Hello Mindless Peeps. This week we have a true treat for your ears. You can learn all about casual alcoholism, galloping crocodiles, and so much more! Catch Jordon being annoying and Ripley being hopped up on coffee. If that's not enough, we discuss some facts that will wow your ears.
If you liked what you heard and want to see more head on over to mindlessprattle.com. If you've got a message to share with the world and don't know where to start, check out mindlessprattle.com/resources for a few incredibly helpful guides and services with everything you'll need to get your podcast journey started. Thank you for joining in and be sure to check out twitch.tv/ripleyshaine for more mindless adventures.
[00:00:13] You gotta stop watching that video. You gotta stop watching that video. I'm not watching a video. Well, then it's a good thing you stopped, isn't it?
[00:00:25] Stop. Would you stop messing with my stuff? No, you stop. It's our stuff, dear. You want that? You want that tape? No, not at all. Exactly. That's my stuff. Stop pushing me around. What do you mean? I'm using my armrest. Come back. No, no. Come back, armrest. I'm not your armrest. No, you're storage. No, my God, shut up. This is armrest. Look. Fuck. Look. Leave me alone. Just watch.
[00:00:44] Calm down and look. You go like this. Now I have armrest. Oh, my God. I don't want to do your armrest. I'm not talking about you. Your storage. Lord have mercy. Does he control my storage? Why are we talking to the Lord? This is a podcast. We're not talking to anybody. But each other. I'm glad you threw that end part in there. I'm like, all right, fine. I'll talk to me. I didn't know that sounds strange. But each other. The Lord has no place in my heart anymore.
[00:01:13] No, oh, my God. It's like that one time in high school when your Spanish teacher was like, leave room for Jesus while we were hugging.
[00:01:20] Who? Your Spanish teacher. Which one? I don't know their name. But I think it was like junior year. And we were like hugging outside of your class downstairs in the right hallway.
[00:01:32] Oh, thank God. Now you've mentioned the hallway. Let me go right back there in my mind. I don't remember the numbers, but like, you know, like the bottom section.
[00:01:39] Oh, yeah. Hold on. I'm picturing it in my head. Yep. That's a hallway. And then their classroom was on the corner. There were kids there too, right? Shut up. Walls. They had walls in the hallway. Their classroom was on the corner.
[00:01:50] Their classroom was on the corner. I just don't know their name because I didn't say Spanish in high school.
[00:01:54] Yeah. I had corner classroom hallway Spanish. So. But we were hugging and they were like, leave room for Jesus. And we were like, okay, no.
[00:02:03] All of them. Weirdo.
[00:02:07] I know I said weird.
[00:02:10] Because, I mean, there's just, we only need room for each other.
[00:02:17] Yeah. Okay.
[00:02:18] Joke's on them because we're married now.
[00:02:20] Yeah. Do the intro, married lady.
[00:02:22] Well, this is Mindless Prattle. I'm Ripley. That's Jordan. I'm the prettier one.
[00:02:28] Debatable.
[00:02:29] And today we're going to be talking about stuff and things.
[00:02:31] Yeah.
[00:02:33] Okay. So, I learned some fun facts.
[00:02:35] Okay.
[00:02:35] Well, stop that. It's so annoying.
[00:02:38] Stop what?
[00:02:39] What are you talking about?
[00:02:41] Are you okay, ma'am?
[00:02:42] No.
[00:02:43] You're bothering my eyes.
[00:02:46] Got it.
[00:02:47] Now what?
[00:02:48] Okay. So, did you know if you give an octopus LSD, they become really friendly and they'll hug each other?
[00:02:59] Because they're normally very solitary.
[00:03:01] Yeah. I learned that in hallway Spanish.
[00:03:04] Guess how they learned that?
[00:03:07] Was it peanut butter sandwiches?
[00:03:08] They gave a bunch of octopi LSD.
[00:03:10] Oh, I was so close.
[00:03:12] Thank goodness you used meso-bite.
[00:03:15] Yeah. And then when it's the color changing ones, if they have LSD, they start like rapidly shifting colors.
[00:03:22] The color changing ones?
[00:03:24] Yeah.
[00:03:24] You know, have you ever seen those?
[00:03:26] Yes.
[00:03:27] I don't know the names of them.
[00:03:28] Oh, the ones that are like the ones that everybody use camouflage?
[00:03:32] Yeah.
[00:03:34] Color changing.
[00:03:35] I was just seeing that video.
[00:03:36] I think we talked about it.
[00:03:37] That woman's like, oh, you have such a pretty octopus.
[00:03:39] Pick it up.
[00:03:40] And then it's like her filming her daughter picking up a blue ring octopus.
[00:03:44] Yeah.
[00:03:44] Your kid's gonna die.
[00:03:45] Put that down.
[00:03:47] But, okay.
[00:03:48] So, apparently their ability to rapidly change color and blend into their surroundings is called camouflaging.
[00:03:56] But octopi...
[00:03:58] You remember seconds ago when I said the ones that can camouflage?
[00:04:01] I'm so good at this.
[00:04:02] But it says why.
[00:04:03] Like, they have...
[00:04:06] There's over 300 species of octopus.
[00:04:10] And...
[00:04:10] God, this is so many words.
[00:04:12] I'm trying to like skim through it.
[00:04:14] What do you try...
[00:04:14] What information are you trying to find right now?
[00:04:16] Why they can change colors so they don't get eaten?
[00:04:18] That's why.
[00:04:19] That's the reason they're blending in.
[00:04:21] So, they have chromatophores, which are tiny color changing organs that are dotted throughout their skin.
[00:04:27] So, that's why they have like little dots all over themselves.
[00:04:30] Okay.
[00:04:31] That is what changes the colors.
[00:04:32] I thought you were looking for why they change colors.
[00:04:34] No.
[00:04:35] Like, so they don't die.
[00:04:36] Yeah.
[00:04:36] That's why.
[00:04:36] I was trying to figure out like how does it happen.
[00:04:38] But then this fucking article just wanted you to keep reading it.
[00:04:41] So, it was like...
[00:04:42] And here's why.
[00:04:43] And then it was go to the next part and it would be like...
[00:04:45] Something irrelevant.
[00:04:46] Like when you're on a cooking recipe website and they give you their whole life backstory before letting you look at the fucking recipe.
[00:04:51] Yeah.
[00:04:52] It was like that.
[00:04:52] Nowadays, if I have a recipe that I'm looking for and I find like four online, it doesn't matter the reviews.
[00:04:59] It doesn't matter like the pictures if it looks good.
[00:05:03] What matters is if I click on it and there's a little button that says jump to recipe, I'll use that recipe.
[00:05:08] If it doesn't, I'm closing out of your website and I'm going to a different recipe.
[00:05:12] That's it.
[00:05:12] I just use the books though.
[00:05:13] I'm not scrolling through a life story for it like you said.
[00:05:17] Speaking of ads, did you see they apparently in Windows 11, they show you ads in the start menu?
[00:05:24] Is that a thing that yours does?
[00:05:26] Yeah.
[00:05:27] Okay.
[00:05:27] So, I have Windows 10.
[00:05:29] My computer can't upgrade to Windows 11.
[00:05:32] It lacks the required hardware.
[00:05:34] Are you talking about it like as a bad thing or like what are you trying to...
[00:05:37] A bad thing.
[00:05:37] Like they're putting ads in start menus.
[00:05:39] So, Windows 10 does not do that but apparently Microsoft is pushing an update to all Windows 10 users that forces them to see ads now.
[00:05:48] Alright.
[00:05:49] Now, it sounds like the worst thing but it's like an ad that's like the size of...
[00:05:55] I don't know.
[00:05:56] It's like an inch by three inches in the bottom corner that's just like, have you seen this?
[00:06:00] Like that's all it is.
[00:06:01] That's how it starts.
[00:06:02] And as soon as you click on it, you're like, alright, cool.
[00:06:04] That's how it starts and then eventually...
[00:06:06] It's no different.
[00:06:07] You're in a world like the outer worlds.
[00:06:09] It's no different than you having a widget on there that shows you an article from Wikipedia or a picture of the day with a quote of the day.
[00:06:18] Like it's the same thing to me.
[00:06:20] As long as you click past it, it doesn't bother me.
[00:06:23] Like it's just words on the screen that I skip past and then put in my password.
[00:06:28] Okay, but not everybody is as intelligent as you are.
[00:06:31] Intelligence has nothing to do with it.
[00:06:32] I'm just trying to get into my computer.
[00:06:34] Do you turn on your computer and stare at the start screen and be like, oh, that's what time it is?
[00:06:39] No, you click enter and then you put in your password and get on with your computer.
[00:06:42] I just feel like we shouldn't have to see ads on a computer we already have paid for and that we own.
[00:06:47] You don't own the operating system.
[00:06:50] That's completely different.
[00:06:51] You own the hardware.
[00:06:53] You can do whatever you want with that.
[00:06:54] But there's that agreement when you turn on the computer that says, here's our terms of use for Microsoft for using Windows.
[00:07:02] And in there is their terms of use.
[00:07:04] It's their software.
[00:07:05] The only people in the world that have the right to change that software is China because they bought the software.
[00:07:11] What?
[00:07:12] Yeah, you don't know that?
[00:07:13] No.
[00:07:13] Every Microsoft computer that's running off of a Windows whatever Windows is owned by Microsoft.
[00:07:20] And they're the only ones with the source code.
[00:07:23] Except for China.
[00:07:24] China bought the source code and so they changed it.
[00:07:27] So China's the only entity that has their own Windows source code.
[00:07:32] Jesus.
[00:07:33] So they can do whatever they want with it.
[00:07:35] And that's what they use to spy on people more than likely.
[00:07:38] I wish I could use Linux.
[00:07:40] Linux, but I don't know anything about installing it or doing it.
[00:07:45] Because I know a lot of coders use it and we just use it for my coding class.
[00:07:49] Why do you need to use it?
[00:07:50] I just think that Windows is kind of annoying sometimes.
[00:07:55] But I've used it for so long.
[00:07:57] You put up with a lot of annoying things though, so it's fine.
[00:08:01] Hey.
[00:08:02] Hey.
[00:08:03] So.
[00:08:04] What?
[00:08:07] Did you know that crocodiles can gallop like horses?
[00:08:10] Yes.
[00:08:10] It's very frightening.
[00:08:12] I don't want to see it.
[00:08:13] No, I haven't.
[00:08:14] I just saw that online earlier and I was like, what the fuck?
[00:08:16] You should see it.
[00:08:17] It's pretty good.
[00:08:17] And I pictured an alligator going.
[00:08:19] You know, I've probably seen it when I was a kid.
[00:08:21] I assume Steve Irwin might have shown it.
[00:08:24] Steve Irwin might have shown it.
[00:08:25] Or Steve Irwin.
[00:08:26] Yeah.
[00:08:27] Same thing with hippos.
[00:08:28] Hippos can run up to 40 miles an hour.
[00:08:31] Hippos are like really dangerous, aren't they?
[00:08:33] Hippos kill more people every year than sharks do.
[00:08:36] It's crazy.
[00:08:36] That's because sharks don't give a shit if you're in the ocean.
[00:08:39] They just want you to stay away from their specific little part of the ocean.
[00:08:42] If they spill blood.
[00:08:43] Most sharks are friendly.
[00:08:44] Even when they're like hunting, they'll be hunting fish.
[00:08:47] Because they hunt things that are smaller than them or that can fit in their mouth easily.
[00:08:51] They're just like giant puppies.
[00:08:52] Giant sea puppies.
[00:08:53] I'm not going to go that far because they have lots of teeth.
[00:08:57] And they try and eat things a lot.
[00:08:59] Not as much as sharks.
[00:09:00] What?
[00:09:01] Sharks have hundreds of teeth.
[00:09:03] Yeah.
[00:09:03] Dogs have like 20.
[00:09:04] You know, sharks have been the same design for thousands and thousands and thousands of years.
[00:09:08] Close.
[00:09:09] It's been millions.
[00:09:10] But very close.
[00:09:12] Thousands to the 10th degree.
[00:09:13] Very few species haven't changed.
[00:09:15] Like alligators, crocodiles, sharks, and like jellyfish.
[00:09:21] They have not changed design in millions of years.
[00:09:24] And jellyfish are like technically immortal.
[00:09:26] Some of them are.
[00:09:27] Most of them are not.
[00:09:28] Oh.
[00:09:28] The immortal jellyfish is immortal.
[00:09:30] Most of them live very long times.
[00:09:32] Most other species.
[00:09:34] But like that's why they're washed up on shore.
[00:09:36] You find them dead.
[00:09:38] Do you think?
[00:09:39] No.
[00:09:42] Do you?
[00:09:44] Sometimes.
[00:09:44] Sometimes.
[00:09:45] Hmm.
[00:09:46] Usually what's going on in my head at any given moment is like a stream of consciousness
[00:09:49] on the left.
[00:09:50] And then on the right side, it's just like a song playing the same lane on repeat.
[00:09:54] There's like two different tracks in my brain.
[00:09:58] Where's the train at?
[00:09:59] Because it's not on either of those.
[00:10:01] That's the OCD.
[00:10:02] Oh, it's off to the side being polished still.
[00:10:05] We're like, any day now we'll put that fifth wheel on.
[00:10:07] Yeah.
[00:10:09] Oh my god.
[00:10:10] I saw the cutest thing earlier.
[00:10:11] It was about this couple in Japan.
[00:10:13] Japan, they had this like restaurant and it has a train.
[00:10:19] It has a train?
[00:10:20] Where's the other half?
[00:10:21] It has a diorama that a train goes through in Japan.
[00:10:26] Osaka.
[00:10:28] And their business.
[00:10:30] Listen.
[00:10:31] Their business.
[00:10:32] Thank you for saying the country and then the state.
[00:10:35] Well, I forgot the name of it for a second and then I was like, oh, it's Osaka.
[00:10:38] Because I want to give it credit where I can.
[00:10:40] Yeah.
[00:10:41] Yeah.
[00:10:41] And their business was failing.
[00:10:43] They weren't doing very well because of COVID and stuff.
[00:10:46] And then they find a kitten outside their door.
[00:10:51] And they decide to take it in even though it's expensive.
[00:10:55] And then after that, its mom showed up and they were taking care of her.
[00:11:00] And then all of a sudden, she brought like a whole litter of kittens.
[00:11:06] The mama cat because she trusted them now.
[00:11:08] And they decided to take care of all of them.
[00:11:11] And they posted a video online of the kittens playing with the train.
[00:11:15] And it went viral.
[00:11:17] I did see the video of the train with the cat.
[00:11:20] And I just saw an article about the couple.
[00:11:22] They were like, we don't know.
[00:11:24] We didn't know this act of kindness would like save our business.
[00:11:26] And then it's to the point where they added like an adoption part on top of the restaurant.
[00:11:33] And you can go and visit with the cats and adopt them if you want after having tea or something with them.
[00:11:38] But I just thought that was so cool.
[00:11:40] Their website's fun because like half of it is in English.
[00:11:44] Interesting.
[00:11:45] Right?
[00:11:46] Isn't that so cute?
[00:11:47] I love that.
[00:11:49] Now the cats just destroy it every day.
[00:11:51] Ah, yes.
[00:11:52] I love that.
[00:11:54] I love cats.
[00:11:56] You know how like you're in a game, right?
[00:12:00] And then.
[00:12:01] Currently?
[00:12:02] You look up from possibly.
[00:12:04] And then you look up and you're like, oh, wow, it's midnight.
[00:12:07] And I haven't eaten since 3 p.m.
[00:12:09] Oh, yeah.
[00:12:10] And then you're like, okay, I should eat something.
[00:12:13] And you go over to the kitchen because you want food.
[00:12:18] And.
[00:12:19] What?
[00:12:20] Where's this going?
[00:12:21] You know.
[00:12:21] Why are you laughing at it?
[00:12:23] And you want food and you open the pantry and you go, there's pasta.
[00:12:28] I can make that.
[00:12:29] It's ramen.
[00:12:30] And you start to turn and you walk towards where the pots are because you need one for
[00:12:40] ramen and other various noodle types.
[00:12:44] And then you decide it's too much.
[00:12:46] So you just make an immediate right turn and walk to the little cabinet where all the chips
[00:12:51] live.
[00:12:52] And you just eat a lot of Doritos.
[00:12:56] Is this your way of telling me you ate all the Doritos?
[00:12:59] And then you just sit there.
[00:13:02] By the way, you didn't turn any lights on in the kitchen.
[00:13:05] You're just sitting in the dark eating Doritos now.
[00:13:10] And you're sitting there going, why are these chips triangles?
[00:13:14] And.
[00:13:16] Yeah.
[00:13:17] So then you look it up.
[00:13:18] I found out why chips are triangle.
[00:13:20] Did you eat all the Doritos?
[00:13:22] Let's look at the triangle-ness of it first.
[00:13:25] I like this because the first.
[00:13:28] There's two.
[00:13:30] There's two answers.
[00:13:31] I say a bunch of weird things.
[00:13:32] There's two answers when I Googled it, right?
[00:13:35] The first one is the triangle-shaped chip was popularized by Rebecca Webb Karazama in the
[00:13:42] 1940s as a way to make use of misshapen tortillas rejected from the automatic tortilla manufacturing
[00:13:49] machine that she and her husband used to use at their tortilla factory in Los Angeles.
[00:13:56] That's great, right?
[00:13:59] Is that the origin of tortilla chips?
[00:14:01] I don't know.
[00:14:02] But I just wanted to know why they were triangles.
[00:14:05] And that gave me a good answer.
[00:14:06] And then I read down to the second answer.
[00:14:07] You know, you got to cross-read answers.
[00:14:09] Make sure that they're all accurate.
[00:14:11] And the first one I was like, this is great.
[00:14:13] Didn't even think anything of it.
[00:14:14] And then I read the second one and I was like, this is way more scientific than I cared about
[00:14:20] chips.
[00:14:21] This is the second entry.
[00:14:27] The hyperbolic parabolian shape, which is a double curvature, gives extra strength to
[00:14:32] thin chips.
[00:14:34] Which is why they are shaped that way.
[00:14:36] What kind of a second answer is that, Google?
[00:14:39] I can't even pronounce some of those words.
[00:14:42] Look.
[00:14:42] The hyperbolic paraboloid shape.
[00:14:45] There's more to that word.
[00:14:46] Blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:14:47] No.
[00:14:50] That is interesting.
[00:14:53] Yep.
[00:14:54] Mm-hmm.
[00:14:55] The shape is called hyperbolic paraboloids.
[00:14:58] It's perfect for chips, apparently.
[00:15:01] And that's what I found out last night while eating chips in the dark for dinner at midnight.
[00:15:06] You had dinner at midnight?
[00:15:07] That was the beginning of the story.
[00:15:09] Oh, my God.
[00:15:10] And it was just chips?
[00:15:12] No.
[00:15:13] I also had two cans of energy drinks.
[00:15:16] Did you play video games all night?
[00:15:18] Until midnight, yeah.
[00:15:20] Wait.
[00:15:20] Does that mean you drank my other energy drink?
[00:15:22] No.
[00:15:22] I bought three and now I'm down to one.
[00:15:24] And math-wise is I drank two yesterday.
[00:15:28] And so...
[00:15:28] You drank the blue raspberry that I was going to have?
[00:15:30] No.
[00:15:31] I did not.
[00:15:32] What are you talking about?
[00:15:33] You drank that.
[00:15:35] Mm-hmm.
[00:15:35] Uh-huh.
[00:15:36] There were four.
[00:15:37] No, because we just bought another one.
[00:15:38] No.
[00:15:39] There were four.
[00:15:40] And then I bought three more that were none of them were that.
[00:15:44] Remember?
[00:15:45] I remember because I poured one into the glass.
[00:15:47] It was the citrus one.
[00:15:48] It was before you went to work.
[00:15:49] The second one was that cherry limeade one that I just finished.
[00:15:52] The third one in there is the sour lemonade one.
[00:15:57] I guess where are you?
[00:15:57] You drank the blast blue raspberry one.
[00:16:00] I watched you do it.
[00:16:02] Mm-hmm.
[00:16:03] I drank the green sour apple one.
[00:16:06] Anyway.
[00:16:07] So this is to say there's room in the pantry for some reason?
[00:16:10] And I think the best choice would be limited edition Coca-Cola zero sugar Oreos, which I just found an article about.
[00:16:20] I don't want zero sugar.
[00:16:21] They also make regular ones.
[00:16:22] Oh, okay.
[00:16:23] I'd try that.
[00:16:24] It's just this.
[00:16:25] I'd try that.
[00:16:25] Why not?
[00:16:26] Limited edition Coca-Cola Oreos.
[00:16:29] Where can we get them?
[00:16:30] I have no idea.
[00:16:31] I just saw the picture and I was like, that's a cool package.
[00:16:34] I want that.
[00:16:36] Sometimes the flavors they come up with are really gross, frankly.
[00:16:40] Yeah.
[00:16:40] I don't know.
[00:16:42] But I would try that.
[00:16:43] We should get some.
[00:16:43] I have no idea where to get those from.
[00:16:45] Plus, you probably owe me food now since you ate the Doritos.
[00:16:48] I don't owe you nothing, girl.
[00:16:51] How are you?
[00:16:52] Oreos.
[00:16:53] Oh, really?
[00:16:54] I think you owe me half the rent then.
[00:16:55] How about that?
[00:17:00] I can't afford Oreos.
[00:17:02] No, but that.
[00:17:04] I got some cash.
[00:17:05] We can go get some Oreos.
[00:17:06] Shut up.
[00:17:08] Please, sir.
[00:17:09] All I have is singles.
[00:17:10] Can I get the Coke Oreos?
[00:17:13] Did you know that Coca-Cola helps you get blood stains out of things?
[00:17:18] Yeah.
[00:17:19] Coke breaks down blood.
[00:17:20] Isn't that interesting?
[00:17:21] So the next time you find yourself in a sticky situation, you can just apply some Coca-Cola
[00:17:26] to break down the blood.
[00:17:29] Definitely not the best solution.
[00:17:31] So you should clean with Coca-Cola and then bleach.
[00:17:34] No.
[00:17:35] And then rubbing alcohol.
[00:17:36] No.
[00:17:37] Why?
[00:17:38] No.
[00:17:39] What?
[00:17:39] You should definitely start with hydrogen peroxide.
[00:17:41] Why?
[00:17:42] Because it actually breaks down blood.
[00:17:44] How do you know that?
[00:17:45] And then Coca-Cola will cleanse it further.
[00:17:49] Baking soda.
[00:17:50] And then you should wash the Coca-Cola out of your clothing or whatever you got blood
[00:17:56] stains on accidentally.
[00:17:57] Yeah.
[00:17:58] Accidentally.
[00:18:00] Which would have helped in the Battle of Megiddo.
[00:18:03] What the fuck are you talking about?
[00:18:05] Okay.
[00:18:05] I was like thinking.
[00:18:07] What a transition that was.
[00:18:08] I was thinking that too.
[00:18:10] What is one of the oldest thing that we know of?
[00:18:13] And apparently the oldest.
[00:18:14] The oldest thing we know of.
[00:18:16] Your mom.
[00:18:16] Just like in general.
[00:18:17] I was like, what are the oldest things on earth?
[00:18:19] Your mom.
[00:18:20] For some reason it brought up the oldest battle known to man.
[00:18:24] And apparently the Battle of Megiddo took place a really long ass time ago.
[00:18:30] At least give us how many years.
[00:18:31] That's the important part when talking about how long ago something was.
[00:18:35] Okay.
[00:18:36] This coming from the woman who said sharks haven't changed in thousands of years.
[00:18:41] Time is relative.
[00:18:43] Yeah.
[00:18:44] So it took place on April 16th, 1457 B.C.
[00:18:50] Okay.
[00:18:52] It was fought between Egyptian forces under the command of Pharaoh Thutmose.
[00:18:59] I'm sorry.
[00:19:00] I'm not Egyptian.
[00:19:01] I apologize to Africa.
[00:19:03] And a large rebellious coalition of Canaanite vassal states.
[00:19:07] Lied by the king of Kadesh.
[00:19:09] It is the first battle to have been recorded in what is accepted as relatively reliable detail.
[00:19:14] So 10,000 people died in this battle apparently.
[00:19:19] And then like 5,000 more were injured.
[00:19:22] So just to, I'm looking at it as well.
[00:19:24] Just to be on the safe side of things.
[00:19:26] It's also, it's just considered the first armed conflict to be recorded by eyewitnesses.
[00:19:32] What?
[00:19:33] It's definitely not the first armed conflict.
[00:19:35] The other website lied to me.
[00:19:36] It says, human warfare at a cemetery site in Sudan has identified the skeletons, mass graves
[00:19:43] of skeletons with spears and other violent deaths dating around 10,000 to 12,000 B.C.
[00:19:50] Several thousand years before that battle.
[00:19:54] Well, you know the cool fact.
[00:19:56] This is why we peer review things.
[00:19:58] Yeah.
[00:19:59] That's okay.
[00:20:00] Like this.
[00:20:01] When you find an eagle in a field and it's injured and you call the society to go, there's
[00:20:08] a bald eagle in this field and it can't fly.
[00:20:13] And then scientists come over and they look at it and they go, nope, that bald eagle is just
[00:20:17] too fat to fly.
[00:20:18] How does an eagle get fat?
[00:20:20] I don't know.
[00:20:21] This article reads, bald eagle believed to be injured in Missouri.
[00:20:24] It was just too fat to fly, according to wildlife officials.
[00:20:31] Bald eagle was found along the boundary of National Park.
[00:20:34] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:20:36] I guess it had just eaten.
[00:20:38] It was found healthy but engorged with a raccoon.
[00:20:42] It was too fat to fly.
[00:20:44] Engorged.
[00:20:44] What a great term.
[00:20:47] Look at the fucking thing.
[00:20:48] Oh my God.
[00:20:49] That's like a whole.
[00:20:50] That's a huge raccoon.
[00:20:50] Did I swallow this raccoon whole?
[00:20:52] I guess.
[00:20:53] Oh wait.
[00:20:53] You know what?
[00:20:54] I actually think I remember that from like first or second grade science class.
[00:20:59] Like I don't, I think it was owls, but owls will eat something whole and then they'll
[00:21:05] create like a little ball around it in their stomachs and it dissolves everything.
[00:21:09] I wonder if eagles do that too.
[00:21:12] I don't know.
[00:21:13] That's probably what's too fat.
[00:21:14] That's why.
[00:21:15] It couldn't dissolve the bones yet because it ate a whole fucking raccoon.
[00:21:18] Or it just ate them.
[00:21:19] That's true.
[00:21:22] But yeah, I thought that was pretty cool.
[00:21:25] And then this week I played What Remains of Edith Finch.
[00:21:33] Kind of creepy game.
[00:21:34] I'm not going to lie.
[00:21:35] Especially in the very beginning.
[00:21:37] I didn't, I said it wasn't like, the story is really good.
[00:21:40] It's really good art style.
[00:21:42] The gameplay is nice.
[00:21:43] There's nothing too complicated about it.
[00:21:45] It's not too difficult.
[00:21:46] The puzzles in there weren't like super complicated.
[00:21:48] The music was very well done.
[00:21:52] But the story itself, kind of dark.
[00:21:56] Yeah.
[00:21:56] I thought you were saying it was like sad.
[00:21:58] Because like, it isn't quite sad.
[00:22:02] It's just disturbing.
[00:22:04] It's just constant depression as well.
[00:22:06] Yeah.
[00:22:07] It's just like, the first time you're like, oh, this little baby died.
[00:22:12] And then you keep doing all the stories.
[00:22:14] And you're like, oh my fucking God.
[00:22:15] Is this family cursed?
[00:22:16] Like, what the hell?
[00:22:17] Like, so many people died.
[00:22:18] You read the description though.
[00:22:20] The description was that you're recounting the story of the last remaining person in this family.
[00:22:24] And why they're the last one left alive.
[00:22:28] And then they weren't.
[00:22:30] It's been out for a long time.
[00:22:32] Well, yeah.
[00:22:32] What's the acceptable period of time before you talk about something?
[00:22:36] Before it matters to give a spoiler.
[00:22:38] Same age as sharks, I think.
[00:22:41] No.
[00:22:42] Like, sorry.
[00:22:43] Don't spoil Romeo and Juliet for me, bro.
[00:22:46] What?
[00:22:49] I really want to get sunk in land.
[00:22:52] My favorite pronunciation.
[00:22:56] Of what?
[00:22:58] Romeo and Juliet is in Futurama.
[00:23:02] You know how like, today people will find, you know, stones or papers that are just old.
[00:23:08] And like, this word was on here.
[00:23:10] And people are like, oh, it's pronounced the.
[00:23:13] Or thy.
[00:23:13] Or whatever the fuck it was, right?
[00:23:15] It's fine.
[00:23:17] So.
[00:23:18] We don't know how things are pronounced.
[00:23:19] Not all of them.
[00:23:21] Yeah.
[00:23:21] I just mean like, it's not just like, that's how we decided.
[00:23:23] Like, there's historical precedent behind it.
[00:23:27] Sure.
[00:23:27] But you can historically be wrong.
[00:23:29] You know.
[00:23:30] Okay.
[00:23:30] Just like, anyway.
[00:23:32] So in Futurama, they, they're talking about things from the 20th century.
[00:23:38] And one of them is Romeo and Juliet.
[00:23:40] Yeah.
[00:23:41] And they just, they pronounce it all, everything that they see from the past incorrectly.
[00:23:46] It's like.
[00:23:48] They go.
[00:23:49] Oh, yeah.
[00:23:49] The death scene from Romeo and Julie T.
[00:23:54] She goes, what?
[00:23:55] Yeah.
[00:23:56] Julie T.
[00:23:57] By Will.
[00:23:57] I am Shakespeare.
[00:24:00] I don't remember that episode.
[00:24:02] It's pretty good.
[00:24:02] That sounds hilarious though.
[00:24:04] And it does be from Romeo and Julie T.
[00:24:07] Like, all the time I'll find myself saying a quote from Futurama though.
[00:24:11] And I'm like, oh, Jordan's in my head.
[00:24:14] What quote?
[00:24:14] I don't know.
[00:24:15] It just depends on the situation.
[00:24:18] Like, I think about that quote by Bender.
[00:24:20] They're like, afterlife.
[00:24:22] Go on.
[00:24:22] I don't want to get it wrong.
[00:24:24] What do you mean?
[00:24:26] Like, doesn't he say like, if I thought I had to do this twice, I'd kill myself right now.
[00:24:31] I don't know specific words.
[00:24:31] It's very close.
[00:24:32] Yeah.
[00:24:33] No, they're talking about, they're talking about like him doing a right and wrong and
[00:24:37] like good and evil and whatnot.
[00:24:38] Right.
[00:24:39] And they go, they go, what are you planning for your afterlife?
[00:24:42] He goes, afterlife.
[00:24:43] If I thought I had to go through a whole nother life, I'd kill myself right now.
[00:24:48] One of the best ones is I'm so embarrassed.
[00:24:50] I wished everyone else was dead.
[00:24:53] Yeah.
[00:24:54] I like that one.
[00:24:55] I'm trying to see like when the newest season is out.
[00:24:58] I don't know.
[00:24:58] I need to look.
[00:24:59] I know that one of my favorite quotes is from Fry.
[00:25:02] Fry.
[00:25:02] And it's just so like out of fucking left field, just out of nowhere, because he almost
[00:25:08] never insults Lila ever.
[00:25:11] And then in the in the one episode where they're like that they're following tire tracks and
[00:25:17] the tire tracks clearly go right up to a garage door.
[00:25:21] And Lila just goes, the tire tracks end here without a beat.
[00:25:26] Fry just goes, thanks, Eagle Eye.
[00:25:29] I'm like, what?
[00:25:31] Like never said anything about it.
[00:25:33] You say that to me all the time.
[00:25:34] Thanks, Eagle Eye.
[00:25:36] Okay.
[00:25:36] So actually, they're right in the middle of the new season.
[00:25:39] It's on Hulu.
[00:25:40] Yeah.
[00:25:41] The next episode is coming out September 2nd.
[00:25:44] So they're about halfway through the season.
[00:25:47] Yeah, I'll have to look.
[00:25:49] Yeah.
[00:25:49] If you want the ads plan, it's $8 a month.
[00:25:52] I don't know.
[00:25:53] You can get a 30 day free trial.
[00:25:55] Yeah, I'll take a look at it.
[00:25:56] I bet we can watch all the new episodes in 30 days.
[00:25:59] I bet it'll be like one day.
[00:26:01] But yeah.
[00:26:03] Well, because they're not all out yet.
[00:26:04] That's why I'm not going to get it yet.
[00:26:08] Someone's used logic.
[00:26:10] Logic is for people with a brain.
[00:26:12] You know how you're always complaining about The Sims?
[00:26:15] Yeah.
[00:26:16] Boy, do I have a game that I just stumbled upon.
[00:26:19] Oh, no.
[00:26:19] I think you should just.
[00:26:21] It's amazing.
[00:26:21] What is it?
[00:26:23] It's.
[00:26:23] Oh, Enzoi.
[00:26:24] I've seen people on Twitter or TikTok playing it.
[00:26:27] I don't know if I'd like it.
[00:26:28] New game is like The Sims with realistic graphics.
[00:26:31] So here's its Steam page.
[00:26:33] It just.
[00:26:34] It creeps me out a little.
[00:26:35] Look at these just wonderful screenshots, though.
[00:26:38] Like, don't you just want to live a real life online and be in control of these people's lives?
[00:26:45] I kind of.
[00:26:46] I do kind of want to try it because it just feels like like a life GTA, frankly.
[00:26:52] Yeah.
[00:26:53] Yeah, pretty much.
[00:26:54] Look at how that thing is huge.
[00:26:56] But like, do you have to play online or is it just is there single player?
[00:27:00] Like, does it cost money or?
[00:27:02] It's not out yet.
[00:27:03] Well, it's out, but it's not on Steam.
[00:27:07] I guess you can just use the character studio.
[00:27:10] Yeah.
[00:27:11] I guess I'm saying the character studio is available download on Steam, but it's officially targeting a 2024 launch.
[00:27:17] It's not out yet.
[00:27:18] But yeah, you can get the character studio.
[00:27:21] Maybe I should download it.
[00:27:22] Yeah.
[00:27:23] Try the character studio.
[00:27:24] Yeah, because I just I keep seeing people on TikTok playing it, but I don't know.
[00:27:28] Do your wish list.
[00:27:29] I don't like it when The Sims looks too realistic.
[00:27:32] It's creepy.
[00:27:33] What are you talking about?
[00:27:34] It's the same thing we're living through.
[00:27:36] What do you mean?
[00:27:37] We're in a simulation.
[00:27:38] I mean, maybe.
[00:27:40] It's not maybe.
[00:27:40] It's statistically probably.
[00:27:41] Okay, do you think if we're in a simulation, like if we die, does that mean we wake up from the simulation?
[00:27:47] No.
[00:27:47] Like we're in real life?
[00:27:49] Do your Sims wake up in real life when you kill them?
[00:27:51] Maybe they have their own thing going on.
[00:27:54] Nope.
[00:27:54] Yeah.
[00:27:55] Negative.
[00:27:55] But I always play a long lifespan, so hopefully whoever simulates me does too.
[00:28:00] Dude, this baby is wise and logical.
[00:28:02] This baby looks better than the Twilight baby.
[00:28:06] Entertainer, dude.
[00:28:07] This is the only screenshot I'm not a fan of so far.
[00:28:09] Just because like look at the proportion of this baby's head.
[00:28:12] Look at how fucking huge that baby is.
[00:28:14] That was you as a kid.
[00:28:15] Like, oh my god.
[00:28:16] No, no.
[00:28:18] Maybe no.
[00:28:18] That's what 10 pounds looks like.
[00:28:19] That is not 10 pounds.
[00:28:21] That's a 10 pound baby.
[00:28:22] No, that is like 30.
[00:28:24] Look at that thing.
[00:28:24] That's not 30 pounds.
[00:28:26] That thing's a chonker right there.
[00:28:27] No, because I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be like 30 pounds in like first grade or some shit.
[00:28:33] 30 pounds in first grade?
[00:28:35] Is that what you said?
[00:28:36] Yeah.
[00:28:37] Look at them chonky babies.
[00:28:39] Yeah, at age 6, you should be about 36 to 60 pounds.
[00:28:42] Right.
[00:28:43] And I said 30.
[00:28:44] That would be a 5 year old.
[00:28:46] That is not a 5 year old.
[00:28:47] He's big enough to be a 5 year old.
[00:28:49] No, he's not.
[00:28:49] That's like an 18 month old.
[00:28:50] Why is this screenshot number 40?
[00:28:52] I don't know.
[00:28:53] Is this some cat girl?
[00:28:54] Cat lady.
[00:28:55] Okay, yeah.
[00:28:56] As soon as we're done here, I'm going to download that shit.
[00:29:00] It's only available until like tomorrow, right?
[00:29:02] Yes.
[00:29:03] Okay, shit.
[00:29:03] Let me do that right now.
[00:29:04] Wait.
[00:29:05] Do you mind?
[00:29:07] Yes, I do mind.
[00:29:10] Oh my god.
[00:29:11] The character studio is 20 gigabytes.
[00:29:14] What?
[00:29:14] Yeah.
[00:29:15] I wonder how much the game would be.
[00:29:17] I wonder if my computer can even handle this shit.
[00:29:19] I don't know.
[00:29:21] Okay.
[00:29:21] So I've told you about Colleen Hoover before.
[00:29:24] Yeah.
[00:29:25] Right?
[00:29:25] Yeah.
[00:29:26] Invented vacuums.
[00:29:27] No.
[00:29:28] What do you mean?
[00:29:29] The lady who writes the books that are kind of terrible.
[00:29:33] But are popular.
[00:29:34] The vacuum cleaner lady?
[00:29:36] No.
[00:29:36] That's Sarah J Maas.
[00:29:38] She writes vacuums?
[00:29:39] No.
[00:29:39] In one of her books, like the main character like kills somebody and turns them into ash.
[00:29:44] And then she vacuums up his body, his dead body.
[00:29:46] Oh, good.
[00:29:47] She doesn't fuck vacuums.
[00:29:49] Please don't fuck vacuums in general.
[00:29:52] Yeah.
[00:29:52] Do it in public.
[00:29:53] But somebody on TikTok was reading a literal quote.
[00:29:57] And it's like she could barely read it to the camera without laughing in the middle of it.
[00:30:02] But it's something like as he smeared the shit down my chest, I had like never been so turned on in my life.
[00:30:11] And like she just could not get through the whole sentence.
[00:30:14] Like she just kept like crying and laughing.
[00:30:16] You know, she's like.
[00:30:18] And then she started over again.
[00:30:19] She's like, I'm sorry.
[00:30:20] This is just I can't believe this is a published sentence.
[00:30:23] And it's like a direct sentence from her book.
[00:30:25] I love the guy who reads his girlfriend's like romance novels in different characters' voices.
[00:30:31] I love that guy.
[00:30:32] Yeah?
[00:30:33] Yes.
[00:30:33] You should do that for me.
[00:30:34] He does like Kronk and like Elmo.
[00:30:36] And he's just reading.
[00:30:38] Why don't you do that for me?
[00:30:39] I don't read fast enough for you.
[00:30:41] If it's speaking, it's different.
[00:30:44] Because you can read faster when you're talking out loud.
[00:30:46] Nuh-uh.
[00:30:47] Mm-hmm.
[00:30:47] Nuh-uh.
[00:30:48] Mm-hmm.
[00:30:48] Nuh-uh.
[00:30:49] Mm-hmm.
[00:30:50] Nuh-uh.
[00:30:55] You remember that scene?
[00:30:56] A little bit.
[00:30:57] Not really well.
[00:30:58] The two kids are arguing.
[00:31:00] They're just like, nuh-uh.
[00:31:00] Nuh-uh.
[00:31:01] Nuh-uh.
[00:31:01] Nuh-uh.
[00:31:02] Nuh-uh.
[00:31:02] I was like, I loved The Emperor's New School as a kid.
[00:31:05] Did you ever watch it?
[00:31:06] New School.
[00:31:07] Oh, the show.
[00:31:08] I fucking loved it.
[00:31:10] Mostly because Bisexual Awakening.
[00:31:13] Melina.
[00:31:15] Hottie.
[00:31:16] Hottie.
[00:31:17] What are you talking about?
[00:31:18] Kuzco's just okay.
[00:31:20] Not for me.
[00:31:22] Uh, I was going through Prime Video, which is like, I don't know how popular Prime Video
[00:31:28] is.
[00:31:28] I never see.
[00:31:30] It's got some pretty good scary movies.
[00:31:31] It's got some good, like, original shows on there, too.
[00:31:33] I just don't go through it a whole lot.
[00:31:35] But.
[00:31:35] Now that we don't have Netflix, I'm, like, using it a lot more.
[00:31:38] I was going through.
[00:31:39] They have a lot of random TV shows that are just, it was, like, recommended for you.
[00:31:43] And one of them was, uh, that old anime show from, like, 2005.
[00:31:47] It was called 16.
[00:31:49] But it was spelled with a six and then teen.
[00:31:51] Have you ever seen that?
[00:31:52] I never.
[00:31:53] Wait.
[00:31:53] That show was super, it was just.
[00:31:54] Like on Cartoon Network?
[00:31:56] Yeah.
[00:31:56] With the girl with the black and green hair.
[00:31:59] Mm.
[00:31:59] Yeah.
[00:32:00] That hung out in the mall every day.
[00:32:01] Yeah.
[00:32:01] That was, um.
[00:32:03] I think it was a little bit above my age group, frankly, when I was doing it.
[00:32:06] So, like, some of the stuff I didn't get, but.
[00:32:08] Yeah.
[00:32:08] I bet if you watched it now, there'd be a ton of jokes that you didn't get as a kid.
[00:32:12] Yeah.
[00:32:13] I miss the original Teen Titans show.
[00:32:16] I don't think I ever watched that.
[00:32:17] It was so good.
[00:32:19] I loved Starfire.
[00:32:21] My sister really liked Raven.
[00:32:23] But they now just have, like, Teen Titans go.
[00:32:26] It's like the animated ones, yeah.
[00:32:27] And they're, like, super small and, like, cartoony.
[00:32:30] Yeah.
[00:32:30] And they say some creepy shit.
[00:32:32] Like, they were.
[00:32:33] Yeah.
[00:32:33] It was more about, like, action back then.
[00:32:35] Now it's more about, like, friendship and fun times.
[00:32:38] Yeah.
[00:32:38] Yeah.
[00:32:39] It's like, there's not a lot of villains in there.
[00:32:40] I watched one episode where they were, like, their main, like, plot of the episode was that
[00:32:47] they were on, like, a dance competition show.
[00:32:50] And I'm like, is that what we need superheroes for?
[00:32:52] To win dance competitions?
[00:32:54] Like, what?
[00:32:54] Well, I feel like there used to be an emotional depth to the show that, like, I don't know
[00:32:58] if they're just why they're dumbing down children's shows these days.
[00:33:02] But it's like.
[00:33:03] I'm interested.
[00:33:04] There's a lot of stuff that, like, you can learn from things.
[00:33:07] Even if you don't understand it fully.
[00:33:09] Like, kids pick up on things.
[00:33:10] And I just feel like the original Teen Titans, like, like, Robin and Starfire were clearly
[00:33:16] wanting to date each other.
[00:33:18] But they had all these reasons why they couldn't.
[00:33:20] And, like, they were superheroes trying to save the world.
[00:33:22] And that wasn't their priority.
[00:33:23] And the other lady was depressed.
[00:33:25] The other lady was depressed as hell.
[00:33:27] And then Starfire also had the other issue of her sister being evil and, like, having
[00:33:33] to deal with that as a superhero.
[00:33:34] And just, I think they dealt with a lot of things and explained things in a more kid-friendly
[00:33:39] way.
[00:33:39] And, like, nowadays they're just like, okay, distract your child.
[00:33:44] No.
[00:33:44] For dumb.
[00:33:46] But I've also heard teachers say that kids have gotten a lot worse.
[00:33:49] Kids have gotten stupider, yeah.
[00:33:51] Not even just, like, smart-wise, but, like, behaviorally as well.
[00:33:55] They're like, I've never dealt with so many children with discipline issues.
[00:33:58] Yeah, discipline issues.
[00:33:59] Did you see the number of teachers going, like, reporting that their kids don't know how
[00:34:04] to comprehend, like, things that they read?
[00:34:07] They can't, like, retain anything.
[00:34:09] At one point, some kid, like, read a paragraph.
[00:34:12] And then they asked him what happened in the paragraph.
[00:34:13] He's like, I don't know.
[00:34:14] We're already done reading that.
[00:34:15] You're like, you didn't remember any of what you just read?
[00:34:18] No comprehension skills.
[00:34:19] I'm like, oh, my gosh.
[00:34:20] That's frightening.
[00:34:21] And I just can't imagine that.
[00:34:23] Like, I know, like, not everybody's super fast at reading or whatever, but, like, I think
[00:34:28] everybody's capable of learning to read, at least at a basic level.
[00:34:31] And my mom or my dad would read to us every night as a kid.
[00:34:35] And then as I got older, they'd make us read to them.
[00:34:39] And I just, I've, I know you don't read as much as I do, but, like.
[00:34:43] I think kids can read.
[00:34:45] They just, they have no interest in comprehending it because they're like, ah, this is a dying
[00:34:49] form of beauty.
[00:34:51] I just, I think you have to teach people to love things.
[00:34:54] Like, you know, like the Magic Treehouse books.
[00:34:56] You don't have to teach people to love it.
[00:34:58] You just have to teach people to actually have a slight interest and be like, hey, this
[00:35:02] is worth your time to do.
[00:35:04] And so much knowledge is power.
[00:35:06] But, like, if you teach kids to enjoy reading, you know, like, reading doesn't always have
[00:35:11] to be the things that you're disinterested in.
[00:35:13] Like, you could enjoy, like, my niece, for example, she really struggled with reading
[00:35:18] for a long time.
[00:35:19] Like, she just found it difficult to keep her interest.
[00:35:21] But she got into graphic novels.
[00:35:23] And then now she's reading, like, regular books as well.
[00:35:26] But, like, they had to find something she was interested in first before she cared about
[00:35:30] it.
[00:35:30] Yeah, I think that's, like, children's books need to be, like, small children's books and,
[00:35:36] like, elementary school books need to have more pictures and visual things in it for
[00:35:40] kids.
[00:35:40] Like, the Magic Treehouse books and things like that.
[00:35:43] And then you start to move to, wow, that's just paragraphs of words.
[00:35:48] And then the soul drains out of you when you get to college.
[00:35:51] And they're like, here's a textbook.
[00:35:52] It's $200.
[00:35:53] At the end of the semester, memorize it.
[00:35:55] Like, that's nice.
[00:35:57] Thanks for this.
[00:35:58] You know what?
[00:35:59] That is part of one thing I'm really enjoying about my classes online.
[00:36:03] Is I've seen some people say they never get personalized feedback from professors and stuff.
[00:36:08] And that can't really happen with my stuff.
[00:36:12] Like, they kind of have to give you feedback because, you know, it's writing.
[00:36:15] Yeah.
[00:36:15] That is part of what I liked going to a private university is all my class sizes were about
[00:36:22] 30 people.
[00:36:22] So, every single class I was in, I could just want to go and talk to a professor before or
[00:36:28] after class.
[00:36:28] Like, my largest class was the first year I went to a math class and it had 65 people
[00:36:34] in it.
[00:36:34] And it was the easiest math class I had ever taken.
[00:36:38] Like, easier than all of the high school classes I'd taken.
[00:36:40] Yeah.
[00:36:40] It was super simple.
[00:36:42] And it was supposed to be like college something math.
[00:36:46] And I was like, okay.
[00:36:48] It was the simplest, like, math style.
[00:36:50] Like, we got into, like, algebra.
[00:36:52] There was no trig, no geometry.
[00:36:54] It was like algebra.
[00:36:55] Bro, my first year was supposed to be, like, basic college algebra.
[00:37:00] And I had a Chinese teacher.
[00:37:02] Like, he was from China.
[00:37:05] And he would get so pissed off at us if we couldn't do math in our heads in, like, a second.
[00:37:10] Oh, yeah.
[00:37:11] Like, he was very angry.
[00:37:13] Basic math, doing it in your head is a high priority in a lot of other countries.
[00:37:17] Because it should be, I feel like.
[00:37:20] And I just, I've never been able to do that, you know?
[00:37:23] Like, I have to either write things down or it'll take me a second.
[00:37:27] Like, I remember in the fifth grade, this is going to sound wild.
[00:37:29] But my teacher told us we weren't allowed to count on our fingers.
[00:37:32] Like, she wanted us to count regular.
[00:37:34] And at that point in time, like, I really struggled with math.
[00:37:37] Like, learning my times tables and all that sort of stuff.
[00:37:39] Like, I remember crying every night.
[00:37:41] My mom helping me learn them.
[00:37:42] Like, I just always struggled with math.
[00:37:46] And I had to work a lot harder at it to do stuff.
[00:37:48] So I had learned to do, like, like this, like sevens tricks and nines tricks and all that sort of stuff on my hands.
[00:37:52] And then my teacher banned us from doing that.
[00:37:55] And now I'm like, as an adult, I'm like, that's kind of ableist, actually.
[00:37:58] Like, I probably had a learning disability.
[00:38:00] But.
[00:38:03] Because I would read numbers incorrectly, too.
[00:38:06] And I've never been like, I don't think I'm dyslexic.
[00:38:09] But then I learned apparently there's a thing like that for math.
[00:38:12] And I'm like, that might be me.
[00:38:14] Because I really, it's not like I'm not trying.
[00:38:16] And then once I understood things and I would take the slowdown and, like, take a longer time, like, I could do math very well.
[00:38:23] But it was very difficult.
[00:38:26] Yeah.
[00:38:26] So reading has always been fine.
[00:38:30] Letters, great.
[00:38:32] There was a guy who sat next to me in that math class in college.
[00:38:36] I don't know how he got into the college.
[00:38:38] Maybe he just gave them too much money or something.
[00:38:41] Yeah.
[00:38:41] They didn't correct it.
[00:38:42] I don't know.
[00:38:43] But this was the, it was the math class that was super easy.
[00:38:46] We got back one of the tests.
[00:38:50] And it was, it was out of 100 standard test things.
[00:38:55] And they handed all the tests back upside down or something.
[00:38:59] Oh, no, we had to go up to the front together.
[00:39:00] I don't know.
[00:39:01] But they handed them back individually, right?
[00:39:03] So I went over and I grabbed it, grabbed my test, sat down, whatever, looking at it.
[00:39:07] And I got 99.
[00:39:09] And I was like, cool, I missed one thing or something like that.
[00:39:11] I don't know.
[00:39:13] And the guy next to me, I wasn't particularly his friend.
[00:39:19] We just, that class we had together and the class right after that we had together.
[00:39:23] So being that the campus wasn't very large, we had to walk down the same couple of paths
[00:39:28] to get to the next class.
[00:39:29] So he just ended up talking to me.
[00:39:31] And I'm like, all right, man.
[00:39:32] He ended up dropping out that year.
[00:39:34] But he was something special.
[00:39:39] He got back his test.
[00:39:41] And he's like, this is some bullshit.
[00:39:43] And I was like, wow, what happened?
[00:39:45] He goes, man, they're not teaching us how to do the math right, blah, blah, blah.
[00:39:48] This and that.
[00:39:49] He's giving me excuses.
[00:39:50] And he's getting mad.
[00:39:51] And I was like, uh-huh.
[00:39:52] And he goes, yeah, I think I need to find a tutor, though, for this stuff.
[00:39:55] I was like, yeah?
[00:39:57] Why?
[00:39:57] And he goes, I'm just not getting it.
[00:40:00] And this stuff sucks.
[00:40:01] And he gave me his test.
[00:40:02] And he got nine.
[00:40:04] He got nine out of 100.
[00:40:07] And the test was really only out of 95 because you got five points for putting your name.
[00:40:13] So really, he got four.
[00:40:15] I was going to say, I think the lowest score I ever got on math test was like a 33.
[00:40:20] No, he got four.
[00:40:21] He got nine out of 100.
[00:40:23] But again, it was five points.
[00:40:24] Like, it said plus five next to his name and next to everybody's name.
[00:40:27] Were they like, you had to do your work kind of tests or multiple choice?
[00:40:31] It was probably a mix.
[00:40:33] I don't remember.
[00:40:34] I was like, just by guessing on certain things, you should be able to get like a 15.
[00:40:39] You know?
[00:40:39] I don't know.
[00:40:40] No, it was more of a, like, here's the problem, solve it thing.
[00:40:44] But again, it was pretty basic math, especially for a college course.
[00:40:51] And he got nine.
[00:40:54] He really got four.
[00:40:56] I hope you're doing better now, bro.
[00:40:58] Oh, he something.
[00:41:01] He got a few kids now.
[00:41:04] Anyway, so he was also, he was dumb and he was just not a great person.
[00:41:11] Like, he would insult people, but it was a whole thing, bro.
[00:41:15] And I just, I didn't like him at all.
[00:41:16] You can't be dumb and mean.
[00:41:18] I shouldn't.
[00:41:19] Yeah, I shouldn't like him.
[00:41:21] So when he's like, hey, I need to find a tutor.
[00:41:23] What'd you do?
[00:41:24] How'd you do?
[00:41:24] And I was like, ah, shit.
[00:41:27] So I was like, yeah, I did okay.
[00:41:29] But I don't really like this class, which I didn't.
[00:41:31] I didn't like the class.
[00:41:32] I didn't lie to him.
[00:41:33] I did okay.
[00:41:34] And I didn't like the class.
[00:41:35] That's what I said to him, which was true.
[00:41:38] And.
[00:41:39] What did you get, like a 90?
[00:41:40] No, I got like 95 or 99.
[00:41:43] So 100%.
[00:41:43] I don't know.
[00:41:45] But, so that's why I just told him I did okay.
[00:41:47] And I didn't like the class that much.
[00:41:49] Both of those were true statements.
[00:41:50] And he's like, yeah, I gotta find somebody to help.
[00:41:52] And I was like, okay, man.
[00:41:53] He didn't make it through that semester of most of those classes.
[00:41:58] And he was actually trying to join the army and get the army to pay for college.
[00:42:02] What was just a Greek you're supposed to be?
[00:42:04] I don't, I never asked him.
[00:42:06] I was not invested in his life that much to know.
[00:42:09] I knew he had two classes because I was in those two classes.
[00:42:12] Outside of that, he existed, I'm sure.
[00:42:14] I don't know.
[00:42:16] I feel like I'm going to sneeze.
[00:42:17] Okay.
[00:42:22] Why would you do that?
[00:42:24] Well, you don't have to sneeze now, do you?
[00:42:25] Okay.
[00:42:27] Well, take us out of here, Jordan.
[00:42:31] I got character studios to download.
[00:42:33] Yeah.
[00:42:34] The second class we had together was actually an army class.
[00:42:37] He was in the army program with me.
[00:42:39] How do you do poorly on that?
[00:42:41] The army class is harder than the math class.
[00:42:43] Those classes are some of the hardest ones.
[00:42:44] Because, yeah, because it's not, it wasn't textbooks you had to read for the army class.
[00:42:48] It was army doctrine and policies, which is literally just like 200 pages of like rules and regulations per document.
[00:42:57] And there are hundreds of documents that you just have to know.
[00:43:01] And then you have to be able to reference which one is which.
[00:43:04] It's a pain in the ass.
[00:43:05] But they want you to know which one's which.
[00:43:08] So you can know where to look up an answer if you need it.
[00:43:11] But in order to do that, you have to read the whole thing.
[00:43:14] So they would assign, we only had the class Tuesdays and Thursdays.
[00:43:18] They would assign us like a policy per week.
[00:43:22] So between like Thursday and the following Tuesday, we had to read like 200 pages of policy.
[00:43:29] It was terrible.
[00:43:32] But we were in that class.
[00:43:34] And in that class, they had some vans that were their government, like government plate vehicles, right?
[00:43:41] That the vans that we use to go to different events or whatever.
[00:43:45] One of the vans, one of the belts was like one of the serpentine belts was loose.
[00:43:50] So it just needed to be tightened.
[00:43:51] Not a huge deal.
[00:43:53] They're government vehicles.
[00:43:55] They're very easily like, hey, we're going to take it to the shop.
[00:43:57] The shop will fix it.
[00:43:58] We'll pay for it.
[00:43:59] It's crazy.
[00:44:00] Well, this guy interrupts class as we're discussing how we'll be using the van to get somewhere.
[00:44:07] And then someone said, oh, we can't use it this day.
[00:44:09] It needs to go to the shop for the belt.
[00:44:11] But we can use it the following day.
[00:44:14] Well, he interrupted that conversation and just goes, oh, don't worry, guys.
[00:44:20] And we're like, what are we not worried about?
[00:44:23] We weren't worried to begin with about anything, but OK.
[00:44:26] He's like, oh, don't worry, guys.
[00:44:27] We're like, what?
[00:44:28] He goes, oh, don't worry about the van.
[00:44:29] I'm a mechanic.
[00:44:30] I'll look at it.
[00:44:31] We were like, no, it's contracted.
[00:44:35] We'll just take it to the shop.
[00:44:37] Oh, no, they'll overcharge this.
[00:44:39] We're not paying for it.
[00:44:41] It's a government contract.
[00:44:43] They fix it.
[00:44:44] And then we get the van back and then we use it.
[00:44:47] Well, I can take a look at still.
[00:44:49] And then the teacher, this was like a class discussion.
[00:44:52] And we're supposed to be learning how to be leaders of the army.
[00:44:56] So a lot of times the teacher just wouldn't do anything except for say, here's the assignment.
[00:45:01] You guys go.
[00:45:02] But that day the teacher was like, don't touch the van.
[00:45:07] She leaned over and was like, don't touch the van.
[00:45:09] Don't go near it.
[00:45:11] It's going to the shop.
[00:45:12] I think I need to intervene on this one.
[00:45:14] I interrupted him.
[00:45:15] We're like, what are you talking about, dude?
[00:45:19] I kind of feel bad for people like that because it's like they so badly want to help and be correct and provide something.
[00:45:27] And it's like, no, it'd be better if you just didn't.
[00:45:30] We had one person.
[00:45:34] You remember, Sam?
[00:45:37] She transferred into that class.
[00:45:39] She was in the Air Force program and she transferred to Army.
[00:45:43] She got kicked out of the Air Force program for cursing.
[00:45:47] Yeah.
[00:45:48] And then she came over to Army and like the first day, again, it was just the class talking.
[00:45:53] And there was only like 12 of us plus the teacher in the room.
[00:45:57] And we were like, well, what made you change over?
[00:45:58] And she told us that.
[00:45:59] And we're like, that's fucking stupid.
[00:46:01] And she's like, as you looked over at the professor, like they would say something.
[00:46:06] The professor's over there like on her phone doing something.
[00:46:09] We're like, well, you can curse her.
[00:46:10] It's fine.
[00:46:10] Yeah.
[00:46:11] Air Force seems like kind of clean cut.
[00:46:13] It was just rules and regulations.
[00:46:14] Yeah.
[00:46:15] It was rules and regulations and this and that.
[00:46:17] Well, it's funny because that was her first day there.
[00:46:19] And we're like, oh, yeah, we need a scribe for today.
[00:46:22] Do you mind doing it?
[00:46:23] She's like, yeah, sure.
[00:46:25] So she went up to.
[00:46:26] That sounds so Brotherhood of Steel.
[00:46:28] She went up to the board.
[00:46:29] It's the person that writes things down.
[00:46:32] So she went up and grabbed the marker and started writing stuff on the board.
[00:46:38] Like halfway through, we're like, oh, yeah, we got to get rid of that and that.
[00:46:41] So erase those.
[00:46:42] And she grabs the eraser and it doesn't come off.
[00:46:45] And we're like, what?
[00:46:46] And she's like, oh, guys.
[00:46:49] And we're like, what?
[00:46:50] She goes, this is a permanent marker.
[00:46:52] We're like, how are you going to transfer over here and break both our whiteboards on your first day?
[00:46:57] And we had written like the whole boards were full.
[00:47:00] And we're like, oh.
[00:47:01] So we're like, OK, take a picture.
[00:47:03] So we took a picture of the boards because we still needed it for the lesson.
[00:47:07] And we're like, great.
[00:47:08] So then we just took turns taking hand sanitizer and wiping it on the boards.
[00:47:14] And like we had to spend the next like 30 minutes just wiping these boards clean of permanent marker.
[00:47:20] Next time you do that, ask if anybody has perfume.
[00:47:23] Perfume?
[00:47:23] Yeah, anything that's like liquid alcohol.
[00:47:26] It's not just like hand sanitizer, but like pure alcohol.
[00:47:29] Yeah, that's what we were using.
[00:47:31] Here's what we did.
[00:47:32] We got a bucket.
[00:47:34] Oh, boy.
[00:47:35] We filled it up with halfway with water.
[00:47:37] And then we filled it with hand sanitizer to liquidize it.
[00:47:42] And then they put the rubbing alcohol in there and mix that together.
[00:47:47] Lovely smell.
[00:47:48] Very small room.
[00:47:49] And then we would take paper towels and soak them and just wipe it off the board.
[00:47:53] But it was just smearing lots of stuff.
[00:47:55] So it was around.
[00:47:56] Anyway, that's what happened for a while.
[00:47:58] So we did that.
[00:48:00] Getting high off sanitizer.
[00:48:01] It was fun.
[00:48:02] Even the professor, she's like, oh, smells like my morning coffee in here.
[00:48:07] I got to go.
[00:48:08] And she walked out.
[00:48:09] And we were like, what did she just say?
[00:48:11] And she held up a mug.
[00:48:13] And it was like a thermos.
[00:48:16] And she goes, my thermos isn't clear for a reason.
[00:48:19] And then kept walking.
[00:48:20] And we were like, okay, see you later.
[00:48:22] Damn.
[00:48:22] Did you ever just think about how many people are like casually alcohol?
[00:48:25] Casually?
[00:48:28] And that's how we spent that day.
[00:48:30] I just mean like, you know, like someone who does stuff like that.
[00:48:33] They're like, oh, yeah.
[00:48:34] That's how I start my day.
[00:48:36] Like, hmm.
[00:48:37] Well, remember that not my.
[00:48:40] It wasn't my ceremony at the end of that.
[00:48:43] But it was the one before.
[00:48:44] So the year before.
[00:48:45] So when I was a junior, we had a Christmas party.
[00:48:49] It was not great.
[00:48:52] And then we the next morning, we had a Christmas party the day before we were supposed to go
[00:48:58] to this ceremony that started at 6 a.m.
[00:49:00] And we all showed up.
[00:49:01] And we were like in the ceremony.
[00:49:04] Like we were hosting it, you know, for people.
[00:49:09] And so we were like, this is not going to go well.
[00:49:11] Like we had to like walk in like a professional manner.
[00:49:15] And they like, no, it didn't go well.
[00:49:18] And most of us were hungover.
[00:49:19] We're like, this sucks.
[00:49:21] Like, oh, shit.
[00:49:21] And then somebody came in.
[00:49:23] I think it was Sam.
[00:49:24] She goes, oh, don't worry.
[00:49:25] I brought everybody coffee.
[00:49:26] And we're like, oh, sweet.
[00:49:27] She had these little coffees.
[00:49:29] It was from Dutch Bros or Starbucks.
[00:49:31] So we grabbed it and we all started drinking it.
[00:49:34] We all took like a couple drinks of it.
[00:49:35] And then we looked over at her and she goes, mm-hmm.
[00:49:39] And we're like, these were like, did you pour out?
[00:49:43] Hair of the dog.
[00:49:43] Like, did you pour out the other half of these or did you drink them all?
[00:49:46] She goes, no, no.
[00:49:47] They were, I poured them out.
[00:49:48] I'm like, okay.
[00:49:49] They were full when we got them though.
[00:49:51] I was like, hmm, perfect.
[00:49:53] Do the outro.
[00:49:54] Ow, motherfucker.
[00:49:56] Wow.
[00:49:56] I'm not even here.
[00:49:57] That's a rude thing to say.
[00:49:59] That hurt.
[00:49:59] That always hurts.
[00:50:01] Spousal abuse.
[00:50:02] Love and war.
[00:50:03] And.
[00:50:05] Well, this has been an episode of Mindless Prattle.
[00:50:08] If you like what you heard, follow us, please.
[00:50:11] Leave a review.
[00:50:12] Talk to us.
[00:50:13] There's a little video.
[00:50:15] Voice thing.
[00:50:15] Jordan, stop it.
[00:50:16] Would you please do the outro?
[00:50:18] You do the fucking outro.
[00:50:19] I'm busy.
[00:50:19] No, you're not.
[00:50:20] Yes, I am.
[00:50:21] You guys don't understand how terrible he is.
[00:50:25] Okay, this has been Mindless Prattle.
[00:50:26] I'm Ripley.
[00:50:27] That's Jordan.
[00:50:28] We'll see you later.
[00:50:30] Goodbye.
[00:50:32] Oh, shit.
[00:50:33] Did I hit record?
[00:50:34] Fuck off.
[00:50:36] What are you doing?
[00:50:37] Stop it.
[00:50:38] Bye.
[00:50:38] Bye.
[00:50:38] Bye.