you said Manila. Yeah. That's an example. What. You think just poverty exists in only one country like you know it's from the

[00:19:40] Philippines or from China. It exists in all countries. That's what I'm saying that we're the only ones. I'm just saying as an example some little kids somewhere like got hit in the head because you return to products because I didn't feel like

[00:19:53] hurting myself to make it fit where it needed to be. OK. See sure. You'd have been like this doesn't fit let's return it and be like there goes his salary for the month you just hurt him. But I mean like you know the craft

[00:20:05] carts where like each one's like a colored drawer and you can put stuff in it. It's got like 12 drawers. Oh yes I need rainbow drawers in the house. That's right. What are you talking about. I'm gonna look up craft drawers. I bet you will find exactly what I'm

[00:20:18] talking about. I bet I'll find Kraft Mac and cheese. No because it's C.R.A. I like what I said. Craft drawers. Oh they have a white one like this one. Racist. Racist. Why do you need it on wheels though. Because the night when I'm on the

[00:20:39] apartment moving around the apartment you're not crafting in every corner. When I was thinking of like this is what they normally look like. You're not crafting in every corner though. Like what do we what are you doing that you need to roll it around.

[00:20:49] I don't have to just be in the office like I could pull it out to the living room and craft no no. That's how we get things everywhere. All right. Right now you got crafts everywhere. Look there's crafts over here there's crafts over there there's a camera

[00:21:02] over there that I had to put in a different box because you didn't package it up with all your craft stuff. Because I didn't know where to put all the I was going to put in like tiny boxes. Tiny boxes yes. OK we're about to move

[00:21:13] and Ripley for the past month has been saving everything box shaped because she's like we'll use this in the move. I'm like it's a box that's only like fucking the size of a remote controller. She's like we can use it to pack

[00:21:25] stuff. I'm like yeah we can pack one remote control in there throw the box away. We don't need that box. No it's useful. I'm like no it's not. We have giant storage containers where you just put everything in there and then you have one box

[00:21:37] instead of a box with 18 smaller boxes in it. Well whatever dumb. We don't need these boxes. Maybe we do. We don't. OK bye bye. We don't need boxes. We need large. Why grand a large boxes largo. Anyway what hobbies are you going to start.

[00:21:56] I don't need more hobbies I have plenty of hobbies. OK which hobbies are you going actually use and enjoy. Video games. And reading and watching movies. Watching movies. Is that a hobby. Yes I like that's a pastime. It can be a hobby. No not for you.

[00:22:17] I can write articles about the movies I watch. That's not going to be fun for you then you're going to turn it into a writing job. Well I need some job. Even reading I feel like is taking its toll on you nowadays because you're like I

[00:22:28] have to read so that I can get better at writing. Reading is hard because like if I read a really really good book I'm like I just get upset because I'm like why don't why doesn't my writing. You can't even enjoy books anymore you're ruining your own hobbies.

[00:22:43] I didn't even do that. You were just like this book was so good. Dang it. I'm like why is that bad. And you're like because my book's not this good. I'm like all right cool. Sorry I don't know what you want from me.

[00:22:55] Do other authors feel that way like you guys read books and go wow. I hate myself now. And then I'm like OK well why don't you go write something then like write a little short story and you're like no the book was too good.

[00:23:09] I won't write like that. My cool. Sorry for the encouragement. I'll be over here. Listen depression is a bitch. Long sullen silences. I have I just need to write like three more chapters of my book and then finish it and edit it.

[00:23:28] And I'm just like why can't I just do that. I just have to write the book. I mean not like I've done the hard part. I've written like 75 percent of it. I know. Now you're just saying. It's fine though. We're going to get lots of

[00:23:42] little short stories and you got to put them all together. I could do that. I know you can. That's why I keep suggesting it. You're like no I either write 10 words for this book or I write nothing at all. My. Cool. But normally short stories are

[00:23:59] like similar to each other in a way you know like you. They all have a similar theme or like they're the same genre. Why. Because that's typically what people do. What people like people that publish short stories like Dean Goons writes horror horror novels.

[00:24:14] So if he publishes short stories it's all like horror short stories. Why. Because that's what you do. OK. Show me the law. There's not a law. It's just like if I want to read a horror book I'm not going to go pick up a short

[00:24:27] story that has like some horror in some romance like that'd be weird. I didn't say write a multi genre short story. I said write short stories. They don't all have to be the same. You put out six different books with six different genres.

[00:24:40] Guess what you'd be like oh look she writes multiple genres. That's like a video game company was like here's this RPG. Here's another RPG and then they were just like you know what. Here's a first person shooter and everyone was like you son

[00:24:51] of a bitch you're an RPG company. Don't you dare dabble in other things. That's why a lot of authors have multiple pen names. This will be like their romance. I don't want to. It's not a lot of work. You got to remember two names.

[00:25:03] You can write it now and I believe in you. My name will be Shirley Temple. Whatever. But you know what I'm saying you're like I can't write multiple genres then I'd have multiple genres to keep track of what does that mean. Just write two little short stories.

[00:25:20] One's about a frog this one's about a hot dog. All right. Two short stories. Done. Could have my own fables. I don't care. I was talking to me about not writing a whole lot and then you're like why would I have like eight things in my idea journal.

[00:25:39] Mike so write one of those or start one of those you have to finish it all. Yeah I do have a lot of short stories started in my notes up. See you got the attention deficit. All right. You got to make up the deficit with other stories.

[00:25:53] I don't have attention deficit. You're right. You finished all the projects on time. That's not the same. Wow. And you lose attention real quick. I don't lose attention. I actually think about it all the time and hate myself for it. See. But when you come time to

[00:26:10] start it you're like but what about this? And then you'll walk off under the Dinsons and you're like but what about the new fucking Grey's Anatomy episode need to watch it. I haven't even watched it. Bridgerton came out. I need to watch all of Bridgerton right now.

[00:26:23] I did. And then read the book afterward and complain that they're different. What are you reading right now? Interesting. Hmm. Hmm. What do you make comparing it to? New season Bridgerton? Well the show was such a letdown I was like I want to read the book. Yeah.

[00:26:36] Mm hmm. You said did you hear her say that she said reread the book. She said I have all this backlog of books and video games. What are you doing this week Sims and rereading the same book. Don't worry I downloaded a slightly different mod. It's comforting.

[00:26:53] Yeah I bet it is. You're like I know it's comforting. I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like it's going to happen. It's going to be so exciting the second time.

[00:27:06] Leave me alone. No. Autism. Like what's happening in your book. I don't know. No one's written it yet. Weird. What's happening in my book is I'm trying to think plus also you gave me the feedback and now I don't know what to do. You asked for feedback. What.

[00:27:24] But now I feel like it all sucks. He said what's the feedback and I was like here's the feedback and you're like wow I'm the worst. I'm like that was never in the words that I said to you. But OK. I like the characters.

[00:27:37] I like the abilities that they had. I liked some of the interactions. Some of them kind of got skipped over. They were literally like she sent me a rough draft and it was literally like the character A talks to character B and that was

[00:27:48] what was written in the story. And I was like OK. And then the line under that says and then something happens and now they're on the beach. And I was like I'll just highlight that and be like don't forget that this part into the book later.

[00:28:02] I have some parts that are like some stuff happens. Come back later. Yeah. It literally is like I'll type this part later. I'm like all right. Sure. But yeah I guess I should do that again. What right? No like because like when I first was writing I was

[00:28:18] like if I get stuck on a part like I'll just put something like that like I'll come back later and finish it and then just go to the next part and write. But I don't know why suddenly I can't do that anymore. What's little crackhead doing?

[00:28:31] Your cat's got the tism too. She just run around all day only when you're here. All cats are autistic. It's kind of like a defining feature. No the first one I got is pretty calm and laid back. Every once in a while she'll freak out about

[00:28:44] something touching her but it's understandable when she doesn't know what's touching her. This one's yours. No she's lived with you longer than me. Don't smack me. Don't bite my nails. They aren't your nails. They are now. You don't own me because we're married. No what's yours is mine.

[00:29:00] What's mine is yours. We share all the things. Remember it was in it was in the vows. It was worded more prettily but it was in there. Oh she's thinking back now. She's like oh shit. Whatever what's next? Oh shit he's right. You can tell I'm right

[00:29:17] because the subject changes dramatically right afterward. No. Okay. Oh man. What else is going on with you? We talked about my car getting stolen last week didn't we? Yeah. I got a call from the insurance and they were like hey have you heard anything? Bless you.

[00:29:42] They're like hey have you heard anything about your car? And I was like no. No like we haven't either. Anyway we'll talk to you next week. And I was like all right thanks for the update I guess. Good good to hear from me. Sorry.

[00:29:58] You know I had a question from the crews. About what? You're very focused all of a sudden and like she's staring at me like I'm about to say something like profound. I'm not. All the ships they all said the same word on them. Did you notice that?

[00:30:14] You know what word it was? No. It was Nassau. N-A-S-S-A-U. You know what it is? Isn't it a place? It is a place. You're right. It's a port city. In the Mohamas. And I was curious. I think I've looked it up before so I had like an

[00:30:33] inkling of what was the answer but I was curious why every cruise ship said that on there. Are they all built there? They are not all built there. I think some of them were built there but they're all registered there because apparently Nassau gives incredible tax discounts

[00:30:49] for cruise ship profits and like cruise ship ownings in general and like emissions and things like that. So that makes no sense why you would register it somewhere else. Even though what about the ones in other countries? What do you mean? Like if you go on a Nordic

[00:31:07] cruise or something like that do you think they'd be registered there too? I mean probably. If it's the best place in the world to register cruise ships I don't know why you wouldn't. I mean like can you just register a ship anywhere you want?

[00:31:18] Yeah well it's not the ship itself it's the companies that own the ship so like Carnival Cruise Lines right like they have an office here but I've met you like their main tax holdings and stuff are in the Bahamas so all their ships are registered through the Bahamas.

[00:31:31] Yeah so they can like money launder basically right? Well it's to avoid taxes yeah because they don't have to pay like as high of taxes on their profits so that's what it is. Billionaire greed strikes again. Tax code. But I was curious about

[00:31:46] that so I googled it and I was like yep that's pretty much what I thought it was going to be tax evasion. But when we do it we go to jail. Mm hmm. And then what was another? I had another question I can't remember what it was.

[00:32:03] Did you write it down in your little notes thing? I probably did. Oh yeah so one of the dinners on the cruise ship I had was lamb and he came over like five minutes after giving me the lamb and he said oh here you go this is

[00:32:17] for to pair with your lamb and I was like okay I've never had anything paired with lamb before and he gave me this little dish and it had like some bright green jello in it. Mint jelly. And I was like what is this? Thanks for the spoiler.

[00:32:30] And I was like what is this and he goes oh it's mint jelly for your lamb and I was like what? So I ate it and I was like that's very minty and I would take a piece of lamb and eat it and then eat the

[00:32:41] mint and I'm like this doesn't make it better in my eyes. I'm like why is it served with mint jelly? Apparently a lot of the times lamb is cooked with mint or mint jellies or mint sauces in order to cut down on the gaminess and like strong

[00:32:57] flavor of it. Like that makes sense but why the mint jelly afterward didn't make sense to me. Plus the lamb that they were serving it was cooked it was rendered down so much that you couldn't taste any gaminess to it so it really didn't make sense

[00:33:12] that he gave me the mint jelly anyway. I thought that was strange. I looked that up the other day. I'm like hmm. Apparently it's just tradition. Yeah. No I've always seen it in like animes and shit when they serve lamb but like never had it.

[00:33:26] I like lamb but. It's all gamey for me. Yeah. Depends on how it's cooked. Speaking of which I think I told you but we went to me and some of my coworkers we went to this. This it was a Spanish restaurant. It was like imported meats from Spain

[00:33:43] and they we got we got a little crudery board with like three of their house picked cheeses to you. What it is is you pick out which meats you want and then they pair stuff on the board for you. So they'll pick out the cheeses and the

[00:33:55] like jams and jellies that will go with it. Which is nice because people pick like random stuff they won't taste good together I feel like. But so they we picked out the meats and we picked out this imported like cured leg of lamb. We picked out some

[00:34:11] imported wagyu beef and then we picked out a like select breed of pig that's only I think it was I think it's part of Spain that they're given like a very strict diet and then they cure the meat and they bring over. It's close to prosciutto but it

[00:34:25] has a slightly different flavor to it but it was good. All three of them were great. But on that menu one of the the things you could get as like an entree. It says it says it was like fried or roasted. I can't remember what it was.

[00:34:43] It said fried or roasted. It's always fried. Yeah. One of the two is is fried baby goat. And my coworker read it and he goes what a weird way to phrase that. Who wants to order fried baby goat? And I was like well they can't use

[00:34:58] like the actual term for baby goats. He's like why not? I'm like because like baby sheep are called lambs. You know easy. Baby deer they're fawns. There's a name for them but baby goats they're called kids. So if you read the menu and it just said fried kids

[00:35:15] you'd be more concerned than fried baby goats. And he's like nah it makes a lot of sense. I don't want no fried kids. What the hell? Fried kids? What the hell? What kind of restaurant is this? What do you serve me? Oh my gosh. Also just so

[00:35:30] everyone's aware a little late in the episode but this is this episode's coming out a little bit late because we last minute decided we were going to go up and visit my dad for Father's Day so we didn't get a chance to record on Father's Day

[00:35:44] but that means that you get to enjoy a little bit more time on your Monday morning before listening to our glorious voices. Yes we know how much you love being at work. Who's at work? Monday at noon? Who's working then? Also sorry for being so depressing last episode.

[00:36:01] I just do it naturally. Yeah last episode. Our connection's not poor. I don't know. That was weird. It's said okay fine damn. It says that even when I'm when I have like crappy internet it'll say that and then I'll listen to the recording afterward and it picks up

[00:36:16] everything just fine and I'm like what was the point in that? I think it's for like the video more than anything. Like we don't even use that part. Well you can't record the video. I think it's just so you can see each other.

[00:36:26] So the studio that we use it only records the audio but when you joined in with other guests they couldn't see you and one of the feedback they got was like hey can I see the people I'm talking to? Like it's very weird

[00:36:38] just to stare at a screen with their name on it. So they finally added that in. You know you can see people in the chat room or in the recording studio with you. But now it's with just us it'll just be us staring at ourselves.

[00:36:54] But it's pretty fun. Yeah that's not a big deal. I'm like do I have anything to talk about? I just feel like we're pretty busy lately. Now we've just been packing doing stuff. What did... The people next to us at the movie theater were switching stories. Now they...

[00:37:14] One of them ordered like a bunch of hot wings and I was like... Like to your left? Yeah. I was like what a weird thing to order in the movie theaters because like it's just it'll be all over your hands and everything you can't see nothing. I'm like

[00:37:28] I don't know if I like that. Like pizza sure you can pick it up eat it whatever. I'm like eh. They had some good food but I thought that was strange. I wouldn't order wings at the movies. I didn't like the cheese sticks this time. They were different

[00:37:38] than the last time I had them. Really? I thought they were really good. The last time I had them they were like regular fat cheese sticks. These ones were kind of skinny. And they were like really skinny finger like cheese sticks. I was like OK. Yeah.

[00:37:49] And they tasted different. So I don't know if they just change. If maybe it's just because the last time I went to a different location or what. But probably I mean it's got to be right. I think. I don't know. It keeps saying we're losing Internet

[00:38:03] and we don't have a connection. Let me try it out real quick. Let's see. So if none of this makes it in don't worry about it. We'll see you next week. Yeah, I guess. Quick do the outro. I don't know. Well, this has been Highless Paratel.

[00:38:23] We're not sure if any of this is recording, but if it is we hope you liked this week's episode. Our Internet is suddenly taking a dump so don't know what's going on. Yeah, I don't know what's going on right now. This is very strange. That was Jordan.

[00:38:36] I'm Ripley. We hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. Oh good. Now we're going to keep going just in case the Internet comes back. Uh, it says our Internet's fine. I don't know. We got we got a high latency.

[00:38:55] Maybe that's it. I don't know. I wonder what's going on the latency then. I don't know. Our Internet is going in and out. So if there's no exit or outro later, just use that previous one. It's fine. Well, bye guys. That's how we're done.

[00:39:11] No, I just said we're going to use that outro even if we keep talking because the Internet's still working. We're going to keep going until it fails. All right. We're running this train off the tracks. Just like my body. I feel like you're not failing that way.

[00:39:24] You're like what? No, like your body will keep going until it fails. Oh my gosh. That's not at all how it works. Sometimes you run right into a wall. When's the last time we ran right into a wall? Your body, not you. Oh, oh my gosh.

[00:39:39] And it was a few weeks ago. Put that down. You don't need to. I'm trying to find things to talk about. Shut up. You don't need to find things to talk about. Just talk about things. What happened to you that was funny this week? Nothing.

[00:39:49] You were too depressed. All right. Well, I don't know what you think is funny about my life. I go to work. I come home and play video games. You just don't. I feel like you just don't look for the funny things because every time I visited

[00:40:00] you at work for more than like an hour and I'll just sit there and be on my phone. I see funny things happening all around you. All around you. Last time, though, I was talking with those kids and those kids were interacting pretty funny.

[00:40:12] They were just standing there, but you're like, they're so loud and annoying. I'm like, just listen to the conversation for like 10 seconds. That was pretty funny. One of them was like insulting the other ones like bow tie. And the other one was like, shut up.

[00:40:21] At least I have class. And I was like, all right, cool. I wouldn't, you know, you can spin that. You could talk about that. But no, you're like, these kids are annoying. Literally so busy at work. I don't have the time. I know you only pay attention

[00:40:34] to the negative things. You're like this person was annoying. That coworker was annoying. She didn't do her job right. But man, you could have laughed and been like the other day I messed up the cold brew machine by accident. This is what happened.

[00:40:46] Well, I don't mess things up. What did you break the other day? You sent me a picture of it. At work. What was it? What'd you break? You said you pulled the line out of something. Oh, yeah. The cold brew line. Did you notice that?

[00:40:59] How I got the details exactly right and she still didn't remember. I said you broke the cold brew line or the cold brew machine and she's like, the what? Yeah, OK. So here's the thing. I was trying to change the keg in the cold brew machine.

[00:41:10] We're having keggers? All right. Well, it's like a keg and you connect the two different lines to it, you know, like one's a gas line and one's like a like a I don't know something else. And so I was trying to get

[00:41:23] there was like they were putting two in the little fridge at a time and the second one got stuck. And so I was trying to pull it out. And when I finally got it untangled, it just also happened to pull out one of the lines with it

[00:41:36] and completely detached it from the refrigerator. And I was like, oh. Oh, no. That's broken. So I called it in and I was like, somebody broke the cold brew machine. I won't name any names. But it's broken. Hey, I'm proud of you. For what?

[00:41:56] You told that whole story about something that happened to you. It's crazy. What's in my memory is just shit. I'm sorry. I know. But I tell you once I'll be like, hey, what did your annoying coworker do today? And you can tell me

[00:42:09] like their whole day of events and everything annoying that they did. Like, do you see the difference? Like you're remembering the wrong shit. All right. Yeah, I can do that. Can't remember a funny story about breaking cold brew machines because you're like, oh, no trauma.

[00:42:23] But it is easier to remember negative things. I know you've been doing it your whole life. You need to stop that. Not stop remembering it, but like start remembering other things, you know. I'll work on it in 30. Oh, whatever. Like she's lying to you every week

[00:42:42] when she's like, nothing happened to me. I'm like, something happened to you. Like, I don't know. You know what happened to me? Trauma. My brain physically does not hold memories anymore. Something funny that happened to me. We were we got a new mission set, right?

[00:42:55] So we were doing tryouts for it with some of the guys. Yeah, like it's a more physically demanding aspect of the job. So we were like, hey, you need to be really physically fit to do this. So we set up like an endurance test basically.

[00:43:08] And we're like, hey, you need to do this endurance test if you can pass it in a certain amount of time. We'll let you on this team that you'll be on. And the endurance test was like we put them in their regular work uniform, right?

[00:43:21] And we're like, hey, you have to do all these physical events. It's like five events, five or six, something like that. Wasn't super intense, but it was, you know, it's pretty hot out. Like if you can't do this when it's hot out,

[00:43:32] then you can't do it when it's hotter and you have more equipment on because we didn't put them in the vests or like carrying equipment. They they were just, you know, playing. And so we put them in this test.

[00:43:46] And of course, we have the medics there and everybody just in case, you know, we, you know, mitigate risk. So they have like some ice sheets and they have blankets. They have coolers to dunk your hands in and head in if you get too hot or whatever.

[00:43:57] And so the first event was some burpees. They had to do like 20 burpees and then they had to run a mile. And so halfway through this mile, we were at I was standing at the halfway point. And so we see people going by at half a mile.

[00:44:14] And there are some people that look like they were struggling hard. Right. And I was like, yeah, some of them are. We knew some of them were going to make it. But that's why we have the water and ice and all that stuff there.

[00:44:24] Well, halfway through, I didn't realize it, but there was two chaplains standing right behind me. And they're like the religious services that are offered. They were standing behind me. I think they were just there because they don't have unless people are visiting them or they're giving a service.

[00:44:39] They don't have like a ton of things to do. So they're just like to visit soldiers and make sure they're doing well and whatnot and keeping up with everything. So they they they were standing right behind me. And I didn't realize that they were right behind me.

[00:44:55] And they're usually like, you know, they're they're the religious services. So they're supposed to be like the most, you know, upstanding members. And like, I feel like I feel like in most people's eyes, they should be like the most like straightforward and upstanding members of, you know, whatnot.

[00:45:11] Yeah. A lot of respect and whatnot to them. Anyway, at the halfway point, I see a couple of people struggling and they're struggling hard. And I was like, man, I hope they don't fall over or pass out and die. That'd be terrible.

[00:45:27] And or no, what I said, man, some of these guys look like they're dying. And I said it to I said it to my sergeant who was helping me evaluate. I'm like, yes, some of these guys look like they're dying.

[00:45:37] And then over my shoulder, not to me, but the two chaplains were talking to each other. And I heard one of them just turn to the other one and go, well, at least we'll be here to give the last rights if we need it.

[00:45:48] Like, what did you just make a joke about these guys dying? And I looked over and I was like, yeah, he's like my seniors. I was like, what did you just say that, sir? He goes, oh, a little too loud on that one.

[00:46:03] I was like, all right, sir. He probably said shit like that all the time under his breath. It was so funny because he said it to the other one. And I was like, I like you guys. Oh, man, they're so funny.

[00:46:13] They're both the chaplains we have are great. They're so good. They come over and visit us a lot because right now we're the only company working on that property. So they come over all the time. And at the at the beginning of it, they're like, yeah,

[00:46:29] we used to have like three or four companies that were here working. Is it just you guys now? And we're like, yeah, it's just us. And they they asked us, you know, why all the changes in this?

[00:46:37] We told them, OK, well, since you guys are the only company, I guess we're exclusive to you guys now, since you guys are the only ones here. And what just let us know what you need or what events you guys got planned are going on.

[00:46:48] We'll be there. We will come to all of them, you know. And I was like, oh, cool. I was like, yeah, sure. We got a ton of like different training events. I'm sure they love to have you there for like the moral support and everything.

[00:46:58] It was just so funny. He's like, yeah, we'll be here to give last rights. And I was like, what? LOL. OK, my bad. Just in case you guys die of heat stroke. Ha ha. Pretty much. Yeah. And I was like, is that how you spell it?

[00:47:11] I feel like it is. And yeah, I thought that was pretty good. It was a good thing. Well, the Internet held up, but that's all the time we have. So Ripley is going to do the actual outro this time. It's going to mirror the other one precisely.

[00:47:29] So if you listen to both of them at the same time, it'll match up. Don't worry about it. Well, thank you so much for listening to Mindless Prattle. That's Jordan. I'm Ripley. Moist? Oh, I'm sorry. You're the worst. What happened? That's Jordan.

[00:47:44] I thought we were describing each other. I'm sorry. I'm Ripley. And this has been Mindless Prattle. We hope you enjoyed the episode. The moist podcast that always full of excitement. No. OK. The dry podcast that's always full of moist. So dry.

[00:48:01] Come back next week for more moist encounters of the moist kind. Like cake or something. Right, right. Not the prostitute mod. We'll install that one later. Hey, my prostitute stand makes a lot of money. I bet. I have her set to max profit. Yeah. Is that a setting?

[00:48:23] Yeah, you can control how much they get paid. Can I get that setting in real life? I'd like max profit. Thank you. Can I use the mother lode sheet? Oh, boy. But we hope you guys have a great day and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.

[00:48:36] And if you are here as in the prostitute mod in real life, have fun out there. Don't forget about the profits. Set it to max, apparently. Bye.