Mindless Chocolate Sprayer

[00:00:10] Oh my gosh, welcome in. This is episode, and we're on season three. Somehow. That's Ripley, I'm Jeebin. That's the best you could come up with? What? Ripley and Jeebin. Why you always gotta contradict me? You can't just go along with it. I like how, by the way, before we started, you were like, I'll give you a light this week, and then you're just like, nah, never mind. No light for you. No, it's too late now.

[00:00:38] Now you just, ah, now I'm blinded. It just messes up my lighting. Maybe it messes up your lighting. You only look good with three lights on you. What are you doing? Stop touching it. I'm not even gonna cut to you. That was terrible. I, look, you got, stop staring at yourself, all right? You keep like shaking the camera. I'm not shaking shit, all right? You keep shaking the table. Unless we're sitting on the toilet, and then maybe. Oh my God, okay. What? That's true. Speaking of which, I was at the

[00:01:08] gym the other day. Yeah. And I, you know how you take notes in your phone about like little stories that you want to tell? Yeah. But I don't take full notes, and then I often forget what the story was. So the title of this story, or the note that I put in my phone to remind myself of this story, and you can take a guess at what the story's about. I was at the gym, for context, and the name of this story in my phone from over a week ago was

[00:01:37] Chocolate Gem Spray. Now, Based Off of That You Give Me Your Rendition of What You Think Went Down at the Gym. Is that the title for this week? Like chocolate gem sprayer? What? It could be. I can't even fathom, actually. I'm like... You can't fathom what might happen. How do you spray chocolate? Was somebody spraying like perfume in the gym or something? You're very close, actually. Okay. So I was doing, I was working out chest, right?

[00:02:06] So I'm over there. I'm like, yeah, let's get it. I'm on a little press. A little press, not a big press? A little press. And there's two sets of lights in the gym. There's like the exterior and then the interior, but they're on two different switches. And it was like nine o'clock at night. So I was like, I'll just turn on the exterior ones. I don't need all that light. The gym, the weights are heavy either way. You know, we don't need it. And so I'm in there for probably like 20 minutes at this point.

[00:02:34] About, I don't know, halfway, three quarters of the way through whatever I was doing. And this guy comes in and he goes over to the corner in front of the mirror with like the little table next to it. But, and then just, I guess, didn't like the way it smelled in the gym. Because I just started smelling like chocolate and I looked over and he's just got like a little bottle.

[00:03:04] Wasn't marked with anything, just like a plain white little spray bottle. Just like, like it was like a middle school, like boys locker room. Like he was just spraying. That sounds like chocolate axe almost. Yeah. And I was, I was just sitting there like starting like to hard to breathe. Cause I was like, all right, let's keep going with this. And he's just spraying it while he's like doing some stretches. Like he's just sitting over there stretching.

[00:03:32] But I guess like his stretches involved like chocolating his muscles. Cause he wasn't spraying it like in the air. Like the first like few were, I guess, to get it warmed up. Cause it needs a break too, you know? I don't know. Don't we all? And then after that, he took it and he would like do like a lunge to like warm up a little bit. And then he'd get out of the lunge and then he would like spray his knee. And then he would do another lunge and then like spray the other knee. And I was like, what? What's in this spray bottle?

[00:04:03] I don't know. But the whole time I'm sitting there just like trying to breathe. And I'm like, it's saturating the gym at this point. And then rounding it all off, he stopped spraying for like a few minutes. I was like, thank goodness. We're done with that now. He walks over and he turns on the second set of lights. And I was like, I'm normally fine with that.

[00:04:25] But the bench that I was on that weighs like, you know, 600 pounds or whatever it is with all the weights and everything stacked on it was right under one of the exterior lights. And it's the one that was strobing out. So it was flashing. So the whole time, like as I'm in the middle of like trying to lift this fucking weight, it just starts flashing me. And I was like, what the fuck? So I like put the weights down and I just closed my eyes. I was surprised you didn't say something to him. I was sitting there like, what the fuck is this?

[00:04:55] And finally, after like a good, I don't know how long, maybe 30 seconds. It felt like a long time though because after I just got like strobed in the eyes. And then I like sat up and like took some water to like figure out what I was going to do because I could barely fucking see with the flashes. And then he turned around, goes, and then saw that I was like sitting up and then I was just like kind of half staring at the light. And was like, hmm. And then went and turned off that light.

[00:05:24] And I was like, yeah, thanks, asshole. Like what the fuck? I just, I just cannot imagine like the social ineptitude you have to have to like spray something like that in a confined room. Like one, people have allergies, you know, like what if that gave you like an asthma attack or something? It was strong. Like the first couple couldn't smell it, but like those warm up sprays, couldn't smell it. Those warm up sprays? He got to warm up the bottle. I don't know. But like right.

[00:05:52] Yeah, no, right after that, it was every like 10, 20 seconds he was doing another little spritz. And I was like, you need to stop. That's, that was ridiculous. It was bad. But anyway, it took me a solid, like sometimes I write down story titles and then I forget because I'm like, I don't know what the hell this was in reference to. Was I on drugs? I, I remembered that one. I was like chocolate gem sprayer. I know you. He looked like he was in good shape too.

[00:06:21] I was like, damn, maybe I should get some chocolate spray. Yeah. He's got like THC in there. He's like. All he was doing. He was there for half an hour only stretching. And then I. Spraying and stretching. Spraying and stretching. Yes. And then he left and I was like, okay. What an odd man. Are you sure? I was like, if you don't like to smell that much, just work out at home, I guess. Especially if you're just going to stretch, like didn't use any weights, didn't use any machines. The only thing. Oh no.

[00:06:48] The only thing he did use was the jump rope, but he used it for about 10 seconds and then he put it back. Jump rope against great cardio. Look, I don't know. It's not in line with the chocolate aura. Okay. I don't. I don't make the rules. But. He can't spray and jump at the same time. Dude, it was. It was bad. I was like, okay, well. I kind of feel bad because I feel like you always have like stories, like personal stories, you know? And then I just come here and I'm like, here's things I saw online that I thought were interesting.

[00:07:18] You mean because I go out and see the world and observe it? I just. Hate people. I know. I don't hate people. I just don't go places. What do you mean? You saw something funny last night. I was there with you. They almost hit my car. Oh my God. See, you just don't think about things. You just get annoyed at them instead of being like, that's pretty funny. Yeah.

[00:07:44] Last night, Jordan came to my job and ate dinner with me or whatever. And we're chilling in his car after because it's cold as shit outside. And this giant ass truck is like, I don't even know how to explain this properly. They're trying to like back in and pull forward and then they back up and pull forward. And it's just embarrassing. It's like the kind of thing you watch, you know, and you feel embarrassed for them. You're like, wow, look at you. You don't know how to fucking park, dude.

[00:08:11] But a few times this truck almost hit Jordan's car and we were just staring at them. Like they were looking at us through their car, staring at us, you know. But I was just staring at them like. Like I could park this truck way better than you. And I don't drive trucks, you know. And then they got out and then looked and they were like, oh shit, wrong parking lot. And they had to go across the street anyway. So they just walked across the street. I think I figured out why people park in our parking lot instead of the other one.

[00:08:40] Because the other parking lot is really narrow. And ours is narrow too. But like. They're both narrow though. But when you have a bunch of cars in the other parking lot, like you probably don't want to try to pull out. Especially because they have their drive-thru. Yeah, I never want to try and pull out. You okay? You threw me for a loop. Hold on. Where does that saying come from? Like threw me for a loop. Like what does that mean? What is a loop? I don't know. Let me. Yeah. I'll look it up. You keep telling the story. Yeah.

[00:09:10] But so that happened. And then we also saw another car. See how this car is drivable. But this car, like their front bumpers and stuff did not exist. Like it was just all exposed. You could tell they got into a big accident. And like this little old lady hobbles out of the car. And I'm like, you sure you should be driving, ma'am?

[00:09:35] Um, but it just is the kind of thing where all you can do is like sit there and watch and be like, okay, like you suck at driving and parking and existing. So did you find the loop? All I'm seeing is, uh, one that says it comes from a comic strip. One that says it may be referred to from knocked for a loop in boxing, meaning being hit in the head, causing confusion.

[00:10:06] I'm not seeing like the exact. You know what? Hmm. There's several different things that I just found as well. It says it originates from American aviation and boxing terminology in the early 20th century. Okay. So in aerobatics, not a term I'm familiar with, but it's something to do with aviation. Um, a loop refers to a maneuver where a plane performs a full vertical circle, full vertical circle. Right of a second.

[00:10:36] If the pilot was unexpectedly forced into this maneuver due to turbulence or other aircraft, um, it could be disorienting and unsettling. Meaning so that fits the modern meaning of being thrown for a loop, meaning you got caught off guard or shocked. And then it also does talk about the boxing looping punch. And it says if the fighter is hit hard enough, they may stumble or become dazed, which mirrors the figurative meaning of the phrase. So yeah, that's cool. I didn't know that. I think it's a little both then. I don't know. Learning words with Ripley.

[00:11:06] Um, did you see that they have most, most likely solved the Jack the Ripper case? Oh, yeah. They dusted that one off. Yeah. Okay. So most of us know who Jack the Ripper is. If you don't, um, he is a man in the late 1800s who murdered a bunch of women and was never discovered.

[00:11:32] Um, and like, I don't know if you know, like if you've ever looked into the Jack the Ripper facts, but like what he did to these women was like brutal. Like. Yeah. His nicknames was, was the Ripper, not. No, like literally like taking out their organs and shit. Like. So people were pretty sure he was a doctor because, you know, he had to have extreme knowledge of anatomy and stuff. But, um, basically like they haven't ever been able to find who it is, though they had a bunch of theories.

[00:11:57] Um, so this month in February, um, somebody said that they got a DNA match for Jack the Ripper off of a shawl that, um, he had like bled on several hundred years ago. I was going to say in the 1800s. Okay. And, um, it matched the profile of Aaron Kaminsky, who was a Polish immigrant and barber who was the prime suspect, but like they didn't have enough evidence to arrest him.

[00:12:26] So they just let him go? Yeah. So this person is claiming that they found a hundred percent match between the DNA and living descendants of Kaminsky. Um, and the family is now like seeking an official inquest to have him recognized as the Ripper and to view the other evidence and just make sure they were correct. The FBI is asking that? Scientists. Oh. The scientists who did it and his, and the family members. For some reason I heard FBI. Did you say FBI? No. Maybe I just read it.

[00:12:54] I'm reading some other stuff. Maybe. Um, no, it was the scientists who discovered the DNA and the family members or the descendants of the women who were murdered. But, um, obviously like there's some, I don't know, research to be done or whatever, but I thought that was really cool. I was like, science is just crazy. Could you imagine like you're like a hundred? You're like, I got away with murder. And then the cops are like, well, actually your relative did a 23 on me.

[00:13:24] So we gotcha. I'm sure. What's the statute of limitations on murder? I think it is very state by state, isn't it? I mean, I don't know, but it wasn't even here. So, you're gonna find out. I feel like. Uh, there's no statute of limitations for murder in Texas. Okay. Not what I asked. Yeah. It depends on the country and jurisdiction. Um, there's no limitations for murder at both the federal and state levels.

[00:13:50] Um, and other serious crimes like terrorism and forms of sexual assault have no statute of limitations. That's good. I think it's pretty cool. The United Kingdom has no statute of limitations. Neither does Canada, Australia, and most of the European countries. Germany and France, no statute of limitations for murder or genocide. Yeah. I think that's a good one. I saw a clip of a German actor on a, one of those, the late night shows, the talk shows.

[00:14:19] Mm-hmm. And the show host was like, does it ever bother you that, that Germany is always like the, the bad guy and they, they, uh, have the stereotype of not being like funny and stuff. And he's like, he's like, no, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever like Wikipedia Germany's history? Pretty sure we've been bad guys. I was like, oh yeah. I mean, I feel like a lot of Germans are serious. And I think it's a uniquely American thing. I feel like to be very happy and upbeat and smile at people.

[00:14:47] Like a lot of other countries find it odd that we smile at each other as like a greeting or passing. Oh yeah. And in Russia, it's a, um, very intimate act to smile at someone else and is viewed as like, uh, what's it called? Like impolite if you're out in public and smile at somebody. Be like, what are you so fucking happy about? Like, dude, I keep bumping this mic. I'm sorry. I don't know. It's okay. The editor will fix it. Good thing you got tomorrow morning off then. You gotta learn anyway.

[00:15:17] I do need to learn. Tart is going to have a lot of things to do this year. So I have to edit and be good at things. Bump my table. That was you that time. Sorry. I gotta stretch. I got so sick when I started recording. You've been stretching like every 10 minutes, every time we record. But then you sit in the same position for an hour, just typing away on the keyboard. But you're like, oh, talking. Oh, I need to stretch. It's so exhausting. I stretch it when I'm writing as well. That was a good save.

[00:15:47] I could tell that the thought like stopped halfway through and then you're like, hold on. Back on track. Back on track. So I also, there obviously there's a bunch of video games coming out this year. But have you heard of Directive 8020? I don't think so. I'm going to have to. I need to show you the trailer after this because it came up on my page the other day and I have not heard about it. So it's a interactive drama and survival horror game from Supermassive Games.

[00:16:16] So the people who made Until Dawn. Of course it's a horror game. Huh? Nothing. What'd you say? No, nothing. But so it's about the crew on the colony ship Cassiopeia, which crash lands on Tau Ceti F, a planet located 12 light years from Earth. And the crew is trying to survive an alien environment and confronting. And there's like the aliens from the trailer could mimic human life and like change their

[00:16:46] cells. Oh, I think I may have seen it. It sounds familiar. Maybe I'm thinking of something else though. Yeah, we'll watch it. We'll watch it after this. Yeah, so there's five different protagonists in this one. And it says for the first time in the series, there will be real time threats and stealth elements. Players will have access to tools such as scanners to detect alien mimics and devices to manipulate electronics for strategic advantages. So we're playing prey with five people and choices. All right. I was just thinking that.

[00:17:16] It sounds like it reminds me of Alien Isolation a lot, actually. But it says it does draw inspiration from sci-fi horror films like The Thing, Alien, Event Horizon. When I watched the trailer, I definitely got a bit of a Dead Space vibe from it. If you've ever played Dead Space, like. Yeah, I've played. Okay. I was like, you know, like you first get there and everything's destroyed. And it was kind of the vibe I got from this trailer. But I got really excited when I saw it. There's a lot of good games that are in the lineup that I'm excited for.

[00:17:46] The new Assassin's Creed comes out. Avowed comes out on the 18th, actually, on Tuesday. What is that one again? It sounds really familiar. I couldn't tell you specifically. It's not one of like the main ones I'm looking forward to. But it is, like it looks good. And it's on Games Pass. So I'm going to try it on Tuesday. It's an RPG, right? I think so. Okay. So I'll download it and try it on Tuesday and see how it goes. Split Fiction's coming out in March. AC's coming out.

[00:18:15] I'm excited for Split Fiction. I, that studio is doing such a great job of making like co-op games. Because I feel like there's a huge market for it. And there's just not as many games out there. No, and especially their philosophy of if you buy a copy, you can send another copy. Like send a pair, a paired copy to someone else.

[00:18:38] So even if you're not like in the same house or location or wherever, you can still play with somebody that you want to and only have to buy one copy. I love games that do that. But like, even if they eventually take it away, it's like, what a great marketing strategy, first of all. But also like, it just gets more people playing your game and talking about it. So then more people will buy it. I saw that Sony recently unbanned like, it was like 15 countries from Helldivers 2.

[00:19:06] I don't know if you've seen the list or there was like that controversy where Sony banned. I saw it, but I didn't really understand like what was going on or like what, like why they were banned. Like what the big drama was, you know? Because I haven't played it. I know you played the first one, but. Yeah, so basically that, basically Sony banned like, what was it? Here we go. 177 countries. They banned 177 countries from playing it.

[00:19:35] Isn't, aren't there only like 200 something countries in the world? It's definitely like 300 countries. You look up how many countries there are. How many are there? There are 195 countries in the world. Never mind, I thought it was 300. There's 193 member states of the United Nations and two observer states like the Vatican City and Palestine. And then some regions function like independent countries, but aren't fully recognized.

[00:20:05] They're debated. So like places like Taiwan, Kosovo, and Western Sahara, you know, because those are like, what is it called? Oh, here's, here's what it was. So PlayStation or Sony basically released an update that forced you to have a PlayStation Network account in order to play Helldivers online. Helldivers 2. And in 177 countries, you, PlayStation Network's not available.

[00:20:35] So they basically banned 177 countries from playing the game. Why isn't it available if they have, if they sell games to those countries? I don't know. Well, you don't need, you can buy a PlayStation and just buy a game and you can play it offline, like single player games, things like that. Like it's not required to have a PSN account for a lot of things. I hate that all these game companies have done this now where you have to pay to play online. Like I already pay, paid for the console. I paid for the games. I paid for the internet.

[00:21:04] Like why do I have to pay for this? And PlayStation didn't used to do that. It used to be only an Xbox thing. And then I think it was like PS4 suddenly you had to do it. It was very annoying. I was still just trying to find a little more info on it because I don't know a lot about it, but they took a step in the right direction. They unbanned or unblocked, I think it's like, it was like five or 10 countries, but still I'm like, you got like 150 other ones to go. Okay.

[00:21:32] So apparently there's been several controversies with Helldivers 2. Nailed it. Since it released a year ago. I could see that in a decent amount of countries where they don't like the ideology of the game. Like the government, that country's government wouldn't like it. I could see that. But Sony causing it, I don't know. I don't know if I'm just like naive or whatever. I just think that censorship and banning things and like controlling narratives like that is wrong.

[00:21:57] You know, like I know why governments want to do it because they want to huddle into their power or whatever. But like. That's how they stay in power. That's it. Same reason why a bunch of. Read Animal Farm. I'm begging you. Did you see the war in Ukraine? North Korean soldiers getting sent over there. Oh, you haven't heard that? No. North Korea sent soldiers to fight on Russia's side in the war in Ukraine. To Beijing? No.

[00:22:25] A majority of them got addicted to porn on the internet. Yeah. Yeah. Because they've never had access to the internet. Yeah. I think they have access to the internet. But it's like. No, there's only. I think it's like five websites. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like all about. They're all controlled by the state. And you can only access like the history of the state. Yeah. You can't access anything else. I remember like in school. They showed us this documentary about a bunch of US workers going over to North Korea to provide aid and like food and stuff.

[00:22:55] But they were giving away free cataract surgeries and things like that. And helping people see again. And every single one of them would think their supreme leader instead of like the doctors. Like they were like, oh, it's because of our leader that I can see again. Yeah. And I just. That's so interesting to me. Like I can't. Obviously, growing up in the United States is very privileged and things like that. But I just can't imagine living in that kind of environment like. But so how diverse do you?

[00:23:23] So the first one was the account requirements. But then also in June 2024, tensions escalated when a developer from the game studios made dismissive remarks about player feedback. The comments were deemed unprofessional, leading to like issues with their player base. Yeah, that'll do it.

[00:24:10] And then there was also issues with weapon balancing. They implemented a nerf to their ultimatum weapon, which caused a lot of players to be upset, saying that it was too severe. And they had to release an emergency hot fix to fix the game balance because they like swung too far in the other direction. So just like I guess like a lot of complicated things where they're just upsetting the fan base, essentially. Yeah.

[00:24:36] I don't know what it is, but you're having this habit every time that we record of just like slowly getting further from the microphone as you sit. Like you started with the microphone in front of you. And then at one point you even moved the microphone. And I was like, where are you pushing it? Is it going on vacation? Yes. Like mine is between you and me. You see this, yeah? Yeah. Yours is off to the side like, oh yeah, I can barely see it. Like just pull it closer so you can actually talk into it. There you go. You're welcome. She's talking to you, audience.

[00:25:06] She never says you're welcome to me. I say you're welcome to you all the time. Oh, maybe I just don't say thank you. I say thank you all the time too. That's not at all what I just made a joke about, but okay. Oh. I feel like I used to be able to hear you in the headphones, right? Yeah. You can just turn it up. It's that knob that's closest to you. This one? It's the knob that's closest to you, yeah. Okay. What?

[00:25:35] I'm like, that's all I got. What about you? Don't you sigh at me. I mean, that's all you got. Like half those stories were for me. That's not true. Uh-huh. Last episode, you took up like the whole episode with your story. I did not. I looked at it. I talked for like 18 minutes and you talked for like 13. It's not the whole time. You can shut up. That's the whole time. The whole time.

[00:26:01] Now, I talked for like longer segments than you did, but you definitely were in there too. I know. I felt bad. I was watching the video and I was like, oh, I interrupted you a lot. I don't know. I'm talking to you. Not at you. Oh my gosh. Ripley, you sent me your book and I have yet to start reading it. So now it's on me, I guess. Now I get to be the one to sit here and be like, it'll be next week, I swear. It's coming out next week, I swear. What? How? Do you?

[00:26:31] How to? No. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. So I went to school once and I had to. Once upon a time. Once upon a time. I was in this training, right? And they gave us these percentile tests and it was like reading, math, comprehension, science, all this shit. Right. And I got the scores back. My favorite scores. The best ones. Only the best. The best all the time.

[00:27:01] And all of them were like 90 to, I think one of them was like 95 or 96, somewhere in there. Like, good scores. I'll take them. And then what happened was I did the reading one and it didn't make any sense to me. So the way it was laid out was there was paragraph, right? And it was just literally like a giant block of text. And you just had to scroll through it as you read.

[00:27:28] And to the side of every line was a line number. And what it was testing was it said, read the paragraph and then take a whole minute, right? You have a minute to read as much as you can of this giant block of text. And then after the minute, type in the line number that you got to. And I was like, okay, that's easy. So the minute starts.

[00:27:58] I'm reading through it. I'm reading through it. I'm reading through it. But I get done. The minute stops. And I'm like, cool. I was reading the text. And it was like, enter the number. But the text went away. And I was like, well, I wasn't reading the number next to the text. I was reading the text because that's what it said. So I was like, I have no fucking clue. I don't know what number I was on, right? So I was like, I don't know, line 45, line 50. I don't know what I put in, right? But I put it in the line where I was like, I guess somewhere around here.

[00:28:28] And then the results came back. And it was like, yeah, you read. I answered the questions too, right? Like it had questions about the text. Comprehension, I got like 92% on. It was like, great. I understood it. But then on the reading speed, it had me at the 10th percentile. Because I guess I just didn't enter the right number in the field or something. Yes, soils are the results. So the results kept running out.

[00:28:56] And everyone looked at it and was like, man, you read hella fucking slow. And I was like, I guess. It was so bad. It was so slow. But you read so well. Yeah. That's what I told them. Like, look, I understand everything that I read. Just real slow. It's okay. I'm slow at a lot of things. I'm like, all right. The only thing I got going for me is reading. I'm not going to argue that. Anyway, so we...

[00:29:27] Oh, man. So the way this is looking out and just the editing format and timeline and everything, if you're listening to the podcast anywhere you want, it'll be at our normal time. Mondays at 1150 or 12 noon Central Standard. I usually put it in for 1150 because it takes a little bit. So it should be about... Noon on Mondays if you're on Central Standard, right?

[00:29:56] And then Tuesdays at noon, that's when the video will be up on YouTube. Be able to see our shining faces. And my gorgeous makeup skills. It's the moisturizer. Glow up. But that's looking like our Monday, Tuesday schedule. And then Wednesday through the rest of the days is up to Ripley. Ripley, tell us what the schedule is for your media uploads and things. I post things when I remember to.

[00:30:26] Nailed it. All right. Well, I was going to ask, how do I make clips out of the YouTube video? Where do you have it saved? On my computer. Okay, because I was like, I want to make clips for TikTok and stuff, but... I can't do it on YouTube. I looked through the YouTube studio. You can make clips, but you can only share them. You can't upload it to your channel, you know? Which is an interesting choice, I feel like. But...

[00:30:55] Just because your cheek is close to the microphone does not mean you're talking into it. I'm trying. You are not. You are terrible at talking next to the microphone. I'm getting sleepy. I think it's part of the problem. You're talking like this instead of like this. I mean, I have to take a nap before I work on my essay. I'm like, ugh. No nap for you. I think that's going to do it for today. Take us out of here. All right. This has been another episode of Mindless Parietal. If you like what you heard, please follow us. We are doing our best to improve consistently. And on our website at mindlessparietal.com, you can leave us a comment, a note, a voice message

[00:31:25] if you want to be on the podcast. You can tell us we suck. You can tell us we're amazing. Whatever you want. Just talk to us. We'll see you guys next Monday, and we hope you have a great week. Goodbye. And I was here too.