Mindless Cruise Ship

[00:00:01] You okay man? You're just sitting there staring. I've got like a list this time of everything.

[00:00:15] You're just sitting there staring like something's gonna happen. I thought you were gonna talk

[00:00:19] first. I've got water, can't do it. Excuse me. That's cool. I'm sure they love burping

[00:00:27] in their ears. Hello audience. Yes, that's her new catchphrase. She left the country

[00:00:37] and came back with that. That's what you got. Hello welcome back to Mindless Prattle. I

[00:00:44] think it was that show we went to where he was like hey audience. I just said it for

[00:00:51] a second. Aaron Bonk. Did I make two separate lists? I don't know what kind of lists you

[00:01:03] don't make. A lot of lists, so many. Apparently. Well welcome back to Mindless Prattle where

[00:01:10] we both actually have stories this week. Like I took notes and everything. Yeah I

[00:01:16] don't think you would remember it if you didn't. We drank a lot on our honeymoon.

[00:01:24] Well Jordon and I went on our honeymoon. And it was great but we saw a lot of little

[00:01:33] funny things that we were like we'll tell stories about this. Do you want to go

[00:01:36] first? No you can, you brought it up I guess. So the first thing I wrote down

[00:01:42] was about that annoying woman who was trying to charge her drinks to two different rooms

[00:01:47] like right before the cruise left. So I wrote that one down too. It's gonna be like a

[00:01:54] what's that game called? That we usually play with my sister. We write down all the

[00:01:59] words and they're like oh I have that one and get rid of it. Boggle? Boggle?

[00:02:04] That is it. And it's gonna be like that where we have the same stuff written down

[00:02:11] but then you tell it and then I tell it better. You probably remember it better.

[00:02:15] This is random but like why does your camera look so good on this website but when I

[00:02:18] use it for streaming it doesn't look as good? I couldn't tell you. Maybe it's

[00:02:23] what do you use it on? Are you using it on kick or twitch? Kick. It might just

[00:02:29] be the settings just trying to compress it or something. Okay so we walk up to

[00:02:34] this bar and we're waiting for our cruise to leave and we get like a strawberry

[00:02:38] daiquiri I think or a pina colada something like that just you know

[00:02:41] something casual to start with. We're hanging out chatting but oh my god the

[00:02:47] most annoying fucking person walks up to the bar and she wanted to charge her

[00:02:53] beverages to two different rooms because I guess she was getting a

[00:02:56] beverage for her friend and getting a beverage for her. But she was so

[00:02:59] fucking condescending to the bartender and being so rude and she

[00:03:04] kept being like no I want to charge it like this. Me and Jordan both just like

[00:03:09] made eye contact with each other and looked over at her like. Well they

[00:03:12] haven't even started making the drinks yet and if you haven't been on a

[00:03:15] cruise there's different ways to do it right so everything on the cruise

[00:03:18] you can buy with your your account and it basically just gets charged to

[00:03:23] your your room or your your online account and then it deducts it from

[00:03:28] whatever card you have on file at the end of the trip instead of like

[00:03:31] trying to charge everybody every 20 minutes for a drink while you're on board.

[00:03:34] Now that's for most things you can do that for a good amount of it but

[00:03:39] there's also like packages and things you can buy beforehand at a discount

[00:03:42] and that's what we did for beverages so we paid it was like $60 a person

[00:03:48] per day so it ended up being, I can't remember what it was, but basically we prepaid for

[00:03:56] soda juice coffee and alcohol ahead of time so you just give them your card

[00:04:03] and they're like oh it's prepaid here's whatever drink you want and

[00:04:05] that's why they ask for your card so they can see which room you are on and

[00:04:09] it has your beverage package on that card if you have one but so this

[00:04:13] lady she came up and she immediately ordered like something for herself

[00:04:19] which was what did she try to order? I don't remember the drink. She tried to

[00:04:27] order something for herself and then something for her friend but her friend

[00:04:31] had the drink package but she didn't so she was very adamant about the fact

[00:04:35] that she didn't have the drink package but her friend did. I was like why

[00:04:38] don't you just bring your friend here? To make your friend go up twice and get it.

[00:04:42] Yeah I was like well no she wanted the original drink without alcohol for

[00:04:47] herself which she would still be charged for it and she did get charged

[00:04:50] for it. I watched her but it was like five bucks instead of like ten for

[00:04:52] the alcohol you know. It didn't make any sense but and then I think there

[00:04:59] was a separate lady right after that that I wrote down who came up to

[00:05:03] the bar immediately says oh I want something non-alcoholic but my friend

[00:05:10] wants a Jack and Coke and that was the exact sentence she used and the

[00:05:14] bartender was like what do you want and then she just repeated it as if it was

[00:05:18] some like just there's only one thing that's non-alcoholic. He's like okay

[00:05:25] what do you want? She goes no I want something non-alcoholic but my friend

[00:05:28] wants Jack and Coke. She kept saying friend in the way that you do it and

[00:05:31] they're like no my friend has a crush on you T you know like that. I was like

[00:05:34] I was like okay but like why? And she kept going on and on and on. It was a good five ten minutes that she was at this bar just

[00:05:41] like yeah. And I don't know what she was but then she only handed him like one

[00:05:47] card so I was like maybe she's trying to charge less too. What are you doing

[00:05:51] with your finger? Are you petting the cat? Oh my gosh I was like why are you wiggling your

[00:06:01] finger right now? Anyway. And then we made friends on our cruise. They were very

[00:06:12] similar to us as people and it was kind of fun. Like first day and then we both

[00:06:19] kept wanting to hang out and like two days after we originally met them and

[00:06:23] like chatted with them at the pool we found them again and I was like

[00:06:28] yeah I wanted to talk to you and I was nervous I didn't want to bother you and

[00:06:30] then her fiance was like oh my god she said the same thing about you guys and

[00:06:36] it was really fun. I enjoyed hanging out with them though. I didn't think

[00:06:39] I'd be like social on the cruise. It was like we were we got to the pool

[00:06:42] and we were just enjoying drinks by ourselves and you're like how do we

[00:06:45] talk to people? And I was like just tell them something and then

[00:06:48] immediately they walked over and sat down and you just looked and went I

[00:06:51] like your tattoos and that was that and I was like wow crazy how that

[00:06:54] works. Socializing. I did it and now we're Facebook friends and it's really

[00:06:59] cool. I had a great time and they were stoners so that was fun and they had so

[00:07:05] many tattoos. They were from what Colorado? Colorado yeah. Colorado seems

[00:07:10] like a really cool state to live in. Sure. Lots of things to do. I haven't really ever been there. And I will say though the whole

[00:07:19] time we're on the honeymoon Jordan and I were like fuck our Duolingo streak

[00:07:23] is gone. Okay it kept sending us notifications. It's like your streaks

[00:07:27] running out and I'm like it's been three days. I'm pretty sure it already ran

[00:07:29] out. That's how a streak works. We didn't get the internet package we were just enjoying ourselves but we

[00:07:33] kept getting all the notifications from Duolingo still but we just couldn't do it.

[00:07:37] I had cell service and airplane mode turned on or cell service turned off

[00:07:44] and airplane mode turned on but still you would get your phone my phone

[00:07:48] would still track where I was it still knew everything like it didn't

[00:07:51] it's just like oh you're not paying for this feature but we're gonna track you anyway.

[00:07:54] Like it doesn't matter. It's like I hope you enjoy your paperweight. Yeah pretty much because like every time we got

[00:08:00] somewhere my phone would adjust to whatever the local time was even though

[00:08:04] I'm like okay but I can't access the internet or have text messages here

[00:08:08] but you know where I am enough to correct for the time change. Okay sure.

[00:08:13] And then we kept getting like local fucking ads. I kept getting ads for

[00:08:16] things like in the area to do. Like what? Yeah from like different apps it's

[00:08:21] like we noticed you're in a new area and I'm like how did you notice that? I don't have cell service right now.

[00:08:25] My phone didn't do that to me. Mm-hmm kept getting ads every time I would we would talk about

[00:08:30] different like restaurants or something that we were like oh man I could go

[00:08:34] for like McDonald's right now whatever immediately like an hour or less than

[00:08:38] an hour later I'd get a message from like DoorDash it's like we have

[00:08:41] specials on McDonald's delivery right now I'm like yeah can you do the

[00:08:44] middle of the ocean like what do you want me to do here? That'd be impressive

[00:08:48] that would be a service right but how expensive would the delivery fee be on

[00:08:51] something like that? Like a helicopter showing up. They're like I have one double cheeseburger

[00:08:55] and I'm like the fuck what? One? Okay and then the funniest thing to me in the cruise

[00:09:03] like one of the things that I will think about forever is the lady at

[00:09:06] breakfast who got a plate and just filled that bitch up with hash browns

[00:09:12] I put like 10 hash browns but it was definitely way more than 10 like I

[00:09:17] don't know if she's grabbing hash browns for her whole family if she just really

[00:09:20] likes hash browns or what. She had an entire plate filled with hash browns

[00:09:24] and it's not like it was it was like oh we got big scoops of hash browns no

[00:09:28] they're like individual little packaged ones little triangles sort of like

[00:09:32] McDonald's but different shape and she grabbed just 10 to 15 of them just

[00:09:36] threw it on her plate and then walked away and sat down and we're like that's

[00:09:39] that's what you're here for fried potatoes huh? The hash browns were

[00:09:42] really good though. They were probably the most like stable thing that was

[00:09:46] there you know. Yeah some of the quality of the food varied like oh they had scrambled eggs at the buffet every

[00:09:52] morning and they just look terrible they're so wet looking. Those eggs were not good

[00:09:57] even when we went to like a restaurant for breakfast I ordered a

[00:10:01] breakfast burrito and I ate around the eggs because the eggs are just like

[00:10:04] powdery yeah. The fried eggs and stuff I got were good but they probably

[00:10:09] had to do fresh ones. They had to use actual eggs yeah. I will say the quality of the

[00:10:14] breakfast in the morning was fine but it was very inconsistent like that one day

[00:10:18] where they gave us the tiniest fucking helpings of things. They usually do for

[00:10:23] breakfast and things but I don't know. Like you know I got corned beef hash and

[00:10:27] the first time I got it great fine normal portion the second time I got

[00:10:31] it was legitimately like two little forkfuls of fucking things and the lady across from us

[00:10:36] had ordered bacon and they gave her one strip of bacon. No she made a joke

[00:10:41] about it and they took her seriously. Do you not hear that? She made a joke about non-fat.

[00:10:45] Yeah she said can I get a side of bacon but take out all the fat and he goes

[00:10:49] take out all the fat wait it's bacon and she goes he goes do you just want

[00:10:52] like one and she goes ah ha ha that'd be good too and then he walked off

[00:10:56] but she didn't correct him like she thought it was a fun joke and everyone

[00:10:59] was laughing but then she got one piece of bacon she's like oh I guess

[00:11:02] he took me seriously I'm like that's what you asked for. I didn't hear the part about the one piece of bacon. I was just like dang they really skimped on the pork instead.

[00:11:09] She made a joke about it to the waiter and he's like okay if you want one we'll give you one.

[00:11:13] I will say dinner was probably my favorite the whole time oh my god I was

[00:11:18] eating I was eating so much. Told you dinner is good. We actually I did this

[00:11:23] survey for the cruise and it was like how did you like the breakfast or

[00:11:27] the dinner buffet menu and I was like we never went to it I have no

[00:11:30] idea what it is no I have no idea what their dinner so I put not a

[00:11:34] plug woman like I never went there I went to the main dining room every

[00:11:36] night you know. Yeah and we got a new set of parents or grandparents. That is true.

[00:11:41] They so they they sit you normally at a table especially if you have less

[00:11:48] people they'll sit you at a table with other couples or other people so

[00:11:52] they can fill up tables that way they don't have like 800 individual

[00:11:56] tables and just it's easier for the service right because they have 500

[00:12:01] people they're all coming into a restaurant at the same time which is

[00:12:04] understandable but so we had a table for eight people and it's just the two of us

[00:12:10] and so we sit down and then two other people show up and this this nice man

[00:12:16] his wife Kay and Steve Kay's husband and so they they sat down and no one

[00:12:26] else showed up so it was just the four of us well that was the first

[00:12:29] night the second night same thing and we were like okay is no one else

[00:12:32] coming and they were then's when they told us oh yeah some people showed up

[00:12:36] on the first night which we missed because we had a reservation for a

[00:12:39] different restaurant and they said there are some people showed up the

[00:12:42] first night but they they told us that night that they liked the party scene

[00:12:48] more so they wanted something quick so they could go back to the pool or go

[00:12:51] back to a party or whatever and I was like I guess sure whatever works.

[00:12:54] I like to party too but I like to eat. So it ended up just being the four of us for

[00:12:59] like five days in a row yeah five or six days in a row is just us the four of us

[00:13:03] at this table so we got to know them pretty good we were talking you know all

[00:13:06] the stuff they like to shop for jewelry and watches tell you that

[00:13:10] because every time we came back that he had a different watch she hadn't

[00:13:13] done different jewelry and half the time they're like oh yeah we bought

[00:13:15] this today there was a sale and I'm like yeah it's cuz we're on a ship

[00:13:19] there what else are you gonna do you know okay but they were really nice

[00:13:24] and then at the end they kind of surprised us and it was like there

[00:13:27] was last night or second to last night and they were like hey do you guys mind

[00:13:32] taking a picture with us and we're like that's fine like we take pictures with

[00:13:35] other couples too you know like hanging out have fun and so then they

[00:13:39] they called the waiter over and they're like hey can you take a picture

[00:13:42] of us he says sure then they stand behind us they're like oh you guys

[00:13:47] just stay seated we'll come over there and we're like okay we came they

[00:13:52] came over stood behind us like a family portrait and I was like I mean

[00:13:56] I guess they took the picture on their on their personal phone and then then

[00:14:01] they left and I was like I guess they have a picture now I don't know it was

[00:14:06] fun I liked it a lot and I really liked our waiter he's from the

[00:14:15] Philippines he's very good at his job he was like yeah I did all this

[00:14:19] fine dining training in New York and all this stuff and I was like you

[00:14:21] are on it dude like you know and then your turn the only thing I say is was

[00:14:31] funny about him was he tried me you know it the food on there you're not

[00:14:35] paying for it or you already paid for with your ticket whatever so there's

[00:14:40] one night where we were like oh let's get steak because it's on the menu

[00:14:43] their menus change each night so all four of us ordered steak Ripley and I

[00:14:49] ordered a medium-rare because we're not animals and the other two they

[00:14:54] ordered it medium-well because they're afraid of red I don't know and so the

[00:15:00] states come but their New York strips I didn't expect anything out of them

[00:15:03] anyway and they were they were a little thin they were probably half

[00:15:06] inch thick so getting a medium-rare was kind of a big ask you know

[00:15:10] because I was like yeah it's gonna be a little bit more done anyway because

[00:15:13] that's barely any time cooking it but they have to sear it you know

[00:15:16] whatever so they came out they gave us all four steaks I get like two or three

[00:15:22] bites in mine and I'm like yeah it's like medium to medium-well but whatever

[00:15:25] it tastes good my flavor is still good it's not gonna change whatever and then

[00:15:29] the couple across must they go are you guys medium well and we're like

[00:15:34] yeah isn't is yours too and that what they order and they go no ours are

[00:15:37] medium-rare and I looked over they were not being rare they were like

[00:15:41] medium just before getting I was looking over at their steak and I could

[00:15:46] see it had like some red in it and I was like oh that's interesting like why

[00:15:49] didn't ours yeah but it was it was definitely medium maybe just below it

[00:15:55] was somewhere in medium it would definitely wasn't medium-rare either way

[00:15:58] but so we told the waiter we were like yeah we the steaks got swung

[00:16:02] switched around and so he's like okay I'll bring new steaks well they told

[00:16:08] him that and I was already done with my steak yeah I guess still good

[00:16:13] steak whatever so he brings out two more steaks and they're medium well and he

[00:16:18] gives it to them and they're eating they're eating and then he comes out

[00:16:21] again and he goes oh are you done with your plates and we're like yeah we're

[00:16:25] done with our plates so he takes both our plates and we're like cool just

[00:16:28] waiting for dessert and he goes oh here you go they're medium-rare and

[00:16:30] he puts down two more steaks in front of us and we're like well like we

[00:16:36] just had an entire steak each plus the sides yeah it was like a whole

[00:16:41] plate still and I was like oh okay so then he's like yeah just have it it's

[00:16:46] fine there and he made it and I'm like yeah but okay sure I guess and I hate

[00:16:51] wasting food like that especially on a cruise ship I was very aware that like

[00:16:55] you know they probably have to throw out like anything that we don't oh yeah

[00:16:58] things like that so I was like I'm just gonna eat it and then they

[00:17:01] brought another steak and I did my best okay like I tried to eat the

[00:17:06] steak I ate a good half of the second one yeah I ate a good amount

[00:17:10] but I was like if I eat more I'm gonna throw up and so we gave it away he

[00:17:13] comes back over later after that you know took him away and he goes and

[00:17:17] here's your dessert and we're like oh right this still has a third course

[00:17:21] awesome but what's a little weight gain on vacation mmm but it's funny

[00:17:26] cuz every time he had extra food he would just give it to us he'd be

[00:17:29] like oh someone we they gave me an extra ice cream do you guys want it

[00:17:33] and we're like I don't the old guy at Crossbones was like I'll take it

[00:17:36] yeah I get some the ice cream over here or like one day Jordan got this

[00:17:39] appetizer that was small cuz he was like oh I don't really need that much

[00:17:42] and then the waiter brings him over another appetizer he goes that's not

[00:17:46] enough for you yeah like it showed up and it was it was three pieces of it

[00:17:53] was seared top sirloin with some dressings and some like arugula and

[00:17:58] stuff it was really good it was really good there was only like

[00:18:01] three or four pieces of it and which is good because it showed up and I was

[00:18:04] like oh good I'm not super hungry this will keep I can have this and then still

[00:18:08] have enough room for dinner so I had that and he goes I know that portion

[00:18:13] was a little small for you here's a little more and I was like oh I can

[00:18:16] have another one of the same thing no he put down this fried seafood cake

[00:18:20] and was like here you go and it was like hush puppies but fried seafood and

[00:18:23] I was like I was like well I can't just leave it here and not eat any

[00:18:28] of it like all right so I had like two of them and then I broke up the

[00:18:32] third one I was like I can't have more of this like I'm nice to have a whole

[00:18:35] dinner and like it's oh so it was so something I got to eat lots of

[00:18:41] French onion soup though that was awesome yeah yeah definitely put a lot

[00:18:45] on the table too yeah I tried my best okay

[00:18:52] dinner was good our first night at a zoomie I was like intoxicated right

[00:18:57] I was like I'm so hungry I'm so hungry so I'll order miso soup as my starter and

[00:19:05] then I ordered ramen but they said I get another starter so I was like oh

[00:19:10] I'll do two miso soups because they're usually like really little in

[00:19:13] the little bowls you know no no they brought me a giant ass bowl of miso

[00:19:17] soup and then I was like I can't do it I can't do it not when I have

[00:19:22] ramen and then we like we had prepaid so we already get all this

[00:19:26] food and then I also had sashimi because I was they were like oh you get

[00:19:29] sashimi and normally sashimi comes in like sets of like three you know they

[00:19:35] brought me 12 they brought me 12 hiding it in my like the broth of my

[00:19:43] ramen by the end of the night it was so fun it was really good though

[00:19:50] that was good and Jordan gave me his eggs so that's true I did I love the egg

[00:19:56] and ramen it's like a soft-boiled egg isn't it yeah oh my gosh I forgot when

[00:20:05] we had what was it that cheese plate we were to cheese plate at dinner as a

[00:20:09] dessert one night no no yeah as a dessert but we just ordered one and

[00:20:14] it showed up and then the waiter comes over and he says would you like some

[00:20:19] crackers and Ripley being Ripley was like I would love some crackers and she

[00:20:25] goes I can't wait to see what kind of crackers and I I look there and I'll

[00:20:28] bet you anything you're about to get packets of saltines that are in those

[00:20:33] little two packs five minutes later she taps me on the solar and like

[00:20:38] what and I look over and he's got like four packets of saltines that he

[00:20:41] just puts the gun in front of her it was really funny to see like all

[00:20:46] this fine food and like this little cheese plate and then some fucking

[00:20:49] saltines they were good though I ate like two of them oh my gosh there was

[00:20:55] it's so funny like I wonder what type of crackers I'm like I know exactly

[00:20:59] what type of crackers you're about to get but of course some of the best

[00:21:03] parts for the excursions so we started in Kazumel where we went

[00:21:08] snorkeling oh my god I loved it it was a lot of fucking exercise I'm not

[00:21:13] like oh my god I was sore after you got some burnt there was that I did get

[00:21:17] sunburned but I got to see so many little fishies and like I've got to put

[00:21:21] my hand out and they almost swam into my hand before they dart away last

[00:21:25] second it was so cool like I was just staring like Jordan was swimming around

[00:21:29] doing stuff I was just sitting there in the water staring at the fish it

[00:21:33] was so cool I would love to do that again before we before we started

[00:21:39] though our instructions for the excursion it said go to this this eco

[00:21:45] park which is where it's at right it's a go there next to the main entrance go

[00:21:50] into this dive shop and ask for Omar he'll help you out and we're like

[00:21:53] okay so we show up and we go up to the ticket counter and we were like

[00:22:00] hey we're looking for this dive shop and she's like oh that's inside the

[00:22:03] park and we're like okay well where's this guy at it says we have

[00:22:07] to meet him and we give her the paper and she goes oh he'll be here in like

[00:22:11] 20 to 30 minutes and we're like okay you don't sound very confident but sure

[00:22:15] so we over and sit down we sit down for probably like 10 minutes nothing

[00:22:20] really happening so we walk up to the front entrance and we're like hey

[00:22:23] we have this paper it says to go here and here but we don't know what

[00:22:26] to do when this guy goes oh you're looking for Omar and we're like yeah

[00:22:30] that's what the paper says too where's Omar at and he's like oh

[00:22:33] he'll be here in probably about like 15 20 minutes I'm like okay at least the

[00:22:37] timelines line up you know like sure whatever he was just go wait on that

[00:22:42] bench he'll be right over to to that bench and we're like he goes to that

[00:22:45] bench every morning okay sure why never so we go sit at that bench

[00:22:48] another couple shows up this this not a couple this dad and his daughter

[00:22:54] or the couple of people sorry his dad and daughter show up and they're

[00:22:58] like are you looking for Omar and we're like yeah are you looking for

[00:23:01] Omar too and they're like yeah and I was like all right at least we're not

[00:23:03] alone you know so we're sitting there waiting 15 minutes goes by this guy

[00:23:09] comes over and he goes all right you four and these two that I just brought

[00:23:12] you're all with me and we're like are you Omar he goes yeah come with me and

[00:23:16] we're like okay we go over to the front entrance and the guy at the front

[00:23:20] entrance who we had talked to previously that told us to wait on the

[00:23:23] bench was like no no no this isn't Omar don't go with him he's doing

[00:23:27] something separate and we're like well he just he just told us to go

[00:23:29] with him and then he looks at that guy he's like no they're waiting for Omar

[00:23:33] he goes oh Omar and I was like what language we all speak right now we're

[00:23:38] all in English right now like what so that guy and his two people walk off

[00:23:42] and they go no no Omar will be over at the bench just go over there okay so

[00:23:46] we're just hanging out for a little bit finally some guy shows up and he

[00:23:49] goes hey are you looking for the dive shop and we're like yeah are you

[00:23:52] Omar he goes no I'm not Omar but I have your tickets and we're like okay

[00:23:56] sure and then he goes ah but it's ten dollars each if you need to get in we

[00:24:02] only take cash and I'm like good thing I have cash but like damn all right but

[00:24:05] a good thing this wasn't mentioned anywhere yeah I guess sure whatever so

[00:24:14] you do that and then he gives us the tickets which by the way the tickets

[00:24:17] were just him writing down our names on a piece of paper that said

[00:24:20] like go snorkeling like that's it was like go snorkel Jordan Ripley

[00:24:25] anyway okay now what he goes are you gonna go into the park you're gonna all

[00:24:30] the way to the back to dive shop number eight it says MJ's on it more like the

[00:24:33] dive shop is way back there and he's like yeah just go up there and give

[00:24:36] them this little ticket and you'll be fine I was like okay all right we'll

[00:24:41] do that then we walk all the way back there there's a guy sitting at the

[00:24:44] counter we're like hey we're supposed to give you this ticket he goes oh

[00:24:47] yeah you guys are all prepaid so let me get your stuff ready you guys

[00:24:50] are going snorkeling that couple's going scuba diving so give me a minute we'll

[00:24:55] sort it all out and we're like okay sounds good and then we look at him we

[00:24:58] go are you Omar and he goes oh no I'm not Omar I don't know where Omar's at

[00:25:04] and I'm like does no one know where this dude is like what who is that

[00:25:07] who's Omar? Who is Omar and where is he? So we never ended up meeting Omar ever we're like whatever it all worked out but still yeah like it was a great time but sometimes it was kind of confusing

[00:25:20] but I had a great time after and then we got to sit on the beach and drink

[00:25:24] which if you haven't been to Mexico these people be trying to sell you

[00:25:28] stuff like at one point I sat down on a hammock and this guy comes over and

[00:25:32] he's like you should sit over there instead and I'll get you drinks I was

[00:25:36] like I just wanted to enjoy your hammocks because they looked really

[00:25:38] nice but now I don't want to be here they're all hanging over

[00:25:43] different things oh that was the other part too is lunch was included

[00:25:46] with this excursion right so we went on the beach we were hanging out at this

[00:25:50] place it was like it was called La Laguna and something something bar we're

[00:25:54] like okay cool we sat there for I don't know an hour or so drinking

[00:25:58] whatnot and then we're like oh the kitchen's open at the place he told us

[00:26:02] to go to which he had written it down for us he's like don't forget I'm

[00:26:05] like you wrote it down he wrote down on the paper he goes you have

[00:26:08] free lunch at this restaurant it's called the Blue Lagoon we're like

[00:26:11] okay sounds good well we were at La Laguna and we're like all right well

[00:26:16] we're hungry let's go get some food so we walked back towards the entrance

[00:26:20] because we didn't see the Blue Lagoon anywhere but there's a lagoon back

[00:26:23] towards the entrance so we went back towards the entrance couldn't find

[00:26:27] anything not seeing much but we see like this replica of some like Mayan

[00:26:32] ruins and stuff or Mayan like artifacts basically so we're like oh

[00:26:35] these are cool let's walk through here so we walk all the way through

[00:26:38] there back around it leads us back out to the other side of the park

[00:26:41] where we just were we walk around for there for a little while we found like

[00:26:44] a massage place there's a place it's like the blue crab and we're like

[00:26:47] that's not it it was one that was like something about squid and I was

[00:26:52] like okay that's not it either well we go all the way you know I was

[00:26:55] like you know fuck it let's go to fucking the dive shop again so we go

[00:26:58] to the dive shop and we're looking for a place called a Blue Lagoon he

[00:27:01] goes it's that building over there with the pink walls on it just they

[00:27:05] have the that's where the food and stuff is and like okay walk all the

[00:27:09] way back over there pink walls and it says on the pink wall it says La Laguna

[00:27:14] and we're like what the fuck that was the place and so we the the bar

[00:27:18] center or the server who was who just seen us he goes hey guys welcome

[00:27:21] back you know what you're here for round two we're like no we were

[00:27:25] looking for a restaurant called the Blue Lagoon is this it he goes oh

[00:27:27] yeah this is it I'm like how come it doesn't fucking say that anywhere

[00:27:30] he's good I don't we I think they changed it but here just sit down

[00:27:33] here I'm like wait the guy at the front of the like we didn't get this

[00:27:36] information a year ago like look for the Blue Lagoon when you get there

[00:27:39] like we got it this morning dude like come on like the word blue wasn't even

[00:27:45] on the restaurant it was painted pink first of all like what but the food

[00:27:50] was really good sampler of a bunch of different Mexican foods and oh my

[00:27:55] god their rice and beans were so good there was a oh man I felt bad for

[00:27:59] those kids that were nearest though their mom was way over controlling do

[00:28:05] you remember them this little girl the little girl there there was like three

[00:28:11] probably teenage boys and two younger girls I don't know how old they were

[00:28:15] but and then the mom and like some family friends who were all adults

[00:28:18] right well apparently the mom was in charge of everything because that's

[00:28:22] how she perceived it to be and so this little girl the youngest one I

[00:28:29] know maybe ten she walks up and she said she's in her like her swimsuit right as

[00:28:36] she said mom I need clothes to change so you'd be dry and the mom's like oh

[00:28:41] now you need clothes not earlier when I told you to change okay we can do

[00:28:45] it now and I was like all right she just needs clothes like yeah and I was

[00:28:50] like sarcasm with the kid which sure gives her the outfit like takes it

[00:28:56] out of the bag which apparently was at the bottom of the bag which is another

[00:29:00] big hassle for her because she turned around was like let me take everything

[00:29:02] out of here and like took everything out of this bag and I'm like why you

[00:29:06] why you acting like this right now like damn all right sorry for your

[00:29:09] beach vacation being ruined for taking care of your kids so she gets out

[00:29:13] this outfit which is just some shorts and a shirt you know hands it to

[00:29:17] the little girl and little girl goes oh this one matches so-and-so which

[00:29:22] was like the slightly older girl who was standing right next to him and

[00:29:25] that was the exact tone she used she's like oh it matches so-and-so like

[00:29:29] nothing like oh no I don't want to match them she wasn't like I'm so

[00:29:32] upset and the mom like while she's putting stuff back in she whipped

[00:29:36] around she goes yeah and the older boys are matching because that's what I

[00:29:39] outfits I bought for them and when you can bring your own that's when

[00:29:42] you'll have your own choices and I was like she's like nine she all she

[00:29:46] said was who I get to match my sister like yeah she sounded excited and

[00:29:52] mom was just like well you can pick it next time and I was like all right

[00:29:55] I don't know but the things the thing she was blowing up over were not worth

[00:30:02] it I feel like like their kid didn't even have an attitude about it I

[00:30:07] can understand if the kid was like oh I don't want to match her I don't

[00:30:10] why do I have to wear this ball but her kid what she was literally like

[00:30:12] oh I get to match so-and-so and that's what her mom got mad like

[00:30:15] all right and then she went to the bathroom to like help her change came

[00:30:20] back and like as she was getting back to the table she did one of those like

[00:30:24] white people announcement things were like she got up to the table and I

[00:30:27] clapped eyes and she was like okay listen up everybody like she was

[00:30:31] announcing something really important and she was basically like well we have

[00:30:35] to be on the the bus at this time and it's this time and so this minute

[00:30:39] it's this far to the entrance so we have about five minutes to finish

[00:30:42] eating everyone and everyone's like okay we didn't need like a whole

[00:30:46] announcement planning thing but sure whatever so they're all just

[00:30:49] hanging out eating five minutes goes by and she's like it's time to go

[00:30:53] everyone like claps again and she hands like bags to a bunch of different

[00:30:56] people and she like goes all right follow me this way and like walks off

[00:31:00] without any of the kids and all the kids are just like okay I guess we'll

[00:31:03] follow her so they start walking well there's two like adult men left

[00:31:08] at the table and they grab both their backpacks and they pick up a

[00:31:12] third backpack and they're like hey whose backpack is this and then

[00:31:15] everyone's already mostly gone out of restaurant at this point and they're

[00:31:18] like is this so-and-so's or is it so-and-so's and they're like I don't know I guess we'll

[00:31:22] just take it with and they can get it later so they start walking out and the

[00:31:27] waiter comes over he goes oh did you guys not like the food most of the

[00:31:29] plates are still half full and he goes no we just have to go now

[00:31:32] because apparently it takes 30 minutes to walk to the entrance instead of

[00:31:36] 10 like it did to get here and then they walks out and he's like okay so

[00:31:43] like she was super paranoid controlling about it like we they had to get to

[00:31:46] the entrance so early so they could sit there and wait and like for the bus

[00:31:49] or something like I'm like yeah her family definitely did not get to eat

[00:31:54] very much because she wanted to be waiting around for the bus and we were

[00:32:01] relaxed and then we took a taxi back to the port that is true you told

[00:32:07] the guy like a port name and he's like what name is that and he goes what

[00:32:10] you guys like what where are you trying to go right now like you're

[00:32:14] gonna get lost and I was like we're on a Royal Caribbean ship and goes all

[00:32:17] right Royal Caribbean just say that and I was like okay you're like no but

[00:32:25] I saw the name of the port on the side of a building that we passed once

[00:32:28] and I'm like okay it also said the port name in the like instructions

[00:32:31] now I think you lied and then the next day was Honduras yeah I was

[00:32:39] Honduras next nothing much to say about it other than it was beautiful

[00:32:42] yeah there were some good shops but like five shops there so we just hung out

[00:32:48] on the ship which was nice I did buy some coffee though excited to try oh

[00:32:52] yeah it's really good and then we went to Belize nothing exciting happened

[00:32:58] there oh my god no so good but oh sure but when I want you to exercise

[00:33:05] it's terribly boring okay okay maybe you should exercise me to the top of

[00:33:09] some Mayan ruins yeah okay but okay before we went on your excursion though

[00:33:13] right so we bookies outside of the cruise was like third party so we we

[00:33:18] get to Belize it said to be there like 30 minutes before this time we got

[00:33:22] there early because Jordan reads the instructions right and so we're waiting

[00:33:27] we're waiting we're waiting one of the tour people outside calls the

[00:33:32] number on there for us to see where he is he's like I'll be there in 10

[00:33:35] minutes spoiler alert it was way more than 10 minutes but whatever so he gets

[00:33:40] there and he's like oh I'm just waiting for one other group like you guys go

[00:33:43] sit over there we waited for like over an hour before he came over and

[00:33:49] goes apparently the other group canceled so we're good to go now

[00:33:53] guys we were like bro we've just been sitting here for an hour for

[00:33:57] nothing but hey we got to see that guy's handmade that guy's wife's

[00:34:01] beautiful bracelets yeah everybody's got handmade stuff there yeah so we had

[00:34:06] seen these like they're like just plaster like wooden beaded bracelets

[00:34:10] that you there you know at every single shop there but this guy was like

[00:34:15] my wife made these are so beautiful they're handmade we're like no thank

[00:34:20] you maybe later he did that thing where he was gonna try to put it on

[00:34:23] my wrist and I was like no thank you he's like I just want to show you

[00:34:27] how good it looks and I was like no because they do that because then

[00:34:30] they guilt you into buying it I wasn't doing it they put on you like oh you

[00:34:33] already have it just just keep it and give me the money and you're like no I

[00:34:36] don't want that but so the rest of day every shop we went into we saw a

[00:34:42] ton of those bracelets and me and Jordan were just like that guy's wife

[00:34:45] must be so busy she's a so many of those and then just hit the mic yeah

[00:34:50] you'd and it would be like oh look it's that guy's hand that guy's

[00:34:53] wife's handmade bracelets yeah we even went to where that was in Belize

[00:34:58] we were in Mexico the next day and there were still some there and I was crazy

[00:35:01] how they're still handmade bracelets here but um we drive and our driver he'd

[00:35:08] be driving right like that guy was zoom in he was going around dangerous

[00:35:14] curve that man knew the route all right it's not the worst drug I've

[00:35:18] ever had in another country though I'll take it got a little motion sick

[00:35:22] it was fine and we're drinking water because it's a really fucking hot day

[00:35:27] like so humid but we get there and it was so cool being in a group by

[00:35:33] herself because he would just tell us all of his knowledge and like explain

[00:35:37] everything to us and then he'd be like okay go do this go climb up these

[00:35:40] steps go climb up the ruins I'll be over here you know he's like I'm

[00:35:43] climbing up that shit that you have one so I climbed up every single one

[00:35:46] and took tons of pictures but it was so cool these it was all tun ha

[00:35:55] in Belize and they're dedicated to the Sun God so he was pointing out like

[00:35:59] where all the faces were where the faces used to be of their deity and it

[00:36:04] just I I could feel the history like it just felt great standing there and

[00:36:09] being like this is where you know ancient people live I always thought

[00:36:14] that was an interesting phrase what does that I can feel the history mean

[00:36:17] I just like wow dead people are were once here like what does that mean

[00:36:20] the energy like the energy yeah the earth was given off energy it was pretty

[00:36:26] sure it's called dehydration but I wasn't dehydrated that day you were a little

[00:36:30] bit I believe people leave energy behind okay leave energy behind what was

[00:36:39] the energy they left behind they murdered the people in charge and then

[00:36:42] abandoned the city what energy were you feeling positive vibes from the

[00:36:46] marketplace like what do you yeah that's good energy this was so nice but

[00:36:55] like people were stabbed here and you're like oh nice just stabbing

[00:37:00] people anymore like yeah it's weird huh like why don't we overthrow our

[00:37:04] corporate overlords much harder when they have like drones and satellites

[00:37:08] and missiles and whatever keep hitting this thing are you while you're sitting down yeah damn

[00:37:21] and then we got to eat a Belize mango or is like little not like a big

[00:37:29] mango is like a peach almost it was a mango but I've never had a mango like

[00:37:34] that before you know I have mangoes very often do you yeah but mangoes the

[00:37:40] mangoes I've seen are like the big ones just because there's the type of mango

[00:37:44] though this here more than likely yeah but I've never had that type of mango

[00:37:48] it was similar to a peach you know RIP Leiland cashews are born oh my

[00:37:52] god okay I will never look at a cashew the same way again like ever

[00:37:55] you're gonna forget it was gonna move on I literally told that to a customer today because they started talking about cashews and I was

[00:38:03] like bro do you want to know about cashews? Cashews are my favorite but they're expensive for a good reason like there's a lot of things

[00:38:08] you're like why is milk so expensive it's just the government's fault yes

[00:38:11] and there's other things that are like why are cashews so expensive because

[00:38:14] they're hard as fuck to get like yeah so basically a cashew grows on like

[00:38:19] a cashew fruit it's like little round fruit and on top of that fruit is

[00:38:24] where the cashew shell is and they get one cashew from every single

[00:38:31] fruit and then they have to roast the cashews out in the Sun for weeks at a

[00:38:36] time because it's toxic the chemical or the the fumes they give off are toxic

[00:38:41] so they have to roast them outside for weeks to get one cashew so they

[00:38:45] need hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of these fruits to get the

[00:38:49] cashews I feel like you're looking at it too of like only like 10 grow on

[00:38:55] a tree like there's a lot of them how many cashews grow on a tree lots like

[00:39:02] look this is how they grow they grow in clusters okay it's not like there's

[00:39:06] only 10 per tree and you got to harvest a bunch of trees no like the

[00:39:09] cashew tree has a bunch of them on there and you just pick them off it's

[00:39:16] definitely not like as rare as you're making it sound to get them it's just

[00:39:19] a long process to process them too yeah it's so much work and it's such

[00:39:23] a long process and I just I was really amazed that this was where cashews come

[00:39:28] from and like you know I think in America a lot of times we don't think

[00:39:33] about where our food comes from or like how much work is put into

[00:39:36] growing that food I think the hardest part about cashews is they're a

[00:39:39] tropical plant like they can't be in drier places too but but yeah

[00:39:44] there's like I said there's they grow abundantly on the tree you just

[00:39:49] have to harvest them so now I have a little cashew I can't do anything with

[00:39:53] it outside for years why is the time keep getting longer it's like a few

[00:39:58] days is what he told us I thought he said a few weeks roasted outside and he

[00:40:02] goes they roast them for a few weeks of the year because it were produces

[00:40:05] a bunch of toxic fumes and things oh I see okay but yeah I just thought

[00:40:10] that was really cool and then we went back and we went shopping and we

[00:40:14] ate lunch at this place called the drunken lizard is that what it's called

[00:40:20] it's called the wet lizard the wet lizard so close the wet lizard and the

[00:40:25] food was really good I got this sampler of Belizean food oh my god

[00:40:30] Belize meat pies I'm gonna look up recipes on how to make Belizean

[00:40:34] surprise you haven't already I thought forgot about it till just now

[00:40:37] but I really liked it and I don't know what the other foods were

[00:40:41] called because they were in like Spanish they were really good it was

[00:40:45] almost like a flat taco thing their tostadas it's like a tostada and then

[00:40:51] there was rice and beans and I just really liked it like it was delicious

[00:40:59] um and we had a few drinks hang hung out you know whatever and then we

[00:41:05] left and then what no we stayed there the next day was Cozumel which we had

[00:41:15] last second decided to book a not Cozumel that was the post-amiya

[00:41:20] yep and we booked a last-minute salsa making salsa dance class and it

[00:41:30] honestly was one of our favorite parts of the trip like it was

[00:41:32] fantastic other than that mom who shouldn't have been a mom I mean she

[00:41:37] should be a mom but she shouldn't have brought her kids no she sucks at it

[00:41:41] it was very it was very clearly like in the description like a couples

[00:41:46] activity of like oh yes you get to make salsa with your significant other

[00:41:50] and then you learn how to salsa dance and then you can relax at the beach

[00:41:53] afterward and there was also a tequila tasting so like very

[00:41:58] evident that like you should have one to two people like one if you're brave two

[00:42:04] if you're lucky and she shows up and she has her parents there her and her

[00:42:09] husband and then her daughter and son and she tells the daughter and son to

[00:42:13] go sit with the grandparents as soon as they sit down and she sits at a

[00:42:17] different table one of the daughters started crying because she wasn't near

[00:42:21] her mom and the son just kept running back and forth between the tables

[00:42:24] being like what's going on over here what's going on over there let's do

[00:42:27] that I'm like these weren't like little little kids like this was like an

[00:42:30] eight-year-old girl who wouldn't stop fucking crying for no reason no she

[00:42:35] was crying because she wasn't near her mom whilst they were making salsa and

[00:42:39] bless those tour guides who are just like and now you're gonna take and

[00:42:43] the you're gonna take the avocado like trying to just talk over them I'm

[00:42:48] like oh my gosh control your kids too like yeah so the first thing we

[00:42:51] learned to make was guacamole and you know they were like one person's gonna

[00:42:57] do like all the cutting one person's gonna do all this mashing so I was our

[00:43:01] designated cutter and I started cutting open the avocado and I was like trying

[00:43:05] to figure out how to get the seed out so Jordan's like oh you just whack

[00:43:07] it like this like here's how you do it and then this bitch turns around

[00:43:10] yep same woman yeah and she's like mothering me she's like you gotta do

[00:43:16] it this way and hit it a little harder and then you can twist like

[00:43:18] this and I and meanwhile both her kids are standing behind her like crying at

[00:43:22] her table and we're like okay I really felt so embarrassed I was like don't

[00:43:26] look at me like I'm trying to learn new things by myself like I well it

[00:43:30] was that too but also the fact I'm like your kids are in front of you

[00:43:34] how about you pay attention to them since you decided to bring them to

[00:43:36] this like yeah and so they had like the drinks you know they gave us a

[00:43:40] blue margarita to start with and then you could order like beer and at

[00:43:45] one point me and Jordan each had a beer on our table and her son keeps

[00:43:48] running between our fucking table like shit like almost rock knockin it and I

[00:43:52] was like you might want to move that back babe like he's gonna knock that

[00:43:55] shit over so it's a little distracting to say the least and then at the end

[00:44:01] one of those salsas you put half shot of tequila in it and some beer

[00:44:07] and so as half tequila and half nose is was it beer yeah they came

[00:44:11] around they did the tequila and they poured beer on top of it either way

[00:44:15] there's like half tequila half beer like just a shot of it well this lady she

[00:44:20] stands up she goes excuse me what is the substitute if we don't want tequila

[00:44:24] we don't drink and I'm like why did you come to this like you just

[00:44:27] thought the salsa sounded fun and the dancing sounded fun because there was

[00:44:31] very clearly it said tequila tasting on this and they were generous with

[00:44:38] the tequila tasting I think between the two of us we had between the two

[00:44:43] of us I think we had like what seven shots of tequila oh yeah it was like

[00:44:49] real real quick in a row like within like a ten minute span they were like

[00:44:53] and try this one and we would try it and they're like you try the next one

[00:44:56] and we would try it and they're like and this one's good too try it and

[00:44:58] I'm like oh yeah and it was from this local company that's there was

[00:45:07] selling their tequila too but oh my gosh there was this tequila and I'm

[00:45:12] not a huge fan of tequila but that was the best tequila I've ever had in my

[00:45:16] life it didn't even and and she's still up there talking about them all the

[00:45:21] tequilas and I told her that's the best tequila I've ever had I'm gonna get

[00:45:26] a bottle and she's like I don't know they're they're probably pretty

[00:45:30] expensive and I was like no I'm gonna get a bottle they look they look

[00:45:36] really good it tastes amazing and so so it ended up being it's their reserve

[00:45:45] selection they make what do they say five thousand bottles a year yeah and

[00:45:49] it's a 100% blue agave tequila that they age for 24 years in a French

[00:45:55] cognac barrel oh my gosh it's so good we bought we bought a bottle of it

[00:46:01] and we're only gonna drink it on like anniversaries because the bottle

[00:46:04] like three hundred and thirty dollars and as yeah she definitely she told us

[00:46:09] she's like it's fifty five hundred pesos but that converts to two hundred

[00:46:12] seventy dollars and I was like look I'm buying one that shit is good and

[00:46:16] then we looked at the bank statement like a day later and I was like

[00:46:18] definitely says 330 and then I calculated it on my phone I'm like

[00:46:21] yep the translation from 5500 is about 330 I don't think she knew the

[00:46:28] current exchange rate was what it was because like it probably at one

[00:46:31] point was 270 but the exchange rate differs you know so yeah that's gonna

[00:46:35] be our special little oh my gosh that is such good tequila

[00:46:39] amazing in a Cozumel we also bought a bunch of tequila that's like fruit

[00:46:48] flavored mmm what was that home for at the end it's good now would we buy

[00:46:55] mango guava and coffee one yeah the coffee one was good it tasted

[00:47:00] closer to chocolate they're very good yeah Mexico be drinking mm-hmm and every

[00:47:07] time we got on the ship they're like you have tequila and we're like yeah

[00:47:10] like how do you know I didn't buy whiskey and he's like it's Mexico

[00:47:12] motherfucker and I looked at the thing and it was like they have to put a

[00:47:18] list down of what comes on the on the ship you know and who it's going

[00:47:21] to because they deliver it to you on the last day because they don't

[00:47:23] want you getting fucking like hammered every day or something I don't

[00:47:26] know but so they they write it down and the first day it was like tequila

[00:47:32] tequila tequila tequila tequila tequila like all tequila and I share whatever

[00:47:35] the last day when we brought him that bottle and I was like yes about

[00:47:38] tequila goes yeah I figured yeah he run down tequila I was like anybody

[00:47:42] bring anything interesting on board he goes somebody bought a bottle of

[00:47:44] wine on board for some reason I don't know where you get good wine in

[00:47:47] Mexico but alright and I was like yeah it's kind of a strange choice to

[00:47:51] buy wine in Mexico but I don't think so I think it's difficult to grow good

[00:47:59] grapes in Mexico I mean they grow them in like California so I'm sure there's

[00:48:02] parts of Mexico that California and the place in Mexico we were at are two

[00:48:06] very different climates though yeah that's that's why I was very

[00:48:09] surprised like I don't know anywhere that you would go I don't Mexican

[00:48:13] vineyards yeah the salsa dancing was fun though I really enjoyed that with

[00:48:19] you it was I wasn't the greatest at it but it was fun yeah I can't believe that

[00:48:24] like you danced worse than me I did not dance worse than you I just have

[00:48:31] trouble following other people's directions like takes me time to

[00:48:36] process but by the end I thought I was getting it and then we're done and

[00:48:40] I was like I need to try again there are Mexican vineyards oh that

[00:48:45] one looks good Kuna de Tierra yeah I don't know where these places are

[00:48:50] but I bet you they're not down south I've never heard of Guanajuato

[00:48:56] municipality and that yeah I know that part seen a map yeah this is the

[00:49:04] furthest south the other ones were like up in California over here in this

[00:49:07] region yeah it's fine but it was great and then after the dancing

[00:49:16] everything we got what they called it like a beach break you got to go to

[00:49:19] the beach nearby and just hang out for like an hour so I collected some

[00:49:23] seashells got in the beautiful water took a nap oh man yeah the bus smell

[00:49:32] like piss though the wine back yeah I was not trying to say anything about

[00:49:36] it but I was like oh this is not my favorite sentence oh and we saw a

[00:49:40] Komodo dragon right? No, we saw an iguana. We saw an iguana. Very different dangerous species.

[00:49:49] Those things are huge what are you talking about? Two iguanas. That makes a good bar name, two iguanas.

[00:49:58] That's probably how it is. But it was a great time and I got a little tan.

[00:50:06] Three iguanas. Looking to get an iguana or maybe two? Well. Oh man.

[00:50:18] I think I told you briefly about it but you went into the bathroom and so I was

[00:50:25] just hanging out at the bottom of one of these staircases on the ship and this

[00:50:29] couple comes down the stairs and they're teenagers maybe early 20s

[00:50:36] like they didn't look very old and the guy stops at the bottom of the

[00:50:41] stairs and he goes I'm gonna go to the bathroom and the girl she says do

[00:50:45] you need help and I was like laughing I'm like that's pretty funny and he said

[00:50:50] yes. I was like this took a serious turn and she said well what do you want me

[00:50:56] to do? Do you want to go back to the room? I was like this is getting more serious.

[00:51:00] He needs help. He can't reach. I don't know.

[00:51:05] He needs help. That's crazy. All right. And he goes no just come with me into

[00:51:09] the restroom and he starts walking towards the men's room and I was like

[00:51:13] more interesting what's going on here. Normally it's like I need to take my

[00:51:17] daughter into the room to change her you know and then he turned around. Anyway I was

[00:51:20] like more interesting just kind of gonna shuffle off to the side here sip

[00:51:24] a Madrid see what happens here. I'm like she gonna go in and she goes

[00:51:29] that's the men's room and he said ah you're small enough just or your

[00:51:34] chest is small enough if anybody asked us tell them you're trans and then

[00:51:37] continues walking and she goes you're right but I don't want to and then

[00:51:43] just stood there and I was like what what is happening here? I'm like all

[00:51:47] right her hair was short like it was cut you know not super long and she was

[00:51:52] a little bit smaller but you could evidently tell that she was still

[00:51:55] feminine and I was like all right what conversation was this where you need

[00:52:00] help with the bathroom so bad that you're just like nah tell people

[00:52:02] you're trans get in the bathroom babe. I don't know but he I was like

[00:52:08] okay but it threw me off I'm like oh and then and then he said something about

[00:52:18] like the year which I think he was like trying to imply like oh it's 2024

[00:52:23] there'll be a trans bathroom this ship was built in 1996 it does not have

[00:52:28] one. There was like two family bathrooms on the whole ship every other

[00:52:33] bath I'm like if you need to do something like that just go to the

[00:52:36] family bathroom I know I'll question it you know or go back to your room

[00:52:39] there's a bathroom in there but that was it was just get caught me so off

[00:52:44] guard where he's like nah you're flat enough just be a trans and I was like

[00:52:47] what oh my gosh she was a danger. You're better at telling stories than me so you do this one. She's a danger man so I walked up to the bar we we went over to this little area I don't know if we

[00:53:02] were there just relaxing right that's um but we found these we found these two

[00:53:07] little chairs off to the side and it's straight across from the bar it's not

[00:53:10] very far so normally they have a waiter that'll come over and ask you if

[00:53:14] you want drinks so you don't have to go up to the bar like yeah that'd be

[00:53:17] fun they didn't come up this time so I was like ah well I want to drink

[00:53:20] you want one let's go over to yeah no right after I saw that part I was

[00:53:27] like but so I went over there you know and I was like oh she wants whatever

[00:53:33] you wanted and I'll take one of these right I think so yeah and so I was like

[00:53:39] let me just do this this and this and they're like okay and so I was

[00:53:42] listening to this conversation rather I wasn't listening I was forced to

[00:53:47] hear because she's yelling and the first thing is it's her this this

[00:53:54] blonde lady on to her right is this brunette it was apparently a friend or

[00:54:01] family I don't know they didn't look very similar so I'm guessing friend

[00:54:05] and then on her other side on her left is this woman who looks very

[00:54:11] uncomfortable in her seat and then to the left of that is this dude who's

[00:54:15] got some like grayish hair I don't know 50s maybe well the

[00:54:19] conversation was between the blonde woman and the guy at the end the

[00:54:23] gray guy right and it started the part that I started to pay attention to was

[00:54:32] when he said oh you'll really like my dad then and I was like are you trying

[00:54:36] to set up your dad while you're on a cruise like this is so weird you know

[00:54:41] and I get that later we found out he's from Canada they're from like

[00:54:44] Minnesota on the border so they're real they actually are like live real

[00:54:48] close together but it started off with him going oh you'll really like

[00:54:53] my dad then I was like this is a weird conversation to start out with you know

[00:54:56] I didn't know their proximity and whatever and she and she said oh yeah

[00:55:01] he goes yeah he's uh he's what is it he's 94 but you could swear he's like

[00:55:08] 70 by looking at him and she goes oh my gosh that's just the best when

[00:55:12] they're there 70 but they look 90 and he goes no no he's 95 but he

[00:55:17] looks 70 she goes oh I like the opposite where they're like 70 to 75 but

[00:55:21] they just look like they're 90 and I was like what is okay okay and at this point

[00:55:29] Jordan and I were like like sitting down I was reading a book he was like

[00:55:32] playing games on his phone he goes you gotta hear this shit yeah I was like

[00:55:35] you gotta hear this you know what so I explained that I walked back over to

[00:55:38] it's where Ripley said and explained that whole first part of the

[00:55:41] conversation we're like that was crazy that was weird like sure you

[00:55:44] got your fetishes go for it I don't care you know but whatever

[00:55:49] I go up to the bar to like get another drink or whatever and there's a woman

[00:55:54] to my left with her like husband or whatever and I we're both waiting for

[00:55:59] our orders and this blonde lady the guy she's talking to gets up to go to

[00:56:04] the bathroom and she well at this point to us are I forgot the the guy the

[00:56:09] lady that was sitting in between her and old dude she got up and left

[00:56:13] because she was like I'm uncomfortable with this shit and the gray dude

[00:56:16] slid over and is now sitting right next to blonde bitch and she was she was so

[00:56:20] drunk and she was just saying worse and worse things so he gets up to go use

[00:56:24] the restroom and she makes a joke about roofing him didn't it wasn't yeah

[00:56:31] it was like sound funny it was very like serious no it was like he got up

[00:56:37] and she goes oh don't worry I'll watch a drink for you and I won't

[00:56:39] even roofy you and he's like oh you might need to I'm pretty big and

[00:56:44] she goes don't worry I have enough for you and then they all walked away and no

[00:56:48] one laughed like they just said that all like matter of fact and we were

[00:56:53] like what it happened the lady next to me and we make eye contact and she

[00:56:58] goes well I just walked face first into that conversation I was like I know

[00:57:02] right what the fuck yeah I was just all of a sudden oh yeah no we don't

[00:57:07] have we have enough rupees for that and I'm like okay I mean I know she's

[00:57:11] like older but like date rape jokes are just not funny to me I don't think they

[00:57:17] should be funny to you either if it's a joke maybe but she was very serious

[00:57:22] when she said that shit and I was like hmm especially considering like people

[00:57:26] probably do get roofied on cruises sometimes like I had I get back to the

[00:57:30] stateroom I feel dizzy about yeah motion sickness or about it and then

[00:57:35] we saw her again later like two hours later I guess that guy didn't score

[00:57:41] or maybe he did and he just didn't last long I don't know we saw her a few hours

[00:57:44] later at the downstairs at the party dancing and she was just kind of like

[00:57:49] swaying with the ship like she didn't know where she was but she just liked

[00:57:52] the music yeah I was like I got pretty drunk several times I never got so

[00:57:59] drunk I like couldn't remember shit or that I was like you know like I

[00:58:04] wasn't doing some music at one point and Jordan recorded me swaying

[00:58:07] to the music but when when we listen to the like oh that was different though we

[00:58:16] were listening to like violin and guitar duo and there I look over at

[00:58:23] Ripley and her eyes are closed and she's just like swaying with the music

[00:58:26] like she's at like an old jazz concert or something I was like I'm a recorded

[00:58:34] but I really enjoyed that music they were great at their instruments it was

[00:58:39] good I enjoyed most of the entertainment like Aaron Bonk Aaron Bonk was pretty

[00:58:44] funny loved Aaron Bonk funny guy great stage presence a lot of energy um he's

[00:58:50] like a whip artist and he does like flame tricks and things like that it's

[00:58:55] really cool never seen anything like that myself personally and then some of

[00:59:01] them were not so great that singer there was a singer and she had a beautiful

[00:59:07] voice but it was just not for a younger crowd it was for old people who

[00:59:11] were trying to sleep I don't even think the old people are enjoying it that

[00:59:14] much like every song she sings she's like this was a song me and my dad

[00:59:18] used to love and he died when I was 19 and this one was like in her

[00:59:22] 40s and we're like I was doing the math I was like so she's still

[00:59:25] talking about her dead dad 20 years later in their music which is fine

[00:59:29] like if you shared something but every song she sang was like a slow it was

[00:59:33] slow song rock okay and we ended up leaving halfway through it's like I

[00:59:37] can't do this anymore no I was falling asleep I'm like the music she's a

[00:59:40] good singer voice sounds good but it's just so slow and like it's like

[00:59:44] boring almost I'm like all right well the comedian guy was okay like it

[00:59:49] was hit or miss with him yeah we saw a comedian it was late night adult

[00:59:53] comedy and he was he was all right okay so he made a kept making jokes

[00:59:57] about people getting up and leaving or leaving the room like the first fewer

[01:00:00] times I was like okay that's funny whatever every single fucking person

[01:00:05] that got to do anything he was like insulting them and I was like dude get

[01:00:09] some new material yeah every time someone would come in or leave he would

[01:00:14] just like yell at them like oh you're gonna come in now halfway through the

[01:00:16] show nice you to fucking join us huh what about this guy huh fuck this

[01:00:20] guy and we were like he just got back from the bathroom is the same

[01:00:23] guy you made fun of five minutes ago my way at one point he started to

[01:00:26] make a joke about how you can't say certain things because certain people

[01:00:29] won't like it and there was a black couple next to us and they were like

[01:00:32] oh here we go and he just stopped there thankfully but I was like I am not

[01:00:36] into this kind of comedy personally yeah I don't know I was trying to play

[01:00:40] it like the older crowd cuz there were a lot of old people there but even

[01:00:43] stills like yeah I was I think my favorite thing we saw was the love and

[01:00:48] marriage game that shit was funny that was pretty funny so it's like

[01:00:53] the newlywed show if you ever seen that from like the 70s and 80s when that show

[01:00:57] was going on they took all their questions directly from there but the way they do it is they did a

[01:01:01] couple that had been married for like less than a year a couple that had

[01:01:04] been married for like two to three years a couple that had been married

[01:01:07] for like 20 to 30 and then a couple that have been married for like 40 50

[01:01:11] plus years oh my god what was his name Steve?

[01:01:15] the old dude? no that was Bert. Bert oh my god Bert he went so hard at

[01:01:20] karaoke first of all he did baby got back no that was Steve oh two different

[01:01:25] old guys two different old guys sorry so Steve did baby got back Bert and his

[01:01:30] wife participated in this love and marriage game and they were so fucking

[01:01:35] funny it was ridiculous like at one point there was a question it was like

[01:01:40] ladies when you're white like when you see your husband in the

[01:01:46] bedroom are you thinking like ooh like talking about penis size or whatever

[01:01:49] they're like oh you thinking Superman you think in Woody Woodpecker or you what

[01:01:54] was the third one? Pee Wee Herman. Pee Wee Herman and this woman said this

[01:01:59] woman the one they had been married for 40 50 years whatever she's like

[01:02:04] Pee Wee Herman Bert comes out. He didn't even hesitate. It made every laugh because

[01:02:09] every other woman said Superman right Bert comes out they asked him

[01:02:14] what she would have answered and he proudly goes Superman everybody in the

[01:02:20] crowd just absolutely lost it it was so funny I'll say I think the one that

[01:02:26] was really funny too is they asked like all the women like all the guys

[01:02:30] like what bra size their wives wear and tell me why half of these men said 22

[01:02:37] all three of them three two of them said 22 one said 21 which like

[01:02:43] that's not maybe if you're like 10 years old because for I mean some women

[01:02:49] do wear like a 28 okay but that woman who came out to give her a hand to her

[01:02:54] she lied she was not 34 anything oh my god she said 33 and I was like

[01:02:59] what yeah she said 33 and I was like what is your bra custom made but she

[01:03:04] was definitely like a 38 I just want to put that at a minimum like she was a large she was a bigger woman

[01:03:09] like she was not she was not anywhere near 34 and 33 oh my but the one guy

[01:03:15] who got it like almost right no so two of them got it almost right so Bert

[01:03:21] and his wife was like oh honey I used to but the first one I think he said

[01:03:26] like 32 30 32 something no they also 20 yeah they were all off

[01:03:33] it's funny because as soon as as soon as he asked that he's like what size do

[01:03:40] you get and they the first guy he goes double D and the host he goes that's

[01:03:47] good usually there's a number with it do you have one for us like you guys

[01:03:52] like 22 and everyone was like his wife was the closest to being a 22 because

[01:03:59] like she was little but I think she said she was like 32 something yeah and

[01:04:04] then oh there was the the sugar daddy couple yeah which was I definitely think

[01:04:11] they met on some sort of sugar daddy dating website and just fell in love and

[01:04:14] got married because this woman was like a blonde bombshell she had big

[01:04:19] titties long hair her outfit was on point she was wearing like nice

[01:04:24] heels like she looked good and she knew it and he's wearing flip-flops

[01:04:27] and some cargo shorts and like a t-shirt that was like yep this is my beer belly

[01:04:32] he wasn't like an ugly man by any means but he certainly wasn't quite on her

[01:04:37] level and he was a little older than her but you could tell that he had

[01:04:43] money you could absolutely tell you had money it was fun though I enjoyed

[01:04:47] watching it and seeing all the different types of couples we would

[01:04:51] have won there was no winning there was no winning they gave everyone a

[01:04:55] bottle of champagne okay but we would have gotten all the answers right I

[01:04:58] don't think so why not I don't know I think we know each other pretty well

[01:05:06] well but yeah no as one of the questions like where's the craziest

[01:05:12] place you ever had sex and like two of the couples were like my mom's

[01:05:15] right there and he's like wow your mom and your kids about to find out how

[01:05:17] freaky they are all right go like you're married it's fine oh that was

[01:05:23] so funny though because the first girl she's like oh a car you know two of the

[01:05:28] four couples said in a car Mike is that crazy her husband comes out and

[01:05:34] what did he say he was like I don't know he said something real crazy

[01:05:39] though like like somewhere oh yeah no she said in a car on in like a park

[01:05:45] and he came out and he goes oh yeah in the hotel like jacuzzi up on the

[01:05:50] balcony blah blah and she's like and he's like oh was that not what you were

[01:05:58] thinking which I'm like his was a better answer way crazy couple they got it

[01:06:04] right she was like they had sex in a hot springs in Costa Rica she said in

[01:06:12] a Springs in Costa Rica which was still I was like hot springs but sure

[01:06:16] he came out and he goes oh yeah in the volcano pool in Costa Rica like volcano

[01:06:24] springs yeah the hot springs volcano pool yes

[01:06:29] you got the money pay for it go where you want hey you can fall in love with

[01:06:34] a rich man as easily as you can a poor man and you chose the short straw

[01:06:38] look at that I just love you mmm and one day we'll be wealthy yeah if my

[01:06:47] anyway so are you talking about the book hmm what you have a book oh my

[01:06:54] gosh this is the first time hearing it but I have so much editing to do and

[01:06:57] things to change it's gonna take forever so like next year no I'm three

[01:07:08] months maybe I need is that an actual deadline and stop being like video game

[01:07:12] developers and pushing it back I don't want to have a deadline because then I

[01:07:15] might push it back again does fine it's better than you go and I'll get to it

[01:07:18] eventually yeah I'll get to it eventually I read this really good book

[01:07:21] and I hate everything I've written I'm like it's not good enough you just

[01:07:26] focus on writing yours then well because reading is like research it's

[01:07:32] like research yeah it's like seeing how other people sentence or structure

[01:07:36] their sentences and like how they use imagery and things like that I'm like oh

[01:07:41] my god like I want my writing to be this good you know for the first 40%

[01:07:46] of that book you said you didn't know if you liked it or not you got to 40%

[01:07:51] and you're like I don't know where this is going I don't know if I like

[01:07:53] it or not I don't know what's going on I was like yeah it's beautiful

[01:07:59] writing great imagery like she's very poetic almost in the way that she

[01:08:03] writes but I didn't know what was happening but then I learned at the end

[01:08:07] of the book that you're not supposed to know what's happening like that's the

[01:08:09] whole point and then when you learn what's happening you're like fuck it's

[01:08:14] like that anime that we just finished the cautious hero is overly cautious

[01:08:17] it's like that kind of ending where you get to it and you're like fuck

[01:08:21] yeah and then the next book doesn't come out to 2025 mm-hmm good that's

[01:08:27] right about when you're gonna be doing yours I'm gonna finish it

[01:08:31] earlier than that I just I have so much to change about it wrap us up so you can

[01:08:34] go right whale if you liked hearing all that well who's whale well will know

[01:08:42] like William that's all folks quest Meyer

[01:08:46] Christopher Christopher dang it I was close about if you're in the

[01:08:53] tragedy subreddit like for names it's like baby names that are spelt really

[01:08:58] stupid or dumb names and this person was like my friend loves certainly like

[01:09:06] Christian and likes going on adventures and he thinks the name

[01:09:09] Christopher is a really good name for a kid and I was like there's no way his

[01:09:13] wife is gonna allow this I was wrong she loves it they're naming their

[01:09:17] kid Christopher I feel like you could have just called him quest that would

[01:09:22] quest would be better you would be better like you could just call him

[01:09:29] Christopher with a Q Christian why do you have to combine all your passions

[01:09:35] it's your kid you're gonna love West of her and you're like oh good yeah

[01:09:41] okay it'll work out great and like high school and college though when

[01:09:45] you're trying to get with somebody and just like have you gone on a quest

[01:09:47] lately like let's go it'll work out eventually but the bullying up until

[01:09:54] then well I was out I hope you liked what you heard today and all of that

[01:10:01] our crews I'm Ripley that's Jordan this has been mindless prattle we and

[01:10:05] I'm Jordan oh sorry go ahead we hope to listen to further episodes if you

[01:10:13] like us give us a rating we have two five-star ratings on Spotify now and

[01:10:17] I'm very proud of it she called me while I was at work to tell me that I

[01:10:23] was like what's going on what's wrong just like have you seen Spotify I'm

[01:10:27] like no did it burn down but all that to say we appreciate you guys so much

[01:10:34] for listening it's been a really cool journey so far and hopefully it's

[01:10:38] only up from here I'll get started on some new clips ASAP now that we're

[01:10:42] with the honeymoon and everything so look forward to that on social media

[01:10:46] mm-hmm all right that's all bye